You can follow the rest of the action over at Cuddles and Rage.com!

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Her incredibly wealthy family is not a collection of saints, and Astrid is well aware of that. She embraces the crazy in her loved ones and has endless admiration for her grandfather, a politician that makes his money building nuclear warheads. You might not be inclined to root for her at first, but you’ll certainly be entertained by her sassy mouth, her quest for revenge on the individual/s that betrayed her and got her kicked out of private school, and her unshakable confidence. Ultimately, Astrid realizes that she can do some good in this world. It’s her journey to this realization, filled with fantastically crafted characters and solid one-liners that will make you LOL.

Here’s a taste of your new fictional BFF:

If that’s not enough to convince you, check out this book trailer. If you’re a fan of New Girl, you’ll recognize a few of these folks.

Firecracker by David Iserson, OUT TODAY (5/16)! Get your copy here.

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Ella was still having trouble containing her emotions while we were enjoying the cake:

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“Lately I’ve been getting constant ringing in my ears and I am so scared that it’s something terrible like someone calling me on my phone” – @ElizaBayne

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1. Linda Belcher – Bob’s Burgers

Linda Belcher, voiced by John Roberts, is the wife of Bob (of Bob’s Burgers) and mother of Tina, Gene and Louise. She’s a character that’s enthusiastic about all of her family’s endeavors – from Tina’s capoeira lessons to Gene’s Table Setting (Er – Tablescaping) competition. Prone to bursting into song, Linda’s pep and undeniable love and support for her family puts her at #1 on our list. And seriously – if you’re not watching Bob’s Burgers, you should. It’s a highlight on Fox’s Sunday night line-up.

Best Linda Quote (From the episode “Burger Wars”): “When I die I want you to cremate me and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck’s face.”

2. Bonnie Kelly – It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Sure, Charlie might have had a questionable childhood. But his mother Bonnie, played by Lynne Marie Stewart, has always been completely impressed with her son’s (somewhat few) capabilities. When she hears rumors from the gang that Charlie might have been molested by a gym teacher in the past (which he wasn’t), she breaks down into tears and holds an intervention with the entire Kelly family to learn the truth. Her irrational fears (dogs and shopping carts, to be exact) are odd, yet insanely endearing.

Best Bonnie Quote: “ Be strong Bonnie. Be strong for your little gingerbread man. Now is not the time for an episode.”

3. Lucille Bluth – Arrested Development

Lucille at #3, and not #1? I’ve made a huge mistake.

Played by the absolutely fantastic Jessica Walter, words can’t describe Lucille Bluth. She’s conniving, pens her children against each other, a bit of a lush, and somewhat of a mastermind. Instead of a quote or a lengthier paragraph, this “Best Of” video will pretty much sum everything up.

4. Selma Bouvier – The Simpsons

Sure, the obvious choice is Marge Simpson. After all, Marge keeps her household in check, almost always has a level head, and always forgives Homer for his numerous mistakes.

However, I’m putting Selma on the list. When Selma reached a certain age where child-bearing would no longer be possible, she did everything she could to adopt a baby of her own – including listing Homer as the father, when sole-parenthood was frowned upon.

While Selma might not live up to Mom standards the way Marge does, she knew she wanted to be a mother by any means necessary – and her first interactions with baby Ling were extremely emotional and beautiful for a cartoon to express.

5. Emily Gilmore – Gilmore Girls

Being a huge Gilmore Girls fan, this list originally included Lorelai. Yet after thinking a bit, Lorelai got cut and Emily – her mother (played by the fabulous Kelly Bishop) – was added. While Lorelai is a great Mom and an amazing best friend to Rory, Emily has been supportive throughout the run of the show – even if her support seemed to be smothering or laced with evil, per Lorelai.

While Lorelai has big dreams for Rory, Emily contributed in making them possible. And when Rory dropped out of Yale, Emily gave her a safe and supportive place to live. Being that Rory (fictionally, of course) helped Obama win the 2008 election after being offered a job with the campaign, I’d say Emily was on the right track with knowing how to support her.

Best Emily Quote (From “How Many Kropogs to Cape Cod?):  ”I mean, as far as perverted phone calls go, this is a very poor one.”

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Always texting

Your text messages with your BFFs are never ending. It’s a constant stream throughout the day. From the deepest of existential thoughts, to emojis, to just statements, like “I’m bored” or “I’m hungry”.

Bringing new friends into the equation

When a bestie comes home from college and brings home their new school BFF, it can be rough! There is bound to be jealousy and marking of ones territory. But I’ve found, my BFFs have made great choices in their school friends. I have become close with my BFFs’ new peeps and they are fantastic!

Call Me Maybe

A BFF anthem.

Distance

Long distance friendships can be rough. I know when my BFFs were away at college out of state, I missed their antics like I was missing a limb. But when they come home, you can pick up right where you left off, as if no time has passed at all.

Eye roll

One of my favorite scenes in Bridesmaids is when, during the engagement party speech; Annie gives Lillian this eyeball look. When something ridiculous happens, someone says something idiotic, its like ESP. You and your BFF look at each other at the same time and give a wide eyed look, usually resulting in a fit of laughter.

Fro-yo

What is it about BFFs makes them love fro-yo? I know my BFFs and I do.

Goofy

Three of my BFFs and I drew faces on our chins and made a music video to Miley Cyrus’ ‘Party in the USA’. I’d like to say we were middle schoolers… but we were 20. And totally sober. Let go! Be goofy! A BFF will be right there with you, making a fool of him/herself. Strangers will look at you and think, “Those are some funny sisters!” Nope not sibs, BFFs. Sometimes even better!

Hug

Some BFFs have ESP. That’s a fact. And when they can detect that you are in desperate need of a hug, THAT’S a BFF.

I love you!

When you’re feeling blue, just know that your BFF loves you! Going through a breakup and feeling unloved? Your BFF loves you! And somehow, they always say those 3 magic words at the exact time they are needed.

Jealousy? Not here!

One BFF is never jealous of another’s success. They are happy. They want the best for each other: happiness and success.

Kindergarten or college!

A BFF can come from childhood or spark in adulthood. I have besties from all walks of life – the 22 years so far, that is. With the ones from when we were babies, we know each others families as well as our own and have seen each other grown from lil’ munchkins to lovely ladies. And there are others that I’ve made in high school or college years! But believe me, we know each other just as well as if we were babies together, and it really feels like it’s been that long! Remembering a time where they weren’t a bestie feels a tad strange, like a lifetime ago.

Lingo

You and your BFF may be having a totally comprehensive conversation, it may seem to you… but to others, the lingo that you have become accustomed is an alien language to others. Their head may be moving like watching a tennis match, just confused.

Mi casa es tu casa

My house is your house. Yes a common phrase, but when it comes to a BFF, it applies to no one more. When a BFF walks into your house or you into theirs, first comes the fridge raid, then the plopping down on the couch or crawling into your bed. It doesn’t matter if you’re home or out, awake or asleep. The pop-in is a BFF lifestyle.

No embarrassment

When with a BFF, there is no reason to ever be embarrassed. They know your inner goofball and weirdo. Trip over your own feet? Make a faux pas? They will laugh along with you, not at you.

Opposites attract

I totally believe opposites attract. Having a BFF can be a yin and yang situation or a “they are me!” situation. I’ve always felt like people need what they don’t have in the people they surround themselves with. Healthy debates, opening your eyes to new things and even not totally understanding you sometimes is a perk of having someone different in your life.

Party time!

You know you’re looking at a set or group of BFFs when they walk into a party and are having way more fun than the party actually is. All they need is each other to have a bash!

Queen for the day

You know when your BFF needs to get out of a rut of a breakup or its their birthday, you treat them like a queen – they’d do the same for you! This usually includes a tiara, but it’s not necessary.

Roomies that DON’T want to kill each other

Living with someone can be seriously tough. Spending that much time with another person and NOT wanting to kill them? That’s quite a feat. But when you live with your BFF, you get each others antics, habits and flaws… and they seem to just disappear.

Silence

No, not the silent treatment. Even though conversations with your BFF can go on forever (there are endless things to talk about), the amazing thing about a BFF is there can be silence without awkward pauses. Tanning, manicuring, whatever – there doesn’t need to be constant chatter. Enjoy the silence with a buddy.

Time?

It may be 4am, but when you call a BFF in crisis, they stop what they are doing to help and console. Whether it is a breakup, panic attack or just something funny happened, when it comes to a BFF, the hour of the day is of no concern.

Under no circumstances are you to see him again!

Might sound like a parent, but its just a BFF lookin’ out for you! A BFF can tell from the outside if a potential BF isn’t fitting the bill. I can’t tell you how many times my BFFs have told me “he is awful” or I’ve told them “kick him to the curb”. They got your back and will not stand to see you mistreated or walked all over.

Vanity

When going to see a BFF, vanity is not something that comes to mind. Braless, clad in sweats and zero makeup? Totally acceptable. They don’t care and neither do you!

Wardrobe

A BFF will tell you how you look, truthfully! But because they are your BFF, you know it’s not to be mean, it’s so you don’t leave the house looking like a bag lady, child or clown. They are looking out for you!

XY Chromosome

Having a male BFF is great! It gives you a different perspective on things. My guy BFFs have taught me to be a die-hard Lakers fan. I thank them for it.

You trash talkin’ my BFF?

No BFF will stand for someone talking about his or her bestie. EVER! Maybe you’ve caught someone trash talking about your BFF… and you’ve taken them down!

Zero doubt

Sometimes we doubt whether a friendship is healthy for us. When it comes to a BFF, that doubt doesn’t exist. They keep you sane, they act as therapist, sibling, workout/manicure buddy and so much more.

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Do you remember high school projects? Middle School? Elementary? When your teacher would claim to be grading you on the quality of your information and intelligence, but would really be grading you on your glue stick aptitude? It stank.

In retrospect, the ability to make a pretty tri-fold board never really became helpful in ‘real life,’ as much as, say, learning how to balance a checkbook or be careful with debt management would’ve been.

My school projects were always terrible because I never respected the whole concept of making your information look pretty, valuing the quality of the information instead, but my projects were never as bad as the ones in this here slide show. I have a strong feeling that some of these science fair projects are fake, but whatever science is probably fake anyway, evolution’s just a theory, right? Check out this slideshow and have a laugh.

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