“It’s just like… why can’t my job be just looking at stuff on the internet?”-@ErinMalloryLong

Girls tend to be pretty loyal to their lip balm/chapstick/lip gloss of choice. I’ve always used these little tins of Vaseline that…

“I may be just a lowly teacher, but for 10 minutes everyday when I blow dry my hair, I am the hot…

You see how that glamourous model is hanging onto that bottle of perfume? Well, that’s how I feel about Chanel’s Chance, only…

“I still don’t see why ‘It’s raining’ isn’t a good reason to skip work.”- @Paxocha

“Dear Sleep, I’m sorry I hated you when I was little, but now I can’t get enough of you! Sincerely, Me”-@BookOfComedy

Have you ever eaten something so good, it spontaneously caused you to break into song before, after, and during the actual consumption…

“Waitress: ‘Do u have any questions about the menu?’    Me: ‘What kind of font is this?’ “-@RainnWilson