“I thought I looked okay today. Until I put my glasses on and could actually see myself.”-@Sarahdactyle

“Just tried to read a text message from upside down. Couldn’t, caved and moved with a sigh to read it. Ugh. Lost…

“I’ve been watching Law & Order for 7 hours straight. I’m never sleeping again.”-@HelloItsJoanne

“Just once, I’d like my armpits to look as smooth and hair-free as women in movies.”-@molly_kats

Okay, you guys. This book is about Boo, the world’s CUTEST dog. I don’t even know why I should try to convince…

“The hardest part about working on your birthday is constantly having to find ways to bring it up in every conversation.” -@t_ricks96

“If I could marry this avocado, I would.” -@MsBossyNopants

“I turn into a professional juggler whenever I’m about to drop my phone.” -@TommyKarate