I hope Twitter is prepared for the barrage of cat pictures I will post when I get home tonight. -@EmilyClegg

“Every time my landline phone rings, I know it’s someone that isn’t going to get their call answered.” -@IndieClaws

“Sometimes I just scream ‘why don’t you love’ at my phone. #RelationshipMaterial.”-@Ajklopotoski

“Not a fan of corduroy actually. I already know my thighs rub together. I don’t need to hear it when I walk.”-@Mabarrow

Prince wrote “Manic Monday” for The Bangles because he had a crush on Susanna Hoffs. One time, a guy gave me a…

“If I wanted my food served to me by a scantily clad woman, I’d just stay home and cook dinner for myself…

“Foodie tip: Burritos taste better when you’re alone sans the side of judgement.” -@Torrehealy

“Eating yogurt in workout clothes makes me feel less guilty.”- @Eekhorngodintje