Carrie Bradshaw, Sacrifices, and One Sided Relationships

Do you remember the Sex and the City episode when Carrie packs her Louboutins and vintage Chanel and moves to Paris to be with Whatshisfaceartgalleryguy? She gets to Paris to find him canoodling in a “saloon” with a young hot thing that she soon learns is his daughter, Chloe (hello awkward?). Carrie leaves them to their father-daughter bonding while Whatshisfaceartgalleryguy promises to meet her later for dinner – a dinner that he never showed up to. The episode continues this way with Carrie all alone in the foreign city of love, with high hopes of a beautiful romance, only to constantly be let down. Towards the end of the episode, Carrie takes a walk and steps in a pile of poop. Yes, poop. I’m not sure what animal produced it; that part wasn’t clear, but it was definitely poop. So, here she is, Carrie Bradshaw: a smart, stylish, and talented woman who has been so blessed to afford the luxury of a designer wardrobe, move to Paris to be with her man and prance around town in white Louboutins, only to step in poop. This would happen… to me, at least.

In the next episode, Carrie gives up an important event that she was expected to attend to accompany Whatshisfaceartgalleryguy at a big deal exhibit opening. They get there, and what does that fool do? He ignores her all night. I felt so stupid watching this going down. It brought back pathetic memories of the times that I lost myself in some guy’s life. You know, you date and you do things together, mostly things he wants to do, and with his friends. You’re okay with it, because you LOOOOVVEE him so much. Before you know it, you’re cleaning poop off your brand new Jessica Simpson pumps because you can’t afford Loubs even if they are 75% off, and missing your best friends birthday party while this guy has all the fun. Sacrifices. One-sided relationships. Haven’t we all had at least one?

At the end of the episode, Carrie confronts Whatshisfaceartgalleryguy about how her life has basically sucked since she moved to Paris and right after he smacks her (he did for real), he says, “I thought I was clear about what I wanted.” The point is, maybe he didn’t tell her that he wasn’t in the business of falling in love, but his actions spoke volumes above any words he may have possibly uttered. His actions were clear as day. We all know Carrie was put on the earth to find love. So, being who she is, why would she stay with someone who has made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t want love?

Sometimes the love of love makes us completely delusional. We hear what we want, we hold on to “what if”s and “maybe”s and to the desperate belief that we may change a man and his desires. The sad part is, we know deep down that we are forcing a relationship, trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, and it’s only a matter of time before reality hits you like a ton of bricks. My question is, when we know someone isn’t right for us, yet we love the way they make us feel, even temporarily, do we walk away and avoid heartache? Or do we stick around for the sake of a good time, and because maybe, just maybe, he may change his mind about us? Can we get a Single Girls Guide, pretty please, Erin?

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