This week a friend of mine has been given an impossible task. She must find a way to say goodbye to her mom. She’s 28.
To say this is unfair is an understatement. Though I’ve never met her mom, I know my friend well enough to know her mom is pretty amazing. She’s known this time was coming, but when the doctors says “days or weeks,” it all feels different. Thinking about her this week, I’ve also thought about my “mom” (my Mom’s best friend who was like a second mom to me) that I had to say goodbye to a few years ago in the same way. Over the years I’ve thought about the loss I suffered, the loss my friend will now suffer, in different ways. I’ve been sad, confused, numb and every other stage of grief listed in the books I’ve read. Mostly though, and especially this week, I’ve been angry. And, oddly enough, thankful.
I’m angry because we need moms. Losing a friend or family member, no matter when or how, is awful. But losing your mom? There’s just no sense to it – 28-year-olds should be able to have their mom and anytime it doesn’t work out exactly like that just isn’t fair. That’s all there is to it. Yet I find myself in a different situation. I lost my “mom” but I didn’t lose my mom and I’m smart enough to know exactly how lucky I am to still have at least one of them.
My mom is amazing. Right now you’re thinking, no, MY mom is amazing. That’s what’s awesome about moms. We all think our own is amazing. Because they are.
So today, no matter where you are, no matter what you’re doing, make sure you call your mom. Call your Grandma. Call your best friend’s mom that lets you call her Mom. Call your dad that had to be both a mom and a dad. Call your mom’s best friend that’s like a mom to you. Call the person that means the most to you in the world. The one that’s been there for everything and wouldn’t walk away for anything. You only get so many of those phone calls.
Maybe after that call, you could head over to StandUp2Cancer.org so that one day no one has to say goodbye to their mom (or anyone else) because of this awful, senseless, absolute jerk of a disease.
You can read more from Kim Moffat on her blog.