I’ve always wanted to be royalty.
I mean, sure, I believe in equal rights for all, which means no one is legally better than anyone else, and therefore no one can rule over another person. However, I just think it would be so much fun to live in a castle.
The thing is you don’t actually have to be royalty to live in a castle. There are castles all over the world that are up for sale. Thousands of years ago, armies would load up all of their most fearsome warriors into ships to storm castles and conquer lands. Now, you can just do a simple google search and find the castle of your dreams!
I imagine that owning a castle is a lot like owning a car, except you don’t need your castle to take you anywhere because you’re already living in the most awesome place on Earth. Considering that one person’s awesome is another one’s awful eyesore and waste of golden chandeliers, I’ve pulled together a couple of different options for your consideration:
1) Pretty and Pink: a quaint castle in North East France, 1,880,000 Euro
If you’re into a small, modest castle in the North East of France, consider this “Folly”.
It was originally built by a rich Dutch family because they wanted a small, modest place to visit when they came to the French country. Hence, why it’s called a “folly”, because a house like this is a joke. There were originally no kitchens or baths because the idea was that the family would visit during the day and return to town in the evening (and old-fashioned people only needed to eat or go to the bathroom at night apparently). Over the years, its various owners have added two wings, a second floor and, I assume, plumbing.
That said, it is beautiful. Everything inside is pretty and pastel and gilded. So, if you’re feeling like you want a castle just to be a modest country home for the weekend, then perhaps this castle is for you!
2) Modern yet Medieval: Stratford Castle in South Africa, $365,000.000 USD
If you’re more into Arthurian Legend, but hate the idea of actually living in Europe, you could always move to Camelot.
Stratford Castle in South Africa is located on the Camelot Residential and Golf Estate. (I know. Har-har…you can live in Camelot. Har-har. I’ll stop.) The castle is also located on a golf course (which is also for sale for $500,000.00 USD), close to a game reserve and the roof top is currently being converted into a “secret garden” complete with Finnish sauna and jacuzzi room.
The entire castle is built with English cultural flourished (excepting the Finnish sauna which is from Finland). Throughout the estate you’ll find stained glass windows depicting the six wives of Henry VIII, Sir Walter Raleigh and the Tudor rose. So, again, if you suffer from Anglophilia, but never ever want to actually live in England, Stratford Castle is for you!
Also, if I read the website correctly-which I probably didn’t-the castle is approximately the same cost as the house in which I grew up in Delaware. So, that’s really cheap. Or I didn’t read the website correctly. Which one is it, internet?
3) You Can Have It All!: Montbrun Castle in France, 20,500,000.00 Euro
Montbrun Castle has it all. It’s a spacious French chateau that has been renovated over the past two thousand years to be comfortable to live in, while retaining its historic swagger. It’s got rooms for a Princess and a Queen, it’s got a conference room with a round table, sword and MacBook, it’s got a movie theater, it’s got a library that even Belle would swoon over and it has its very own ghost.
Of all the castles I’ve listed, this is the one that I would personally want. Not only would I love to live somewhere where I could pretend to be a Ghostbuster on a nightly basis, but the estate also boasts an actual bar/tavern that you can own and run as a private business. If I lived at Montbrun Castle I would truly have it all.
4) Castle Inflatable Bounce House with Slide, your backyard via Amazon.com, $269.00 USD
Look, obviously not everyone can afford to live like kings and queens and wealthy 17th century Dutch people. That doesn’t mean you still can’t buy a castle!
Amazon.com offers a wide array of outdoor bouncy castles. Splurge on one and throw a party. Make it a masqued ball or a two year old’s birthday bash. Either way, you will have a castle built for a good time!