I guess we could say that Jessica Biel is having the best year ever. After marrying Justin Timberlake, and then having him announce his new album (UM, FUH-I-NALLY) and an assumed tour, Biel has truly catapulted herself into the adult “cool crowd”. You know, it’s like the cool kids in high school, but times about three billion.
Of course, I am referring to Jay-Z and Beyoncé. Really, who else? Jay-Z and Beyoncé are the coolest people in the world, pretty much. Who else hangs out with President Barack Obama and his bad mother-shut-your-mouth of a lady friend, Michelle? And their kid’s name is BLUE IVY, which is infinitely cooler than your name, especially because she was named after their really cool rap/hip-hop/r&b albums.
I mean, let’s be real, Jay-Z is the only good part of JT’s new single “Suit and Tie“. Yes, I went there, and yes, out of the loyal-Timberlake-loving-heart-of-mine, I can have that opinion.
Based on their Grammy seating arrangements and the huge smiles of laughter spread across their faces, it seems that Bey and Biel are going to be new besties, know how I know? The ‘B’ alliteration sounds a lot cooler than what those ‘K’ alliterative “pals” of the Knowles/Carter family bring to the table.
Some great things that can come out of Beyoncé and Biel’s BFFship:
1) Biel and Timberlake‘s first born son/daughter can potentially marry Blue Ivy and they can be like the coolest couple in the world.
2) “J and B” nickname overlap. You know…like Jay (Z) and B(ey), and J(essica) and B(ey)? Is that cute, or am I stretching here?
3.) Maybe they can remake that movie Obsessed or do an Obsessed 2 with Biel as Ali Larter’s character, but this time with the added twist of best friend betrayal–everyone’s favorite kind of betrayal! And Idris Elba can come back for the sequel, because ohmygod have you ever even seen Idris Elba? I would totally betray my best friend for that man.
4.) Biel can duet with Bey on a new single, potentially with both of their husbands on it as well. The more the Mary-ier! Didn’t Mary sing on 7th Heaven? Am I making that up? I didn’t really watch the show, but I know it’s about a Christian family with a bunch of kids, so one of them must have been a singer in the church choir or something.
5.) Biel can take acting lessons from Beyoncé in general, because Bey’s performance in Dreamgirls is like a million times more moving than anything Biel has ever done.
6.) Every friendship deserves a little rivalry, and since everyone always talks about how great Biel’s backside is, Bey can show her up and maybe they will even fight over it when they have had too much wine like my friend/roommate and I always do. This is a real thing. And I am really not over it.
7.) Photo shoots? I don’t know. They’re both relatively aesthetically pleasing, so that sounds alright.
…I can’t get to ten. Help me out, guys. Best new best friends, or what?