Broke Girl's Guide to Snagging Ryan Gosling

We think it’s total BS that celebrities generally only date other celebrities.  They already get free stuff thrown at them constantly — free stuff they could afford to buy — why should they also get to procreate exclusively with other beautiful, rich, talented, and famous people?  As part of the 99% who do not get to date celebrities, we’re officially declaring this uncool and are working to create equality within the dating world. Our first order of business is to make public the Broke Girl’s Guide to Dating Ryan Gosling.  Watch yo’ back, Eva!

1.  Move to Studio City. He lives there, and everything (especially rent) is cheaper once you get over the hill — perfect for broke girls.

2.  Go Moroccan.  You may not be able to afford to eat at Ryan’s Beverly Hills restaurant Tagine, but you can audition to be the belly-dancing dinner entertainment, no?  Make money while you stalk!  If that doesn’t work, find “Crazy Robertson” and see if you can take up dancing with him in front of the restaurant — Ryan will notice you eventually, even if it’s just to give you $1.

3.  Take a hike.  Bring a recently-adopted, impossible-to-resist puppy to Griffith Park or Runyon Canyon and do the leash tangle with Ryan’s dog George.  If Eva’s with him, “accidentally” push her off the mountain. (We kid!)

4. Get enchanted.  Ryan really likes to spend time at places like Disneyland and The Magic Castle. You can’t afford to do that, but you can afford to do some of these other whimsical things. There’s no guarantee he’ll ever show up at any of these places, but at least it will give you something to talk about while pretending to untangle those leashes at Runyon.

5. Jazz it up.  We get it: Django Reinhardt probably isn’t playing on your iPod and you might very well think “Bitches Brew” is some drink they serve on Sunset. But if you’re serious about getting with Gosling, it’s in your best interest to start appreciating jazz.  You could learn to play jazz guitar for relatively little expense. Or, you could just frequent jazz nights around town — the newest being Wednesdays at Maison 140 in Beverly Hills.

Now, go forth and occupy Ryan Gosling’s date book. Good luck!

  • Sarah Armstrong

    Love it :)

  • Elizabeth Brenner

    Guys… Dead Man’s Bones is nor a jazz band.

  • Yajaira Nuribeth Calderon

    I thought about this, and I have decided that, as much as I love Ryan and have already picked out names for our unborn children, I would not like to date him. I imagine it would just be incredibly stressful for me. “Am I good enough for Ryan? Is that skank drooling over my man? That onscreen kiss looked too read? etc. etc.” are all the typed of questions that would inevitably lead to constipation for me, and I think it would just be better for everyone involved if I avoided that. Which should be good news for everyone else not involved because our kids would be so freaking awesome!

  • Alison Wotton

    I’m a big fan of Hello Giggles + Broke Girl’s Guide + Ryan Gosling.. so this article is basically the perfect combination.

  • Mariana Martinez

    Why would someone give a belly dancer dollar bills as though they were exotic dancers? The two are very different, please don’t promote stereotypes…

  • Erin Bunch

    Hey! We weren’t implying that the dollar bill would go to the belly dancer! We were making the joke that dancing outside the restaurant with Crazy Robertson (see link) might earn you a $1.

  • Kelly Marie

    Hahahaha, love this! Please write guides for dating celebrities. Jake Gyllenhaal, perhaps?

  • Iris Casarez

    Lol enjoyed reading this and it could happen I mean look at matt damon and his wife. For girls out there wanting/dreaming with ryan gosling keep hope alive! (though not to be a hater id rather ryan gosling have dated carrie.mulligan since I love her work)

  • Grape Friend
  • Fatima Morais Soares

    actually am going to a Jazz show tonight (in Portugal) wonder if I’ll run into him…(better dress to impress) lol

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