Comments on: Breast-in-Show: Words from A Feminist Who Doesn’t Want The Freedom To Bare It All

By: Bonnie Joy Sludikoff

Bonnie Joy Sludikoff — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 22:36:57 +0000

Thanks, I appreciate that a lot. I get more upset by Snidey McsSnideypantses more than I maybe should, but on the other hand, I usually feel compelled to engage in conversation, even through their name calling and lack of tact, because if you turn one Snidey Grinch into a believer, they will tell the masses. One of my friends looked at all this hubbub and said wow, well…you know, with the anonymity people feel on the internet, that can happen… but on the other hand I am on WAY better behavior with what I say online, because this is in print now and anyone can “accurately” quote me. The internet is a funny place, but thank you for your open-minded read, and to the others who also said kind things, or who were able to disagree but in a respectful manner. I really think that half of our battle as women who want to make the world a better place for women, is to be nice to each other. It’s not rocket science.

By: Bonnie Joy Sludikoff

Bonnie Joy Sludikoff — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 22:33:03 +0000

Yes, i think you’re right- a LOT of comments really seemed angry about the “not allowed” idea– in spite of me not ever saying that. but arguing points against this, I can see how people might interpret it that way. I dont like to be told not to do things either.

By: Amber Smith

Amber Smith — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 08:37:10 +0000

You’re a smart girl and unlike some, can see the big picture and not just one slice of it. Yes, ideally, it wouldn’t be a problem. But in our society, it is.

Common sense tells us that and just allowing women to go topless isn’t going to change conceptions. Because as pointed out, where it is already allowed… hardly anybody does it and it is seen as shocking when they do. Literally the only way it would even have a slight impact is if it was mandatory to go topless. Then I think it would only desensitize future generations. It’s not going to change anything for anybody over the age of 2 or 3 right now. It’s too deeply ingrained in our culture.

Not to mention, you’re completely right about the biological differences.

Also, I hardly think any of these ladies would like to see their daughters complain that some classmate touched them in a way that they and you and anybody with half a brain would call inappropriate… but the administration can no longer do anything greater than a slap on the wrist because by law it’s no longer seen as something sexual. Even when it totally is.

I intended to write a two-sentence response, but I couldn’t help myself because I simply don’t understand why people ignore valid points or even agree but dismiss them because of their own personal opinions. Thank you for actually taking a practical stance. It took some backbone to do it a such a public place and even if we don’t all agree, I think you deserve kudos for that. Even if there are a couple Snidey McSnideypantses out there who won’t admit it.

By: Bonnie Joy Sludikoff

Bonnie Joy Sludikoff — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 02:44:12 +0000

well, i respect your point of view. I fervently believe the opposite. Womens breasts are not the same. A lot of research supports that- but like any topic, there are people arguing both sides. But personally, as someone who has had to report sexual violence before, and, through my non-profit, speaks with a lot of women who’ve been assaulted, I hate the idea of it being any harder to prosecute. Law enforcement is laughable already on this issue. If we add new clauses about how certain parts of a womans body are less sexual..I just think that’s a nutty idea, and I think the people who wrote the bill are doing women a huge disservice.

By: Bonnie Joy Sludikoff

Bonnie Joy Sludikoff — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 02:41:19 +0000

Yes, I understand your point of view. While I am not a huge believe in toplessness being the most productive social change, I am not arguing against that– a few of my points were lighter and I don’t need to do a big recap, but the one I think a lot of people are missing, because they are bringing up terms like “rape culture” is this. I’m not arguing “we shouldnt have the freedom to be topless”—

I am arguing that: The bill that people are trying to pass states that the reason we should be free to be topless is that “female breasts are the same as a male’s chest.” if they want to make the bill reflect reality, that’s cool. BUT if we allow a law to pass that says that, it IS problematic and detrimental to us ending rape culture. the consequence is Almost certainly that when girls report sexual violence in regards to men touching their breasts without consent, it can be argued that the breasts are not a sexual body part. That is the statement of this very real law people are trying to pass. “breasts are not sexual.” I am putting two and two together.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, but I think it’s silly to ignore this. Yes, women should be equal, but we have to be realistic and realize we are going to suffer in court if we do not protect the wording of the laws that we allow to become a reality.

By: Sonya BookWyrm

Sonya BookWyrm — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 21:52:50 +0000

I do see what u r saying here but I have had my arm groped and massaged in a very sexual way and no one thinks my arm is a sexual zone. Men’s breasts can give milk like a woman’s breast did u know that? Women’s breasts r not any more sexual than mens, they r more usually functional tho. I know women who’s breast r not sensitive and men’s breasts that r.

By: Sonya BookWyrm

Sonya BookWyrm — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 21:40:47 +0000

I think that u failed to read my comment then re neck, ankles, etc and how they were once seen as enticement to men. There was an article done several yrs ago about how if a woman was wearing a dress and a man put his hand on her knee it was sexual but if it was a casual day at the beach and she was wearing a bikini and he put his hand on her knee it was not sexual. What I am trying to say is that just because boobs r perceived as a certain way today the perception won’t change if we don’t make them change. I think Michael Jackson did a song about that so did Phil Collins I think. We have to fight for the change and change the perceptions. I personally think a man’s chest is sexual and sexy to look at and touch. I don’t go up and touch men’s chests tho yes women’s chests r different but we should still b able to go out just like men. The rape culture needs to change. Which means men need to start owning themselves and women need to start making them. This is about choice. I don’t want to go around topless, I’m old and ugly and I like clothes, butbthose who do should b allowed to.

By: Cassie Woodall

Cassie Woodall — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 21:26:56 +0000

Wow, the responses on this article are pretty intense.
I have to say, I totally agree with what you wrote! And, I honestly don’t understand women wanting to walk around topless. Personally, I always have a bra on, I sleep in one, that’s just what’s comfortable for me.
But really ladies, do we actually want to live in a place where women are allowed to walk around with it all hanging out? Say what you will, but a woman’s chest is not the same as a man’s. I feel like the only reason this is even an argument is because the only way to say it is to use the term ‘not allowed’ and that makes people uncomfortable.

The sexual aspect of our society is high enough, and engraved in our kids at quite a young enough age, that I really don’t think having to explain to my four year old why that woman doesn’t have a shirt on, is not something I should have to do, at least not while I’m at the grocery store!