Didn’t we get our gender issues squared away 40 years ago? I mean true gender equality wasn’t quite there yet, but Virginia Slims assured us that we had come a long way. Women got the vote. Women joined the work force. Women could get abortions if deemed necessary. Women burned their bras. Men stopped holding the doors and started crying in front of us. Progress!
So…what’s the deal now? Is this purely politics as usual and a hyperactive 24-hour news cycle? Are we going to see scads of women fleeing the U.S. for fear that a gyno Gestapo will probe all uteri for pre-aborted fetuses? How exactly does the female reproductive system factor into today’s economy?
I am not looking forward to the eventual discourse we’re all going to have to participate in involving lady parts and menstrual cycles and whatnot. It’s clearly a discussion that needs to take place to get things sorted once and for all. But I’m not here to rant about my “lady troubles”. Personally, I don’t feel that my uterus is in any immediate danger. However, one thing does worry me in this “War on Women”: the modern brassiere.
What’s with bras today? All of the bras in Victoria’s Secret feel like lies. Padded lace and satin lies. Racks upon racks of perfected rounded molded cups. Lingerie that serves up generic sex. Promises of impossible cleavage and disappointed boyfriends. Breasts are like snowflakes. No two sets are identical. So why are we continuing to allow our foundation garments to jam us into an unnatural-yet-universally accepted shape? And what new kinds of pollution will we create if we burn these padded contraptions?
We do have an alternative now in the Genie Bra. These bra infomercials are the worst. In traditional infomercial fashion, viewers are treated to all the different products that are just no good. Some team had to brainstorm ideas on all the different ways to make ladies’ torsos look unattractive. Look at how awful these old-fashioned brassieres are! Back fat! Unsightly cleavage! Flimsy shoulder straps! Nip slips! Supposedly the Genie Bra is the only bra we’ll ever need again. It comes in one style but purportedly provides ample support and coverage to any and all bosoms. Basically it’s a sports bra but even less sexy. It is the granny panties of brassieres. It looks comfortable. It probably is comfortable. But Crocs were comfortable and look how well they’ve got on.
Look, I’m sure that design and mass production of a product so widely in demand for such unpredictable consumer needs and tastes must be a challenge. If you can’t fit your product to your audience, then fit your audience to your product. And so we fight internal battles and wrestle with unnecessary insecurity issues because our boobs don’t look like Barbie’s. We get sexualized in non-threatening ways for mating purposes. We get desexualized in the name of comfort. We get chastised for not putting out. We get chastised for seemingly putting out too much. We’re sluts, whores, prudes, feminists, and bitches. And the vast majority of us are just sitting in our pajamas watching marathons of popular television shows we may or may not have watched several times over. The menfolk are fighting our battles for (and against) us. Who said chivalry was dead?
What’s my point? Perhaps men and women are not quite as equal as we’d imagined? That men have always been intimidated of women and seek out every opportunity available to undercut women’s power and influence? That cigarette companies are not great indicators of societal evolution?
We already fought the reproductive battles. Abortion and birth control aren’t going to magically disappear because someone remembered that they disapprove. It’s time to move forward. It’s time to invent a memory foam bra. Because if we don’t, the terrorists will win the Civil War and Lincoln will have never been born.
You can read more from Katharine Miller on her blog.
Feature image via Jen Vargas.
Just to let you know, not all Victoria’s Secret bras are super duper padded. Showstopper, Sweetheart, and Heartbreaker lightly lined have no padding. Not only that, but almost all bras have a no padding option now like, Very Sexy and Dream Angels. I wear between a 32 DD and a 34 D and I am always able to find non padded bras I LOVE.
“We already fought the reproductive battles. Abortion and birth control aren’t going to magically disappear because someone remembered that they disapprove.”
I think you’ll find that those battles are still being fought and many people are continuing to lose access to abortion and birth control because people do disapprove of a women’s right to choose. How did that statement even make it into the article? Unless it’s sarcasm, but I didn’t really read it as such..
Victoria’s Secret is such BS. It takes forever to find something that doesn’t have *at least* 2 inches of padding! And every time I’ve been sized there (3 times) they tell me I’m a 32 C… I barely fill a B cup anywhere else. It’s the opposite of the usual vanity sizing, the company assumes we all want bigger breasts. Pffft please, who are we kidding VS?! I’m not going to drop more money because you informed me that I have bigger breasts than I originally thought. I’m fine not living in denial and am totally content with my b-cups, no matter what VS’s marketing wants me to feel.
I totally agree with this, especially since I find it difficult to buy bras unless it’s when I’m feeding my habit for pretty underthings from my favourite local lingerie store (which is also online at http://www.dirtyprettythings.com.au). To be honest, all the money I spend there is well worth it because no homogenous department-store-bought bra can match up to the comfort and sex appeal that is the delightful collections of Mimi Holliday, Chantel Thomass and Fifi Chachnil!
bras ARE the worst. i feel for the big chested ladies out there looking for quality & comfortable support, but being a small chested individual has it’s hurdles too. i don’t need a push up bra because there is nothing to push up, nor is there anything to pull up – nothing but my skin – ouch. in fact i’m pretty sure most push up bras have more volume than my actual boobs. i just want a simple bra to give my mosquito bites a modicum of shapeliness and prevent my nipples from showing through my shirt. that’s probably the only reason i wear a bra – nipping out is not cute imo.
Push-up bras probably have more volume than my boobs, too. I tried push-ups when I first hit puberty and I was feeling insecure about my lady bumps. Alas, they grew no more and I decided that padding them up looked silly. Now, my problem is the ever common issue of finding a proper fit. There’s usually a gap between me and the said “support,” but no smaller size exists. That is, until I sneak my way to the little girl bra section and discover that a 32A over there is not the same as a 32A in grown-up world. Now, to find a bra without kittens and butterflies all over it…
“It’s time to invent a memory foam bra. Because if we don’t, the terrorists will win the Civil War and Lincoln will have never been born.” Lmao! You are amazing. Thank you for that. I HATE bra shopping. Hate, hate, hate. I would like someone to invent a memory foam bra that supports and doesn’t have straps at all, so I can wear whatever shirt/dress I want without worrying about it poking out. That would be great. And defy the laws of gravity. But you know, whatever. This is the 21st century, right?
I hate Victoria’s Secret. I don’t like the styles of bras they carry, I don’t like the way they fit (hoisting tits up to chin yet somehow not providing support?) and I don’t like that walking into the store is like walking into a Maxim catalogue. Not that I ever have to walk into one, because they don’t carry band sizes smaller than a 34. Sucks for those of us hit with the small ribcage stick.
Calvin Klein is my jam. I won’t let any other brand caress my lady lumps. Their bras always look good, feel awesome and provide enough support and sexiness to make me very, very happy. You can get them at Macy’s and the sizing is very consistent, so afterwards you can buy them online & save some dollaz.
The worst part about Victoria’s Secret is that they assume that EVERYONE wants bigger boobs. My boobs are big enough on their own! All I want is slight padding so you can’t tell when I’m cold, and full support. VS has one or two bras that fit my needs and it’s SO frustrating.
Seriously!!! I don’t want the push-up option, my boobs are already land masses. If I have a push up, they’ll push out.
Oh gosh, this is exactly how I feel!
I always check out the sale section in Nordstrom for bras. The european brands are life savers and they don’t vanity size so you can pretty much assume that once you know your proper bra size you can order online without a fit issue. If you splurge on a couple higher end bra’s and take good care of them (ie. never machine washing or drying, rotating daily so they retain shape) then they will last so much longer than VS which often look a lot cuter on the hanger than on my actual body.
I too am a die hard Vicky’s patron. They discontinue my styles, but always manage to take it up a notch and come out with something superior eventually. They cost too much, but if you take care of them, they do last a few years!
I’ve sworn by Victoria secret since I hit DD cups in the 9th grade, they’re comfortable, last much longer than bras, and honestly they have way more options than other stores for us “heavy chested” ladies. Try finding a DD good quality bra at Target or Macy’s that doesn’t look like it belongs to a grandmother. But that’s just me, I also think guys who open doors are awesome, much cooler than fellas that let it slam in my face while I’m holding things. Maybe I’m old fashioned
I agree, that genie bra IS vile. But my Victoria’s Secret bras have seriously done me good. It even got me out of a ticket yesterday. my MAIN ISSUE with bras is once I find one I LOVE,they discontinue it (Player bra,I’m talking to you Vicky!).