Nothing shaped my idea of what it means to be rich more than the movie Blank Check (which came out this month in 1994). This is the very plausible movie where a child, Preston Waters, receives a blank check from a felon and cashes it in for a million dollars. The movie is a celebration of gluttony, similar to The Wolf of Wall Street, but minus the chemical dependency. In fact, you could make a compelling argument that DiCaprio’s Jordan Belfort is who Preston Waters grew up to be. Preston, a.k.a. “Macintosh,” blows one million dollars in six days like an absolute materialistic madman. But he makes it look so fun that I can’t help it if I still daydream about his charmed life, even as a 28-year-old grown-ass woman. Here’s everything Preston is able to buy that I covet:
A suburban castle.
This is not just any castle. This is an Indiana suburban castle that Preston happens to live down the street from. Owning a suburban castle gives you the best of both worlds. You have the drama of existing inside a Meatloaf music video combined with the comfort of living on a quiet, tree-lined street. You can brood inside or you can go out for a stroll to clear your head. And at Halloween, you can scare the crap out of the neighborhood kids when they come sniffing around for candy.
The ability to rollerblade through a department store.
In one particularly jerk-ish move, Preston and his limo driver rollerblade through a department store while a team of sales people chase after them. But they’re not chasing after them in anger—they are simply trailing behind to catch whatever items Preston wants to purchase. It’s unclear if the rollerblades were from another store or if he’s really pushing his luck on the “try before you buy” policy. Either way, how little he cares is enviable.
Buckets filled with ice cream.
We all saw Macaulay Culkin eat a disgustingly large ice cream sundae in Home Alone and were super jealous. But in Blank Check, Preston takes it an excessive step further, by exclusively eating ice cream from buckets. Like the kind you’d find at a construction site filled with cement or rubble. He’s literally eating his weight in ice cream. From the back of a limo. Like a boss.