Look, I love my friends, but there are some best gal pals out there that make you think, “Damn, I wish we were BFFs.” Then you realize that they’re not real and your heart drops. Well, pick that heart back up and shove it in your mouth because here’s a list of best fictional gal pals that you can hang out with any time as long as you have no sense of reality. Look, a giant ant in a top hat!
10. Hermione Granger, Harry Potterseries. Hey have you guys heard about this book series called Harry Potter?
9. Veronica Mars, Veronica Mars. Everyone told me, “Hey, watch this show called Veronica Mars” and I said, “Hey, I’m eating a sandwich.” Turns out every time someone asked me to check it out, I was busy eating a sandwich! Then it went off the air. Veronica Mars is one of the coolest smartest girls on a cancelled television series ever! Put down that sandwich and watch this show.
"Sorry I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy."
8. Marion Ravenwood, Raiders of the Lost Ark.Clearly she would be an awesome drinking buddy. She’s fearless and is good at both running and hiding. She’s just really cool and has great taste in shirts. She’s the college roommate you wish you had.
She's Indiana Jonesin for some FUN!
7. Sookie Stackhouse, True Blood. How many times has this girl almost died for her friends? Seven? Twenty-six? Every episode since season one? And they don’t give her so much as a howdy-do; they just do something stupid all over again and wait for her to fix it. She’s a part-time waitress, you guys. Do you think she can afford to take off work to save you from the vampire uprising? Yet she always does.
"Oh my God I just realized I have an Oscar."
6. Dt. Olivia Benson, Law & Order: SVU. Loyalty is a big deal to Olivia Benson. Her partner Stabler would do stupid stuff like harass suspects and dive into traffic waving a gun and shouting like Sean Penn on his days off and Benson would still protect him and cover for him and tell the chief that he was in the right. Then she would go home and have a glass of wine and do it all over again. She’s a lover and a fighter and she wears eyeliner like no one’s business.
5. Janis Ian, Mean Girls. If you’re her friend, you’ve got a friend for life; if you cross her, oh guuuurrrrl. For the love of God, go to her art show!
4. Dionne Davenport, Clueless. So, I love Cher, but props need to be given to Dee. She was so devoted to Cher and was always there to help her makeover the new girl or go shopping or wear matching outfits. She won’t let you give her any guff but she’ll support you. Don’t make fun of her hats.
"Paul Rudd winds up with the best career??"
3. All of the golden girls, The Golden Girls. Thank you for being a friend? No, thank you.
Oh those girls! Always being golden and stuff.
2. Samantha Parkington, The American Girls. So she’s a doll, so what? Her wardrobe is better than yours, her uncle is cooler than yours (I mean not mine, mine talks to dead people and lives in Silverlake), her furniture is cuter than yours and her bangs are more even. Look at her dress, it’s got a drop waist. A drop waist. Yes, she’s also a character in a book but I didn’t read it. I read one Felicity book and I thought, Oh, I get it now, they’re historical. And it was enough.
"Sometimes I make it hard for you to sleep at night."
1. Claudia Kishi, The Baby-sitters Club. Let’s be real, Claudia was the best. Her style was on par with Clarissa Darling’s and she was always the first to volunteer for Kristy’s lackluster ideas that always seemed to involve fundraising. How much money did their club need, really? Baffling. Everything about Claudia is endearing, from her mother who just can’t love her enough, to her adorable misspelling of nearly every word that exists. Ironically, I originally misspelled “misspelling.” Love you, Claud.
"What's a fire and why does it...what's the word...BURN?"
In conclusion, I think it’s clear I need to read more.