Last week I posted a list of “Best Fictional Bands of All Time” that was met with delight, confusion and ire. These lists are only my humble opinion. If your band isn’t on here it’s because they totally, totally suck (kidding). I urge you to make your own list! And no, The Rutles still aren’t on here! MWUAHAHAHA!
10. Mumblin’ Jim, Psych-Out.
“Mumblin what?” you’re probably asking. Look, my penchant for obscure ’60s & ’70s movies knows no bounds. NO BOUNDS, JERRY! This is a fantastic hippie movie in which Jack Nicholson plays a character named Stoney (subtle) and is lead guitarist in said band. Here’s the best part: he doesn’t even try to pretend to play the guitar. He just stands there, holding the guitar, swaying back and forth. His hands are on the strings but that’s it. He’s just holding a guitar, swaying. Which is totally how Eric Clapton does it, and all the greats.
Great quote: “C’mon, man! Warren’s freakin’ out at the gallery!” – Stoney
Key song: Whatever Jack Nicholson was miming to.
9. Mitch and Mickey, A Mighty Wind.
A Mighty Wind is another genius fake band brought to you by Christopher Guest. There are three great fake bands in this film but I chose this one because it’s just the perfect send-up of ’60s folk bands. The way that Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara play off each other is just pure ~~movie magic~~.
Great quote: “Seeing these long lines of fans who want nothing more than to have you sign an autograph, it’s like it’s 1968… Or ’67… Or ’66.” – Mitch
Key Song: ‘Kiss At The end Of The Rainbow’
8. Mystik Spiral, Daria.
So let’s be honest, this band is on here because of Trent. Every girl’s cartoon crush. Enough said. No, wait, here’s the headshot of the guy who voiced Trent:
7. The Weird Sisters, Harry Potter and the blah blah blah long title.
This is on here because of Jarvis Cocker, who played the lead singer Myron Wagtail. AND YES, I REALIZE THEY WERE IN THE BOOK FIRST so don’t yell at me through the Internet. I just loved the way the band came together in the movie. It wasn’t at all what I pictured but I dig it.
Great quote: ”Alright Hogwarts, are ready for some real music? Come on, I wanna see your hands in the air! You’re looking good. We are gonna teach you a brand new dance tonight. Are you ready? ARE YOU REEAAADY??!!!” – Myron
Key song: ‘This Is The Night’
6. Dr. Funke’s 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution, Arrested Development.
I nominate Tobias Funke, analrapist/actor, for best character on Arrested Development. His complete innocence and obliviousness always brings the giggles. This band was a perfect take on all those 60′s/70′s shows about family bands. Of which I can only think of two. But still.
Tobias: There’s no “I” in Teamocil, at least not where you’d think. So together let’s make a choice…
Wife of GOB: And for once we’ll be in sync…
Wife of GOB: I never thought I knew you well…
Wife of GOB: But now I think we really gel…
George Michael: Teamocil is no longer available. Please try either Groupug, Bondat or consult your own Wellness Guide. [woodblock]
Tobias: You’re out of the band.
Key song: Yup, you guessed it: ‘Teamocil’.
5. Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, The Muppet Show.
Say it with me: “AAANNNIIIMMAAAAAAL!!!” This is the ultimate rock and roll band. It doesn’t matter that they’re made of felt, THEY ROCK HARDER THAN ANY FLESH AND BLOOD BAND. And have one of the best names ever. I would totally see these guys in concert. Let’s start a Facebook campaign and make it happen. I cannot think of a better way to spend my time.
Great quote: “Boy, it’ll be so fine and laid-back and mellow and profitable.” – Not sure who said this but that’s one smart muppet.
Key song: Their cover of Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’
4. Flight of the Conchords, Flight of the Conchords.
This one is confusing because Flight of the Conchords is a real band that’s a fake band that’s a real band. They play an altered version of themselves on the show (kind of like what Larry David does on Curb Your Enthusiasm) in which their helpless manager, Murray, books them terrible gigs like performing in an elevator. Thinking about it too much will I N C E P T I O N you.
Great quote: “Sandwich! Sandwich on my face!” – Jemaine, after Bret throws a sandwich at him.
Key song: ‘Carol Brown’
3. Dudez A Plenti, Late Night with Conan O’Brien.
For those of you who missed this sketch in the ’00s, this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. You can buy this clip on iTunes which is your only option to see it because every time someone posts it on YouTube it gets taken down. Trust me, it’s worth it. During the boy band craze, Conan decides to start his own and manage it. He holds auditions, finds the band and makes up choreography. Then he gets crazy intense and shouts at them. He rewards them with crackers when they do something right.
Great quote: I have to paraphrase this because my iTunes decided to be a jerk and not play the video. It goes something like this:
Conan, pointing to a photo of A.J. from the Backstreet Boys: “See this? This guy has a cane. He doesn’t need a cane. It’s a vanity cane. I’m going to do one better. I’m going to put one of you on a vanity respirator.”
Key song: ‘Baby.’ Sample lyric: “Baby. I wish you were my baby/I’ll make you make a baby.”
2. The Wonders, That Thing You Do!
This band is one of the bands I meant to include in the first list. I don’t know where my brain was because ‘That Thing You Do!’ is one of my favorite songs. (What is that thing you do?) I even bought their album. Their album. The band is a perfect early 60′s Beatlesque tribute. I want to hug them all. And who could forget that classic tune, ‘I quit, I quit. I quit I quit I quit’?
Mr. White: This “Oneders”, with the O-N-E, it doesn’t work. It’s confusing. From now on, you boys’ll just be… simply The Wonders.
Lenny: As in, I wonder what happened to the O’Needers?
Key song: Obviously, ‘That Thing You Do!’
1. The Beets, Doug.
I am deeply ashamed that I forgot to include them in the first list. That was the whole reason I made the list! And then I ruined it all, like a kid at a dinner party. The Beets were also a great Beatlesque band. Obviously. Their logo is the same and that’s pretty much a cartoon Ringo on the drums there. But they also had elements of The Ramones and inspired Doug to daydream about a music video that had a Talking Heads reference. The Beets were the coolest.
Great quote: Some one help me with this, I can’t find anything!
Key song: ‘Killer Tofu’ but let’s not forget about ‘I Need More Allowance’.
Electric Dream Machine/Charlie, Mac, Dennis, and Frank’s band, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Throughout the course of this episode, the band changed at least three times. Each of them tried to kick someone out and they had no idea what kind of band they were: Frank went with a Beatles look, Charlie went for the Bob Dylan vibe, Mac Sex Pistol’d it up, and Dennis thought he was David Bowie. In the end, Charlie and Dennis are the only remaining members of the band, and their song, ‘Dayman’ gets them booed off the stage. The song is about a character named Dayman, who is a fighter of a character named Nightman. It makes no sense, because when Charlie and Mac wrote it they were inhaling spray paint fumes. It’s a family show!
Dennis: [trying to read Charlie's lyrics, which are symbols because Charlie is illiterate] What the hell is this? A page from a coloring book?
Key song: ‘Dayman’