Teenage Wasteland Back to School Blues: How to Survive the Beginning of the School Year Mikaela Foster

You know that it’s that time of year again! Time to drag your mom along to Target so you can get your sparkly pencils, notebooks with awesome designs and bad quality backpacks that will be destroyed in the next month but you buy it anyway because it’s pretty. You know the feeling of excitement when you’re back-to-school shopping.Then, every year, you get mad at yourself for being so excited. On the first day, you love your new teacher and all your friends are in your class. Your first few weeks are fun until you actually have to do work and you find out your teacher is actually a fire-breathing dragon that was just acting nice for the first while. If this sounds like you, then its obvious you need to read my guide on how survive the beginning of the school year, before its too late!

1. Like I mentioned earlier, don’t think that your teacher is nice just because she gave you cookies and let you watch a movie on the first day of school. Wait for a while, and if your teacher still hasn’t screamed at some kid for making a tiny mistake, then you’re obviously lucky that you didn’t get the bad teacher of the grade. Because every grade has one.

2. PROTECT YOUR PRETTY, SPARKLY, DECORATIVE PENCILS. I can pretty much guarantee 100% that, popular or not, everyone will try to use your pencils. I can also guarantee that if you have any new stuff, like for example the Crayola marker pack that has about 1,000,000 different markers in it, everyone will try to use them. I have no idea why kids are so attracted to new school supplies. Maybe they should make a TLC show about it.

3. Don’t try and focus too much on your outfit for the first day of school. Of course, you want to look presentable for possibility that a new kid will be there (and hes super cute). But really, it’s a waste of time taking 5 hours to find “the perfect outfit” and ripping apart your closet (you’d look better anyway not stressing over it). It always backfires when the person you’re trying to impress is still on vacation and you wasted your time. BECAUSE THAT ALWAYS HAPPENS.

4. And while were still on the topic of how we look for the beginning of the school year, there will always be someone who is a little more tan than you. I always try to ignore the Tan-Competition at all costs but in the middle of the summer when the girls in your class are IMing you about how tan they are, you know you want to try and tan. Just remember this: you’re always going to want to look a little bit more tanned and you’ll never be satisfied.

5. Oh, you went to Paris and Italy and Hawaii and met Brad Pitt and you were in a movie and you were elected president and you bought a spaceship and flew to the moon over the course or 2 months? That’s really cool but unfortunately no-one will care. There is always the bragger who comes back with tons of things to tell. Make sure you’re not that person, because not only is it annoying and rude but it will make those who didn’t have a great summer and just stayed home all day feel really sad.

6. Last but certainly not least, please, I’m begging you, take a shower and brush yo’ teeth before you go to school on the first day. I’m just going to leave it at that.

Photo Via: CrazyWebsite

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  1. I’m well out of high school and college and these rules STILL apply! These rules should apply whether you go to class, work, MOPS, church, the movies, etc etc.

    Unfortunately, people well beyond the age of 12 haven’t taken these suggestions very seriously. Good thing you’re promoting them now – you can save those from a future of smelly bodies and breath :)

  2. im a freshman in high school… and i don’t know anyone there… but this totally applies!! Thanks :)

  3. I teach 5th grade in NYC and I think I might post your survival guide in my classroom next week! You’re one smart kid, Mikaela. I especially like items 5 and 6. Please move to NYC and be in my class, ok? Great, thanks!

  4. How some people can go through a day without showering or brushing their teeth is beyond me. How anybody can live with such people is equally beyond me. Anyway, great article, very gender-crossing, except for the outfit thing (you’ve probably noticed, but most guys just don’t care what they look like) and the sparkly pencil thing (Desserts in lunches were the big item among the guys of my school).

  5. The last one is especially important. There’s always time for teeth brushing in the morning. No excuses!

  6. Yup! Last year of highschool! Bring it on!….that’s if Irene doesn’t bring it on first….

  7. As a senior in college these rules even apply! Love your posts Mikaela

  8. Now as a senior in high school, these rules still totally apply. Especially the ever-competitive tan war.