As a woman, there are things that I don’t understand about women – like talking about our periods. I understand why women want to talk about the curse. I understand on a social and cultural level the desire to relate to our fellow womankind about womanly issues – our womanly issues like Mister Top Hat, as Almie Rose refers to her special friend who comes to visit each month.

However, I am not a woman who wants to talk about my period. I simply do not. I am not interested in hearing about that particular bodily function – be if that of a stranger, friend or family. I do not understand why someone would think I would want to talk about my period. Complete strangers of women have started whole conversations with me about their periods, apparently never noticing my non-engagement and the glazing over of my eyes as I escape to my happy place.

My bodily functions of choice, you ask? Poops and farts. These are universal. Nobody ever feels left out when poops and farts are on the table. Even if you know how to be fancy, you’re gonna be farting. Fancy. And if you’ll remember, a fart – imagined or real – is a great way to get away from an unwelcome dance partner.

And yet I am sometimes made to feel the freakish monster, receiver of death stares and odd looks, when I open the conversation to these particular topics. In my opinion, this is uncalled for and unjust. I should not be made to feel as I’m sure a serial killer does when he or she off-handedly mentions killing and becomes a receptacle for looks and words of disapproval.

This simply should not be.

So I decided to explore the issues of periods and farts through a trio of modern women who call themselves Bachelorettes. These brave and daring young ladies will continue to explore the grander issues of femininity and feminism, but for now the topic of the day is periods.

Please enjoy the comedic stylings of Bachelorettes as they appear in their first episode, entitled A Period Piece.