Bachelorette Recap Party – Episode 9: Gurl, I Can See Your Mirror Face

Last night’s episode was all about the over night dates – AKA an invite to the fantasy suite. Ash admits she’s been really looking forward to being in Fiji.

We see Ashley getting ready for her first overnight date with Ben F. This is a big moment. We get a really great shot of Ashley’s mirror face. You know mirror face, right? I certainly have one and I know the mirror faces my friends and family make. It’s where you contort your face in the mirror – it’s a look of confidence, I’d say. I think a collection of famous individuals’ mirror faces would be worth publishing in some sort of coffee table book.

Once Ashley gets ready for her date with Ben, she goes to greet him at the door of her “dream house” suite but it’s NOT Ben that’s knocking – it’s Ryan P! Yeah, he comes back.

He wants to see if Ash is still thinking about him and if they’ll look back at restarting their relationship as the most magical moment of their lives. Ashley hears him out as he tells her that he wanted to “see through” what they had even if she sends him home again. He can’t stop smiling. Why? Because he legitimately thinks that he’ll get to stay but he is so mistaken.

On the show, we don’t get to hear Ashley’s answer until later on but I’ll just rip off the band-aid. After three or four days of “thinking about it”, Ash sends Ryan P  home. Ultimately, Ryan P says that he’s happy that Ashley has found someone she loves. He mentions that he “got really emotional” when Ash sent him home the first time, saying that “it was crazy”. Yeah, it was crazy. You hid in the bushes and swore a bunch. Hopefully, Ryan P will find the real love that’s missing in his life. I mean, like he said about 9 times on camera: “It’ll happen.”

Ben F’s date with Ash starts on a beach. He tells her that he likes her outfit, even though it’s just a bikini top and a white peasant skirt. Then they go on this really nice boat and cruise around the beautiful blue waters of Fiji that Ash references about 7 times during the episode. Ashley is wearing a flower in her hair on board the boat and remarks that she “lost [her] flower” when it blows away. Not the best choice of words on the day you’re about to offer Ben F a fantasy suite card. Then they lotion each other on the boat.

Ash feels like she and Ben F would would live a very exciting life together because he has such a hunger for life and there would never be a dull moment. I think what she’s really skirting around is that Ben F has a vineyard and that would make for a really fun life.

Later, they have a nice dinner and Ben is touched, remarking, “Honey, you cooked.” I’m hoping it was an intentional Clueless reference but I guess I’ll never know. He goes on to pretty heavy-handedly remind her that he has a vineyard. He says he’s going to tell Ash he loves her but he doesn’t. He does accept the fantasy suite key.  (Side note: reading of the fantasy card instantly brings my mental state to dirty cheap motel.)

Next date is Constantine’s. The pair kick things off with a helicopter ride. Ashley comments further regarding the beautiful blue water. Who can blame a girl when she’s got “a Greek god” to her left and “crystal blue waters” below her?  It’s also pretty entertaining to hear Constantine and Ash over the helicopter radio or whatever it is – made me picture Ashley as the pilot of an airline. How fun would it be to fly on OMGAsh Airways? Let’s say I’d rather not.

Ash and Constantine have a fun rest of their date. They play in some waterfall, eat some coconut and talk about how Constantine takes his time making decisions. The example was that Constantine looked at 108 homes before he bought his. I think Constantine was worried Ash wasn’t into this so he makes a really good point that “women and houses are not the same”. Ash loves this side of Constantine.

Later at dinner, Constantine tells Ash that he’s not 100% about their relationship. He doesn’t want to accept the fantasy suite key out of respect for her. He came to look for love on the show but he just didn’t find it. He knows what the fantasy suite card means or implies.

It is just about then that programming was interrupted for an address by President Obama. So I waited and waited to find out what would become of Constantine and ultimately he leaves before he’s even finished his Sauvingon Blanc.

The last date is with JP. Ash is really excited to meet up with him. In fact, she runs to greet him. They hop on board a sea plane. Ash “loves the coral, water and JP next to her.” Sounds familiar. They go to a private island and have a romantic time.

JP later finds out about Constantine and he is relieved to hear that the guy who came back wasn’t Bentley. When Ash asks if he’ll accept the fantasy suite invite, he responds, “Ugh, yeah, I think I’m into that.” So they go back to the suite and Ash slips into something more comfortable. I’m shocked when she returns wearing just a men’s button down. This is a girl who has worn next to nothing at rose ceremonies – I thought she’d have something else selected for the fantasy suite.

The episode ends with Ashley sharing some reflections with Chris Harrison. Ash takes a moment to look at the remaining three guys’ photos on top of a piano and poetically flips Constantine’s face down.

She decides to have a rose ceremony even though there are only 2 guys left. She wants to give them the opportunity to accept her. Ash calls it “Mission Turn the Tables Around.” Both guys prove they really want to be there by accepting their roses. Phew, Ash, you’re safe gurl.

Next week, sister drama and the end to this love story. Ashley has saved the worst dress for last and I love her for it.

Reality Love 4ev$,

P.S. Don’t forget – men tell all on Sunday night. Get excited.

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