Bachelorette Recap Party-Episode 4: Love is a Cave

BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY BENTLEY.  SHUT UP ASHLEY.

This episode frustrated me. I mean, homegurl goes to Thailand, to PHUKET, with all of these hotties and she still can’t stop talking about jerk face killah. What’s up with that? She also kicks off the episode in one of the worst outfits I’ve seen her wear. C’mon a bikini top, crop top, shorts and wedges? That combination was never needed in the late 90s and it’s totally unnecessary now. Maybe she should have gone with an Ikat caftan?

Regardless, the guys were really excited to work the exotic date circuit with Ashley in Phuket. They think it will take her mind off of Bentley, they think they’ll get some quality time with her, and they are all wrong. I mean, phuk, Ashley compares everything on a scale of Bentley the entire episode. She definitely said Bentley way more times than she said “You are too cute” in episode 1. That means something is up.

The first one-on-one date is with the emperor, Constantine. They are supposed to go to a beach together via boat, but the weather is horrible so they cruise the Phuket side streets looking for trinkets and asking old Thai men love advice, which Ashley totally takes to heart. One sage said, “Dont try to win. Forgive and forget.” You know Ashley was thinking, “OMG my life is totally Eat, Pray, Love right now.”


Post romantic dinner with Constantine, Ash definitely feels like she’s back on her game. I don’t think Constantine would really do it for me- but I’m glad OMG Ash is back.

The group date is fixing up an orphanage. Fine. They all did a great job. We see Ryan P. is disliked among the guys. Of course he is. Not a surprise. He’s bizarrely jovial.  He does steal Ashley away three times, which is obnoxious, but I still argue that he’s a good match for Ashley.


Ashley finds out the guys aren’t very flirtatious while they are helping orphans (weird right?) and Ben F. makes a mural for attention. Additionally, I almost started crying when the orphans got their bikes, but then I didn’t.

Sexy JP sneaks outside in the rain with Ashley for some sly under the umbrella kisses. Ashley calls them “magical.” Then JP tries to pick her up off the ground and falls. Just because he fell, it doesn’t mean his face doesn’t look good. In the end, Ben F. gets the group date rose.



Last one-on-one is with Ames, and guys, he isn’t just a forehead. Ames used to go to Thailand for funsies on his own, but he’s still into the date with Ash. He brings up a really good point on the kayaking trip: “Navigating caves is like a relationship. You don’t know what to expect, but around the corner you can find something beautiful.” I would like to reduce that to “Love is a cave.”


Anyway, Ash seems to be into Ames. They both have “A” names and they are both self-declared nerds. So obviously, meant 2B. Plus, Ames doesn’t have a check list for qualities he is looking for in a woman- just feelings. That’s deep. He gets a rose. OMG Ash and Ames 4 Evs.

In the end, at the Rose Ceremony, Ashley breaks the rules and adds a rose to the equation and only sends one guy home- West. So sad. There were definitely other guys who should have gone home, like Nick. Perhaps West will be in the running for the next Bachelor because he’s looking for love?

I can’t wait til next week. You know Bentley is the one who is back and lurking in the hotel because he’s dot dot dot- a jerk.

Later,

Fitz

Images via buddytv.com and cominguproses.com

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