Bachelorette Recap Party-Episode 4: Love is a Cave


This episode frustrated me. I mean, homegurl goes to Thailand, to PHUKET, with all of these hotties and she still can’t stop talking about jerk face killah. What’s up with that? She also kicks off the episode in one of the worst outfits I’ve seen her wear. C’mon a bikini top, crop top, shorts and wedges? That combination was never needed in the late 90s and it’s totally unnecessary now. Maybe she should have gone with an Ikat caftan?

Regardless, the guys were really excited to work the exotic date circuit with Ashley in Phuket. They think it will take her mind off of Bentley, they think they’ll get some quality time with her, and they are all wrong. I mean, phuk, Ashley compares everything on a scale of Bentley the entire episode. She definitely said Bentley way more times than she said “You are too cute” in episode 1. That means something is up.

The first one-on-one date is with the emperor, Constantine. They are supposed to go to a beach together via boat, but the weather is horrible so they cruise the Phuket side streets looking for trinkets and asking old Thai men love advice, which Ashley totally takes to heart. One sage said, “Dont try to win. Forgive and forget.” You know Ashley was thinking, “OMG my life is totally Eat, Pray, Love right now.”

Post romantic dinner with Constantine, Ash definitely feels like she’s back on her game. I don’t think Constantine would really do it for me- but I’m glad OMG Ash is back.

The group date is fixing up an orphanage. Fine. They all did a great job. We see Ryan P. is disliked among the guys. Of course he is. Not a surprise. He’s bizarrely jovial.  He does steal Ashley away three times, which is obnoxious, but I still argue that he’s a good match for Ashley.

Ashley finds out the guys aren’t very flirtatious while they are helping orphans (weird right?) and Ben F. makes a mural for attention. Additionally, I almost started crying when the orphans got their bikes, but then I didn’t.

Sexy JP sneaks outside in the rain with Ashley for some sly under the umbrella kisses. Ashley calls them “magical.” Then JP tries to pick her up off the ground and falls. Just because he fell, it doesn’t mean his face doesn’t look good. In the end, Ben F. gets the group date rose.

Last one-on-one is with Ames, and guys, he isn’t just a forehead. Ames used to go to Thailand for funsies on his own, but he’s still into the date with Ash. He brings up a really good point on the kayaking trip: “Navigating caves is like a relationship. You don’t know what to expect, but around the corner you can find something beautiful.” I would like to reduce that to “Love is a cave.”

Anyway, Ash seems to be into Ames. They both have “A” names and they are both self-declared nerds. So obviously, meant 2B. Plus, Ames doesn’t have a check list for qualities he is looking for in a woman- just feelings. That’s deep. He gets a rose. OMG Ash and Ames 4 Evs.

In the end, at the Rose Ceremony, Ashley breaks the rules and adds a rose to the equation and only sends one guy home- West. So sad. There were definitely other guys who should have gone home, like Nick. Perhaps West will be in the running for the next Bachelor because he’s looking for love?

I can’t wait til next week. You know Bentley is the one who is back and lurking in the hotel because he’s dot dot dot- a jerk.



Images via and

  • Danielle Kerr

    Fitz! Legit you and I have one mindddd! Ames is SO not just a forehead….when Ash called him a nerd and he said “Gee Thanks” I cracked up! He is WAY too intellectual for her – I mean, she is Gidgit….plain and simple.

    • Caitlin Fitzgibbons

      Okay whoa Gidget. Definitely need to do a post on her. LOVE Gidget. Ames is definitely not her Moondoggie.

  • Sami Main

    OH NO, WEST. :( I haven’t been able to catch up on the past two eps, opting to read these posts instead. WEST NOOO.

    I’m glad to see Ash, y’know, not depressed anymore over Bastard Bentley. I always forget that reality shows are basically written, because of course he would fly all the way to Thailand to bother some girl he hates. Gag me with a spoon.

  • Rebekah Bryan

    I love this recap. I only watched the first episode and have been reading episode recaps since then since I’m not a big fan of Ashley as the bachelorette, but I still like the drama. Keep the entertaining recaps coming!

  • Nicole MacAdam

    I dunno why they don’t just show her the DAMN TAPE already! Wanna get over Bentley The Creep right quick. Show her the DAMN TAPE!

  • Erin Richardson Smith

    I am loathe to admit that this season of The Bachelorette has really sucked me in. My 90 year old grandma loves it and I have to have something to talk about with her other than the juiciness of her steak at Fish House Vera Cruz. Don’t judge me.

    That being said, I want to punch Bently in the face, yo. If only Ashley knew that he actually said that he was going to “go poop out” his break-up with her I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be so set on saying his name so often. Of course if she stops saying his name I can’t play the “Bently Drinking Game” anymore so I guess there’s that…

  • Laura Beth Graham

    I think they are tricking us, and the guy in the hotel is going to be Brad Womack!

    Cause I think they would have to pay Bentley about a billion dollars to go back there…

    • Caitlin Fitzgibbons

      I would LOVE if Brad Womack came back. I mean, he’s just so awkward it entertains me 4 hours. I hope you’re right.

  • Christina Haberkern

    She can’t end up with Ames because she can’t choose how to pronounce his name… she definitely said Eames a couple of times. Maybe I’m wrong, I could of been distracted by his eyes sliding off his face…

  • Nidia Castañeda

    I completely agree with you Fitz, I used to like Ashley on the bachelor, but now I think she is just an idiot, I keep watching because of JP but I had to MUTE the episode to stop hearing the whole BENTLEY crap. It was like “how many times can you say Bentley in an hour”…

  • Mike Holland

    Seriously! I just had to Google knowing someone else has to be wondering HOW MANY TIMES WILL SHE SAY BENTLEY !!!! I think someone should edit all of them together! The video would go VIRAL!!!!!!!

  • how to find real love

    It is really a great and helpful piece of info. I’m glad that you just shared this useful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  • uggs pas cher ebay

    I in addition to my guys were actually going through the good guidelines from your site while unexpectedly I got a terrible feeling I had not thanked the site owner for those tips. My boys were definitely totally excited to read through them and have in effect in fact been taking advantage of them. Appreciate your getting so accommodating and then for choosing some amazing useful guides millions of individuals are really desirous to be informed on. Our own honest apologies for not saying thanks to you earlier.

  • Nibiru

    My wife and i ended up being excited that Michael could finish off his investigation from your ideas he acquired from your very own web page. It is now and again perplexing to just find yourself giving for free tips and tricks that many many people could have been trying to sell. And now we take into account we now have the blog owner to be grateful to for this. Most of the illustrations you have made, the easy site menu, the friendships your site aid to instill – it is many exceptional, and it’s aiding our son in addition to our family imagine that this concept is exciting, and that’s wonderfully fundamental. Thanks for everything!

  • Issac Hano

    Thanks for the info, very useful

Need more Giggles?
Like us on Facebook!

Want more Giggles?
Sign up for our newsletter!