I think we’ve all seen a girl with a bit too much makeup on, right? That’s how I feel about last night’s episode, only there was too much drama.
Episode 3 opens with Ben C getting the first one-on-one with Ash. He’s clearly pumped and so was I. I mean, here’s a guy who has done nothing short of directly state how much money he makes as a means of wooing Ashley. So I’m thinking he’s going to spout endless gems about summers in Nantucket and his 3.5 family homes. I wanted awkward silences and I wanted Ashley to mispronounce a French word and get corrected, but Ben C may be a bit craftier than I thought.
Ashley brings him to a dance studio where they learn one of her routines which will be part of a flash mob!! O-M-G Ash!!! I was honestly against it at first, especially when I saw that her routine was full of “motion-to-lyric” dance moves, starting with motioning to “pop a bottle” as ‘Like a G6′ started. The best part was when Ben C and Ashley get to the park and she’s all, “Ben, will you do the routine with me right here in public?” He fakely says, “Oh, I’ll do it for you,” AKA I want to makes n’ more with you, so I’ll do whatever you want.
They end up having an absolute ball though and I’ll admit it: I was kind of into it. Far East Movement performs and the crowd makes them kiss. Then they were off to the romantic part of their evening which was obviously some place normal people can’t have dinner dates – some roof.
Here’s where Ben C gets real. He tells Ashley how he fantasizes about love and wants to live in a bubble of love with the woman of his dreams? I can’t even quote what he said exactly because he was just on an entirely different level than what is relatable for me, but you KNOW our gurl Ashley. She Ate. It. Up. It’s like, okay, touché Ben C. I thought you didn’t know who you were dealing with but you’re mad sly.
Next up is the group date which takes the crew to The Comedy Store in LA for a comedic roast of the bachelorette herself. BUT FIRST, “The Mask” reveals himself. Woof, literally knew he’d be a zero. I’m just glad that song and dance is over because it was a part of the show that was kind of funny at first but dragged.
Oh my, the roast. Girls that don’t know what roasts are shouldn’t be roasted and that means Ash. The poor thing. William, the cellphone salesman from Ohio, thinks he’s a regular stand-up with a chance to get noticed. He tells Ashley he wish he had signed up for Emily or Chantal. Clearly he hit a soft spot for Ashley, but c’mon. It wasn’t that William said something so mean, it was really that William said something that wasn’t funny at all. That’s what would have upset me. Ash, get a thick skin, gurl. Do you think Honey became a video gurl by letting people get to her like that? Not a chance. Plus, you didn’t see Ames cry when the guys made fun of his huge forehead.
Ryan P was a doll as usual. I mean really, what a nice guy. It’s going to be his downfall and it pains me. However, I’m glad he got a rose and I hope we see a good one-on-one date for him soon.
Okay, now let’s talk about Badboy Bentley. He’s bizarre. The quote, “I’m going to make Ashley cry, I hope my hair looks okay”? Priceless. He’s a flirt and a manipulative jerk. Even when Ashley confronts him about what she heard going into the show, he convinces her that he’s on the same page her and totally into it.
Then, later, when he doesn’t get the group date rose, he decides to leave and doesn’t even leave honestly. He says he’s leaving for his daughter which is a lie. Worst Dad ever. That’s my major problem with his exit. If I were Ashley, I would have been way more skeptical. Ignorance is bliss at times, but it can also leave you curled up on a bed of your own tears on national television. I’ll take my sarcasm over opening my heart up thank you. He’s definitely going to be back in some regard, even if it’s that Chris Harrison plays the confessionals to Ashley so she can see his true side.
The night wraps up with a one-on-one date with JP aka Cupcake. JP is a hottie. While Ashley is still upset, he is the perfect listener for her. Ashley is lucky that she happens to have endless guys to console her post-Bentley break-up. More women need to have a JP waiting in the wings when disaster strikes. They get comfortable and relax with each other by a fire and change into PJs – Ash even wears her glasses. I’m just glad she stopped there and didn’t come out in retainers.
Finally, Jeff/”The Mask” is sent home at the Rose Ceremony along with Chris. Sorry but I’m not sorry, bud. These things happen when you party too hard in your mask, right?
Until next time, when the season is sure to get even more drama-filled because I’ve never seen reality TV show their hand this early.