Well, last night was the end of what, like a 3 month love journey? I sat down to watch the show, feeling as if I had just as much invested in my relationships with JP and Ben F as Ash did. I mean, I watched 20 hours of the Bachelorette this summer and then wrote about it for many more hours – that is dedication.
I’ve got to say: finales of Bachelor/Bachelorette are pretty brutal. It’s legitimately impressive that it can actually be 2 hours long. What do we really want in the episode? A little drama followed swiftly by a proposal. However, it drags on.
So, I’m just going to start by saying that the show ends with Ashley getting engaged to her main man and lil’ cupcake, JP. However, this engagement doesn’t come without some drama. In fact, the episode begins with Ashley’s family visiting her in Fiji. This is their opportunity to meet both guys and give their last blessings and advice to Ash. Things get real when Ash’s older sister Chrystie gets in the mix.
Chrystie wants to make sure Ash is making the right decision so she ultimately doesn’t get hurt. She questions both guys and ultimately didn’t feel like JP was right for Ash because there were some questions he couldn’t answer. She thought Ashley was the most herself with Brad (which is actually terrifying).
The other thing about Chrystie is you may think she looks familiar. That’s because she was on TLC’s Extreme Couponing. So we’re meant to trust her frugal opinion and it works. Plus, don’t mess with Chrystie, she has a geisha tattoo on her left arm.
Chrystie makes Ash really upset because Ash wants to hear that everyone in her family accepts JP because she loves him. She feels alone and she calls her sister a “bitch”. You guys, this is just typical sister stuff.
I must say that for most of the season, it looked like JP was going to be a definite. So they really played up Ben F these last few weeks as if he had a chance. It looks like Ashley’s family really likes Ben F in the finale. Ash and Ben show her family their “dog voices”. While both of them were extremely annoying, I was entertained and I couldn’t believe we hadn’t seen that before. Sounded like true love.
Ben and Ashley have a pretty interesting 1 on 1 date. They take another OMG Ash Airways helicopter to some island and rub each other sensually with mud. It’s a super tribal yet spa-like moment. I think Ashley gives off far too flirty vibes for knowing that she’s probably going to pick JP. Not right. She even let’s Ben tell her he loves her.
JP’s date doesn’t seem as romantic but I guess at this point it doesn’t matter. Ash and JP are going to be a team and have the super dynamic relationship Ash always wanted 4 lyfe. JP loves Ash and Ash thinks her “baby” JP is “the best boy ever”. Now they’ll be able to write the next chapter of their lives in that book that JP gave to Ash. That’s so romantic.
Of course the actual end is dramatic. Both guys shop for rings and prepare themselves to propose. Ashley slips on her ugliest dress (which is completely see through, by the way) and both boys get on planes to fly out to see Ashley on her little peninsula. Obviously that’s what everyone does to propose.
Ben F is up first, which is never a good sign. So I knew he was going to get turned down. When Ashley refuses the proposal (which sounded super unnatural) – Ben loses it and tells Ash not to sugarcoat things anymore than need be. He says, “Good things don’t end unless they end badly.” Then he drops a bunch of f-bombs and says one nice thing about JP. Unfortunately, he does not go home by water plane but instead is sent home in a little fishing boat. It’s rather pathetic.
JP’s proposal, on the other hand, seems really genuine. He’s super nervous. He talks about taking a leap of faith. He gives Ash a pretty nice rock, too. Definitely wouldn’t mind that. Then the show takes it upon themselves to make this absurd montage of JP and Ash set to a nice REO Speedwagon classic, ‘I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore’.
I checked out the After the Final Rose Ceremony thing for a hot second. Okay, I watched the entire thing. Turns out that Ash and JP will move in together in New York. I’m doubting Ash will return to dental school. Whatever, it’s her life. Maybe she’ll be a video gurl after all? Chrystie apologizes for being tough on JP. We also learn that Ben F did not have a direct flight back from Fiji and had to go straight to his best friend’s wedding post break-up. Rough times, bud. Pour a glass of wine.
This has been really fun taking this OMG Ash journey with all of you. Let’s all brace ourselves for The Bachelor Pad.
Until next time,