One particularly unpopular memory is the time that the guy I was dating years ago very arrogantly remarked on whether I was drinking “real” coffee when I went to Starbucks with my friends. He thought himself superior to me because he drank it black, completely forsaking espresso beverages topped with foam or steamed milk. The fool. Little did he know that my palate was wise to the taste of black coffee, having the ability to distinguish which blends were sweeter than others and, more importantly, that Starbucks purposely over roasts its beans. I know good coffee, and I know bad coffee. I also know that good people will always have coffee for their guests, even if they are not coffee drinkers themselves.

I’ve visited with families who have used a variety of coffee makers, some seemingly fancier that others. One friend’s mother is the proud owner of a large machine that grinds the beans at the top, dumps them down, then brews a delicious carafe of life-saving nectar. His sister-in-law had a device to help brew one cup at a time directly into a mug with a cone-shaped filter.

My best friend bought me a french press for my birthday and I felt a huge amount of satisfaction when pouring hot water right over the grinds and watching dark foam appear. Even more enticing was the process of pushing down the filter and watching the coffee sift up after I determined just how strong I wanted it. For less than $8, I was in heaven.

A simple device.

Unfortunately, the glass container of my french press slipped out of my hands and cracked when it fell against the sink.

At the time, my regular coffee maker was no longer brewing properly and would take more than 15 minutes to brew a pot. I improvised by putting grinds into a filter and holding it carefully over my mug as I slowly poured hot water over it. The coffee tasted just fine, but often I would burn my fingers while wringing the rest of the hot water out the filter. Not ideal!

Eventually, a friend bought me a Keurig machine. I was beyond excited, especially because I never thought to treat myself to such a device. I fantasized about keeping it in my room so that I could make coffee as soon as I woke up every morning. It proved fantastic for a while. I’d shake off the sleep, take my morning shower, then prepare my coffee while I was still in my robe. I could then put on my makeup while my cup brewed. This was fun for a while, until I ran out of k-cup samples.

At about $100, the Keurig mini has gotten me through many writing assignments.

The same friend who treated me to this fun device also gave me my first Aeropress. I had heard about it from two other friends but had never seen or used one before. It took very little practice to master its use. Along with an electric tea kettle, the Aeropress helped me make delicious cups of coffee with very little time and minimal effort.

A lot easier to use than it looks!

Sometimes when I go to Starbucks, I feel a little guilty knowing that I have a Keurig and an Aeropress waiting for me at home. I think, why should I spend $2-$4 on coffee today when I could just make it myself? But then I think about how I’m acquiring stars in the hopes of reaching Gold Level on my card. I don’t even really understand the perks behind the Green or Gold levels, but there I am anyway scanning the barcode that I pull up on my app on my phone. I’m probably going to earn a free bagel or muffin someday, I don’t really know. I just want a shiny gold card because it’s the only gold I’ll be seeing for a while.

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The other mistake I made, besides dating him so long, was to share my writing with him. He hated my poems and to be honest, so did I. My real babies were my short stories and I should never have shared my writing with him. He looked down upon it and thought his stuff was better. He thought the best way to write anything was when drunk.

His best friend was one of my classmates and one night we all sat around in the living room drinking beer and talking. His friend and I made a reference to something in class and he told us to shut up. It wasn’t until later, when I reflected on the evening, that it occurred to me that maybe he resented us for being literature students. Maybe he didn’t see the value in the Bachelor’s degree like we did. I’ll never know, but it did make me feel ashamed for a short time. I wondered if maybe he thought being an English student was a farce and that I could have just learned everything about writing on my own. But my goals weren’t all about becoming a writer. I knew exactly what I was doing by earning that degree because I knew that I wanted to be an English teacher.

Before him, I had never felt a sense of competition with my boyfriends. Their interests were always somewhere else and my passions were never in conflict with theirs. I’ve dated engineers, musicians, mechanics, and cooks. They never put down my writing and they never made me feel like my career goals were stupid. Not that I needed their approval, but there came a time when I couldn’t even look at my own reflection and it was a result of taking everything the writer said so seriously. For being so into literature, he never praised my beauty the way Shakespeare did in his sonnets. Maybe he thought he was put on this earth to pick up where Bukowski and Kerouac left off.

I’ll never date another writer if he is anything like the last one. I don’t want him to advise me on how to write and I don’t want to ever accidentally tell him what he should be doing with his own work. I once made the mistake of telling a singer how he should have sung a certain line of “Hallelujah” and this was very upsetting to him. You just should never tell someone how to do their work the same as you shouldn’t tell a mother how she should be raising her children. I will listen to and take advice from other writers, but not while we are romantically involved.

I’m sure that not every writer is difficult to love. Two writers can share love and not hurt each other too badly, but at some moments, they will have to witness some fragility. They will have to be supportive when rejection letters come in or when book deals fall apart. For me, however, it will be best to the be the only one in the house whose craft it is to string together words in the hopes of connecting to others. He can be better than I am at building computers, but he can’t borrow my pens.

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• Just because a person can easily get dates doesn’t mean that dating, overall, is easy for that person.
• Just because no one asks you out doesn’t mean they never, ever will.
• The risk of rejection runs on both sides.
• Just because you had a great first date doesn’t mean you have to be 100% into that person.
• Just because you had sex on the first date doesn’t mean you’re not good enough to earn that person’s love if it works out.
• Just because you didn’t have sex on the first date doesn’t mean you’re a prude.
• Just because a person is giving you access to sex doesn’t mean you have to reward them with your company.

These are just a few things, and they sound very obvious, but for some reason, we don’t learn from them. I’m going to break each one down just a little:

Just Because A Person Can Easily Get Dates Doesn’t Mean That Dating, Overall, Is Easy For That Person

We all move through life in our own kind of rhythm. Some people have a very easy time scoring a bunch of first dates, but it’s wrong to assume that dating comes easily to them. They may go on a lot of dates, but the stuff that comes after those dates is often too difficult to deal with.

For example, I’ve been on several first dates, sometimes a second date, but the stuff that comes after that can be pretty confusing. Sometimes I just want to know if that person is interested enough to pursue something exclusive. But how do you bring that up without sounding needy or like you’re rushing into things? Well, what I’ve figured out is that if the person I’m seeing gets scared off by my approach, we’re better off not dating after that. If they’re too wound up about making a choice whether to date me exclusively or not, that is a problem that could cause some nasty times ahead. We’re either into each other or we’re not and that’s totally okay and forgivable.

Just Because No One Asks You Out Doesn’t Mean They Never, Ever Will

This just isn’t true unless you make it true. I’m super guilty of complaining that no one asks me out when the truth would sound something more like, “The people I wanna date don’t ask me out and the ones I don’t feel like hanging out with invite me out the most.” Get real about what’s actually happening and you’ll face your patterns head-on. You also have to figure that this is the 21st century and if you really want someone’s company, you can find a way to ask them out. If they make time for you and you do meet up, make sure you enjoy that time. Maybe it’s dinner, a movie, or just coffee. Enjoy that time you spend together and if nothing ever develops, that is totally OKAY. It’s okay to not always strike up romance. That’s the point of dating. You go through a series of hits or misses.

The Risk Of Rejection Runs On Both Sides

If you are worried that the person will turn you down, that’s fine. The worst that can happen is they say no. They are just as afraid to ask you because quite frankly, they don’t know what’s on your plate. They don’t know if you’re in a place in life where you are looking to date. They don’t know if you’re already seeing someone (or maybe they do know and don’t care). Point is, whatever fears you have about dating, you’re not alone. Even the most confident-looking person is still a human being with certain anxieties about being vulnerable in front of someone they like.

Just Because You Had A Great First Date Doesn’t Mean You Have To Be 100% Into That Person

My buddy, Oliver is the one who is there to remind me, “Don’t put all your eggs into that one crappy basket.” I love the visual and immediately I think of my ovaries because yes, I’m wired to scout out the most suitable male for reproduction, even though I’m not looking to have kids. Sometimes a great first date is all I’ll get from that person and I can’t let myself get wound up if it doesn’t lead to a second date. I can’t take for granted the one good time I had with someone. If we don’t see each other again, I’m the one in charge of not putting all of my proverbial eggs into the basket. That basket can fall to the ground, everything Humpty Dumpties all over the floor, and I shouldn’t have to feel so terrible about it. Neither do you. Don’t get too invested in someone, but do allow yourself to blush and feel butterflies and enjoy the moment for what it is, not what it could be.

Just Because You Had Sex On The First Date Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Good Enough To Earn That Person’s Love If It Works Out

I’ve been guilty of doubting my own self worth for moving too fast early on. You can play the game if you want to, the one where you slowly build up to a certain kind of physical interaction, but there’s no reason to feel bad about yourself if you jump in with both feet on a first date.

It does happen, sometimes, that a man claims he loses respect for girls if they have sex on a first date. And you know what? I don’t need a man to be in charge of shaming me. What would I have done with his respect anyway? Move a mountain? No. His respect is not the be-all to my self worth. A smart person would know better than to judge another person harshly for their own sexual liberation. Besides, as I mentioned earlier, it’s the 21st century and we’ve about redefined propriety.

You’ll find that there are some people who can’t get enough of you and it’s got very little to do with how much sex you have. If they want you for the person you are, they’ll come for you no matter what. It also doesn’t hurt to talk it out if you have any doubts. If they don’t feel as strongly about you because you did what you did, MOVE ON.

Just Because You Didn’t Have Sex On The First Date Doesn’t Mean You’re A Prude

These are some very confusing times. I’ll tell you, I’ve been on first dates that lead to making out, and that’s a critical moment for me. Kissing passionately doesn’t necessarily mean that I want to go all the way, but some men don’t really know that, and if they move their hands over certain body parts, I know it’s up to me to move that hand away and set a boundary. That boundary is important because it doesn’t make you a prude, it just makes you someone who is in charge of his or her own path.

You absolutely don’t need to jump into anything that you don’t feel passionate about. If for some insane reason that person accuses you of being a prude, MOVE ON. I promise that there are people out there with the same boundaries and they are worthy of your time, just as you are of theirs.

Just Because A Person Is Giving You Access To Sex Doesn’t Mean You Have To Reward Them With Your Company

What does it mean to reward someone with your company? Well, think about the kind of dating style you have with this person. Maybe you’ve been hanging out a few times, and each time has either been completely physical or you’ve actually gone out somewhere for dinner or drinks. Sex can no doubt make the relationship confusing because after a while, you can’t tell if you are friends or just goofing around for a time. If and when feelings get involved, you will have the urge to solidify things with a little bit of a definition. You know, calling it a relationship. If the other person doesn’t see things your way or doesn’t take that step right along with you, are you sure you want to reward them with your company just because they are still interested in having sex with you?

What you are saying when you do that is that even though they don’t want to be on the same page, you’re going to compromise your desires and reward them anyway. You stick around long enough and you’ll start to feel like they are taking advantage of you, and that’s because they are. They will have access to you at no consequence. It’s okay to walk away from a person even if walking away means you’re going to be heartbroken for a little while. You’ll be fine, you’ll move on, and you’ll have room in your life to meet someone who does want to date you exclusively.

Conclusion

If we just paid a little more attention to these obvious markers, we might become conscious of certain dating patterns. By then, it’s up to you if you are doomed to repeat them or are willing to try something out of the ordinary to help produce different results. Eventually you’ll appreciate the freedom that comes with dating, meeting new people, and testing out which personalities go best with yours.

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I take into account every single situation in which I have witnessed or been a part of refining the way in which I relate to other women. For example, when I was younger, it was super easy to hate another girl if she pulled a man’s attention away from me. I would be overcome by jealousy and irrational anger would cloud my judgment. Now that I’m older, I’ve had to make myself conscious of these moments so that I can think things through carefully and determine the best course of action. For example:

I sat in my car one night gripping the steering wheel wondering why I let something so trivial make me angry, because I had watched the guy who was flirting with me turn his attention away to someone else and it punched my ego below the belt. After sleeping off the anger, I was embarrassed that something so unimportant would hurt me at all. I was even ashamed of myself for surrendering my support of another woman for the sake of a man’s attention.

It sounds ridiculous to side with another woman whom you believe to be consciously doing something to hurt you, but it’s not. Humans are capable of doing conniving, hurtful, ignorant things against each other. Even worse is that women have come to be known as the biggest culprits of this behavior when it comes to how they treat each other. The notion of “the other woman,” for example, has led to the foolish belief that attractive women are our enemies. I’ve been to parties where I’ve overheard women speak ill of other women in the room simply because they were attractive and engaged in conversations with certain men. It’s a terrible idea to make enemies of strangers, and yet, it happens.

A friend recently shared that she has a difficult time making friends with other women. My superficial response to that was, “Of course you do, but it’s not your fault. If I came in here with low self esteem, I’d be terrified of you. You’re tall, blonde, have big boobs, and legs for days. Maybe they think you’re a threat, but that’s a shame because they’re missing out on a great time with you.”

Perhaps I go into things with a bit of ignorance, but I’m glad that I do. I’d rather ignorantly engage in pleasant conversation with a new woman rather than pull back because I’m judging her appearance or reputation. Why should those things hold me back? Why should any self esteem issues prevent me from speaking to someone and being friendly? Besides, if that person should turn out to not be nice, it’s not entirely my problem.

I know that there is something too dreamy about imagining a world in which all women get along and support each other. In my wisdom lies the knowledge that you have got to balance out the good and the bad, so I make room for the people who will do bad things. I make room for them in my life and I prepare myself for dealing with heartache and lies, because even if it hurts, at least I don’t pretend to be surprised. Those who hurt us are necessary so that we can tell the difference between truth and treachery.

What I would like to get at with this is that I believe we can and should teach young women that we are not meant to be at odds with each other so that we can see even more progress in our society. If you look at everything that stands against us as women, we’re geared up to fight a good fight. We want many things such as  access to affordable health exams and treatment, freedom and privacy to choose whether we want to be mothers, and to live our private lives free of judgment and admonition, to name a few.

I spent all of last year pondering the phrase “slut shaming” and holding back the urge to vomit after Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke several unsavory names. I’ve read the articles we’ve written, the concerns we’ve shared, and the one thing that stuck out the most was the fact that we’re still debating these issues.

I’m of the belief that our use of language is very powerful in shifting and reshaping ideas. For example, if we continue to argue that we all deserve to feel good about our appearance, it means that we still feel bad about our appearance. It means that someone out there is still doubting her own beauty and has to explore her feelings and perceptions. I think we owe it to the sisterhood to start a new dialogue, one in which we’ve finally outgrown the notion that there is something wrong with our bodies and finally write in a way in which all those things formerly believed to be flaws are normal.

I think we owe it to today’s young girls to pave out a better way for women to relate to each other, one in which every single kind of woman out there feels that she belongs and has the right to demand and receive what she needs for her own well-being. I think we owe it to every woman of any age to not judge her for wanting the things that she wants, whether it’s an education, a family, or a tummy tuck.

We could show each other that we’re finished with rolling our eyes at the girly girls. We could show each other that we are capable of forgiveness when we are hurt by other women and that we will judge carefully which ones will remain our friends and which ones we must let go.

This world isn’t perfect at all and it never will be, but that shouldn’t stop us from making small changes in how we relate to other women, to our human sisters. Even the ones who hurt us the most, the ones who betray our trust, they are acting out based on a pain we don’t understand and I can only ask that we try to be less dismissive of each other in a world that thinks it has us by our throats.

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I thought I had it sorted out years ago when I began teaching and then moved into my own apartment. That adventure didn’t come without a few struggles, such as having my mother’s approval to leave the house and be on my own. She wasn’t kind about it at first but in her own way she figured out how to be supportive about me trying to do something new and huge for my life.

After that came the choice to live with the boyfriend I had at the time. I wasn’t into the idea at first because I personally didn’t want to live with someone to whom I wasn’t engaged, but I did it anyway. I thought I was ready for it considering that we’d dated for a year and had a pretty good rhythm of cooking dinner, watching our favorite TV shows before bed, and keeping ourselves busy with work and visiting our families on the weekends. It all seemed like the formula for adulthood at the time.

When we broke up and I moved out again, I had to take stock of my new surroundings. I would look to my coffee maker as one of many symbols of adulthood. I was excited about my mail coming in through a slot that I could check from my living room and I’d happily write up checks to pay my bills. But then I’d meet up for happy hour with friends and come home still feeling sort of like a child in an adult body. Despite being in charge of my own rent, car, bills, and groceries, there was something in me that still felt very much like I hadn’t grown up at all.

When my mom asked me to move back home again, I knew it wouldn’t be the best thing for me, but it happened with decent timing as I was laid off from work not long after I left my apartment. What better way to feel like a grown woman than to lose your job and have your family look at you like you’re not doing enough around the house, right? I took stock of all the hard work I’d put in during college and during the credential program and saw it all go to waste for a while.  How was any of this supposed to make  me feel like an adult if I was stuck at home while my brother and mom went off to work every morning?

I try to learn from my best friend who seems to have mastered a balance between staying a kid at heart but still taking care of business where it matters the most. She’s super smart, manages her money like a pro, and is married, a step that generally requires a great amount of maturity. And now that she’s embarking on motherhood, I’m incredibly excited but I’m also a tiny bit worried about whether I’m putting these things off for too long now that I’m about to turn thirty-one.

This world isn’t one that specifically explains what exactly it takes to be an adult and for everyone, growing up happens quite differently. I spent a lot of my younger years worrying about things that my friends at the time didn’t even think about. When my parents split up, I had to help take care of things at home like cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping. Most kids my age were going to the store to buy bags of Doritos, but when I was twelve, I was weighing bags of tomatoes on the scales in the produce section and cooking dinner a few times a week. Not that learning responsibilities is a bad thing, but sometimes I wanted to just do my homework and not stress over the floor not being spotless.

These days, I’ve seen myself ignore a lot of those responsibilities and every now and then I grab the pair of jeans off the floor that doesn’t have coffee stains on the knees.

It could be that the things in life that have hardened my heart are the same ones that motivate me to want to push my friends in shopping carts running full speed down the street. Maybe watching how bad things ended with my parents is what makes me not take men so seriously anymore because I’m afraid of promising a forever that I can’t keep. Maybe having to start over in my career has knocked me down so many notches that I have no idea what I’m really doing at the moment. I can laugh at very awful jokes and not take everything so seriously, but I do have to be mindful of the moments when I should simmer down and be careful with the feelings of others.

Sometimes it feels good to step away from my desk at work, grab a basketball and shoot some hoops before our students come out for recess. Maybe it would be dumb to think that having a better income or getting married and starting a family would make me more of an adult.

I think my pal Matty sums the feel of this quite well:

• Be a woman or man of your word. When you say you’ll do something, do it and don’t flake.
• Arrive to meetings on time (still working on this one).
• Pay back debts to people who loan money to you in good faith.
• Give back the books you borrow.
• Give someone gas money when they give you a ride to and from the airport.
• Tell your caretakers that you are thankful for them.
• Cook dinner for friends and family.
• Keep your car clean, inside and out.
• Don’t withdraw money from your bank account if you know it will cause you to be overdrawn.
• Learn how to balance a checking account whether on Excel or on a paper ledger. No excuses. Basic math is BASIC.

There are times when I look in the mirror and still see the kid who used to wash her face with Noxzema and who couldn’t control her huge, frizzy hair. Then some nights, with the right amount of makeup, I can almost pull off looking like I know what I’m doing and where I am going with all of this life I have ahead of me.

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The most significant part of this annoyance is when I receive imperative statements from older men who know nothing about my culture, my upbringing, my values, or my lifestyle. For the most part, they respect that I make my own choices, but there have been a few instances where they’ve taken it upon themselves to tell me what I should do and how to do it, even going so far as to email me lists of instructions.

As a grown woman, I don’t find it helpful at all. I know they mean well, but there is a slight feeling of condescension in having a man take the time to write out a list of what exactly I should to do improve my life. I have determined the following: Any man who wishes to continue speaking to me should recognize that I am an adult (regardless of whether my jokes make me not sound like one) and that thus far, I have been fully capable of caring for myself and if I wanted to bring about a specific kind of change to my life, it is in my power to do so. In fact, I prefer to keep the company of men who respect me enough to never speak to me that way unless I directly ask for specific advice.

I am aware that this kind of reaction seems childish, and maybe it is. Maybe I’m supposed to just listen to what someone tells me to do, but my ethnicity also comes to mind. Why should I receive instructions from an older white man, for example, who has no way of understanding where I’m from, what I’ve done for myself and my career, and what influence my culture has on the desires I pursue? I’ve often read about the “white savior complex” and I’ve wondered if it applies to this situation in my life. Do these men believe that they are going to take part in my salvation? Do they hear my complaints about, for example, how broke I am, and think that they have the solutions I seek? An older white male in his 40′s once wrote a long email to me telling me that I’m single because I don’t let anyone get close to me. This filled me with a rage that I hadn’t felt before as I almost couldn’t believe that someone actually sat at his computer and took the time to say these things to me. I was amazed that someone would have the audacity to even pretend to understand why I choose to remain single and turn it around to make it sound like it’s not a choice, but a consequence of some no-good part of my personality.

I’ve had conversations with professional women and after they’ve learned about where I am in life, they either share personal contacts with me who can point me in the right direction of what I seek, or they simply hear me out and do not tell me what I should do. This is important to me because the more that I am in an awareness of just how much of my life is in my hands, the more it becomes clear to me, as if it already wasn’t, that I control a huge percentage of my destiny. The more I see of successful young women, the more the belief solidifies itself that there is nothing holding me back from reaching the kind of success I think I deserve. Granted, we face obstacles for a variety of reasons, but they can be overcome one way or another.

As for being told to calm down, I’m put off by anyone who sends messages to me intending to control what I do with my emotions. I became very frustrated recently when someone on Twitter put it upon himself to tell me to calm down as a response to a flustered tweet I published. Why should I calm down? I shook my head after reading his message and was angry, then annoyed. Finally, I shrugged it off and remembered that though the message annoyed me, he is not in control of my emotions – I am.

I am in charge of whether I remain frustrated with a situation or let it pass. I am in charge of how long I will mourn something like the end of a relationship. I am in charge of how far I let my passions guide me and how fast or slow I go.

I am in charge of everything about me for as much as I can be with a few obvious exceptions such as certain diseases or accidents. I am sure that as time goes by, someone else will come around to tell me what I should be doing and how. As usual, I’ll be polite and cute about it, but I’ll go home and feel a tinge of ire before finally shrugging it off and remembering that I am doing exactly what I want to be doing at my own determined pace.

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San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro described an education plan that focuses on full day instruction for children entering preschool.  As described on the site SanAntonio.gov:

Pending voter approval on November 6, 2012, the Pre-K 4 SA Initiative would utilize revenue generated by a 1/8-cent sales tax and other state and federal dollars to provide high–quality, full-day Pre-K for eligible four-year-olds in San Antonio. Early voting will begin Monday, October 22, 2012 and conclude on Friday, November 2, 2012.

Julian Castro explained that it is important for the Latino community to get started on education as early as possible because it will raise the likelihood that students will graduate from college, and one way to do this is to get smarter about dedicating resources to education.

Why is this valuable? Because, quite simply, education is ALWAYS valuable. I work in an elementary school and interact with students on a daily basis, including those who are in a Pre-K program. Pre-K allows them to be immersed early on in a structured environment prior to entering Kindergarten, and this sets the tone for expected behaviors that will help them when they reach more rigorous academic instruction. Pre-K programs give kids a chance to start building upon an amazing future of life-long learning and enlightenment which will happen in and out of the classroom.

What Julian Castro is emphasizing, however, is the importance of educating Latinos. I am inclined to agree with him by virtue of my own ethnicity and personal experiences, but I also would like to add that education for ALL students in the United States is what will have a direct effect on the destiny of the United States.

Still, I am aware that there is a specific kind of issue in education when it comes to the Latino community and that is making sure that Latino students not only receive a quality education, but that they derive great value, use, and personal satisfaction from it. Among the many reasons that exist for this already, I think we need an early and strong education that much more because it helps us find a way to fully fit in to our society. Many of us are already dealing with the innate sense that we don’t belong here in the United States (even if some of us were born here) and we must therefore be driven by an aching desire to improve our situations, our communities, and our country by acquiring the tools to do the kind of thinking that will compel us to behave with fruitful and positive action. Castro believes that our education and our numbers are directly connected to the future of our country and with that kind of information, I find it difficult to disagree.

Giving Latino children the education they deserve, the one that their families have always wanted for them, and giving them the opportunity to take part in the destiny of our country could create a new sense of belonging in a place where we have always felt divided. It’s a feeling that has lingered in the psyche of many Latinos whether they were born in the United States or moved here as children. In Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza, Gloria Anzaldua wrote:

The struggle is inner: Chicano, indio, American Indian, mojado, mexicano, immigrant Latino, Anglo in power, working class Anglo, Black, Asian–our psyches resemble the bordertowns and are populated by the same people. The struggle has always been inner, and is played out in outer terrains. Awareness of our situation must come before inner changes, which in turn come before changes in society. Nothing happens in the “real” world unless it first happens in the images in our heads.

Something very huge and powerful will change for our country when we allow not just Latino students, but all students who continue to feel marginalized, to have a bountiful education, one that teaches them how they can contribute to positive change and take part in the growth of a nation that begs to evolve.

It almost feels like a race against time, especially with school years being shortened, and Castro’s urgency to get kids started right away in their careers as students makes sense if it gives those kids the strongest building blocks they’ll need, and they will need them. With constant cuts in funding to education, No Child Left Behind starts to feel like a slow knife. It demands that schools show academic improvement then cuts funding if they don’t. The punishment is illogical and it’s our students who absorb the shock of the blow.

I want to adopt and follow through on Castro’s ideas on education not just for the sake of Latinos, but for every single student regardless of race or ethnicity. I believe that encouraging our students to pursue higher education can empower any community, but there must also be access to it and that means funding the very system that nurtures knowledge. It’s completely worth it, or in Spanish, vale la pena.

Watch Julian Castro’s comments here:

Featured Image via Shutterstock

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So, what can you do to ensure that you do in fact die alone?

1.  Don’t Own Cats: It’s a misconception that cat ladies are bound to die alone. But how could any woman who shares her home and heart with kittens and cats ever die alone? I certainly would not. There’s a great comfort in a purring cat being curled up on your tummy when you’re lying in bed feeling sorry for yourself. If you want to die alone, don’t own any kind of pet.

2.  Don’t Date: Maybe you don’t have pets, but you at least have your moderately good looks. If you start going on dates, you will increase the likelihood of meeting someone you can tolerate and they might find the feeling mutual. Best to avoid dating or any kind of romantic interactions unless you want to find someone who is willing to stick by you until your last breath.

3.  Don’t Read: As soon as you get heavily involved in a series of books, you’ll start to develop a relationship with the characters. They will find a home in your head and heart and be with you forever. You may not have people beside you, but your imagination will be very powerful and the excitement of a story will keep you too fulfilled to feel like you’re dying alone.

4.  Avoid All Entertainment: Movies, television, literature, all of that stuff is going to make you feel entertained and you might even come across some relatable characters. Hell, you might even find yourself interested in the actors and film makers. This will cause you to want to interact with people online so that you can discuss True Blood and Doctor Who. Not a good way to die alone.

5.  You Know What? Just Be Catatonic: Don’t move ever again. This will prevent reproduction which means less people which means higher likelihood you truly will die alone.

None of us are dying alone, I know that! And I know that we joke about it as a way to vent our momentary solitude which catches us when we feel misunderstood. I just hope that if I do die alone, meaning no one is in the room for a few days to notice, that I look my best because why not?

Gravestone via Shuttershock

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