With my 30th birthday coming up in just a few short days, if there is one contest I’d love to win, it’s the “bad bitch contest”! Also, you may be thinking, “Why is Ed using the term bitch so freely? What is a bad bitch? And who does that bitch think he is dropping so many Bs in one post?”

To succinctly answer your rhetorical question: as a society, I think we are finally in a place where the term bitch has transitioned from a pejorative to a positive. In fact, I think of the term bitch as a goal. In Stephen King’s absolutely frightening Dolores Claiborne, Judy Parfitt emphatically said it best: “Sometimes you have to be a high riding bitch to survive..” With that in mind, what exactly constitutes a bad bitch?

While some might argue that the intrinsic meaning of a “bad bitch” is subjective, I would argue that there exists a more objective definition, and I would like to objectively deconstruct the meaning of a bad bitch (if I may).

In my opinion, a bad bitch is a woman (or man) with intelligence, confidence, courage, charisma and an air of defiance, who isn’t afraid to be a true individual in a depressingly homogenous world. Bad bitches have most certainly encountered struggle in their lives; however, being the bad bitches that they are, they have overcome those struggles with grace, humor and success.

Now that we have covered the etymological meaning of what constitutes a bad bitch, I would like to raise some bad bitch awareness. The following women (and one man) are bad bitches to the core, but you may have not known about their bad-bitchery, because they have somehow kept a low profile about their bad bitch status.

Without further ado, here are 5 secret bad bitches:

1. Bea Arthur 

It’s no secret that Bea Arthur was a quintessential bad bitch as wise-cracking Dorothy Zbornak on The Golden Girls, but did you guys know that she served time in the US Marines as a “typist and truck driver”? Furthermore, Bernice Frankel (her real name) was discharged from the marines after contracting a venereal disease, which led her to eventually pursue a career in show business.  Now, there’s a somewhat linear example of taking life’s lemons and making fabulous lemon drops out of them.

2. Fran Drescher 

In addition to being a brilliant, beautiful, successful comedian and actress, did you guys know that Fran Drescher is a survivor of both cancer and a brutal sexual assault that occurred in the early ’90s?  Although she’s a self-touted “simple girl from Flushing” (Queens, that is), Fran Drescher didn’t let her personal tragedies define her, and she shone bright like a diamond (and still does a lot thanks to syndication and TV Land).  As if I needed to drum this in any further, did you guys know that Fran also had a brief but iconic appearance in the monstrously successful Saturday Night Fever? A secret bad bitch indeed.

3. Charlize Theron

This is a still of Charlize Theron from Young Adult, one of my favorite movies.  Apart from being monstrously talented (that’s a cheesy wink to Monster, in case you didn’t actively appreciate that cheddar), Charlize overcame an abusive past. When she was just 15, her mother killed her father in self-defense (he was attempting to kill Charlize).  It’s not something Charlize easily or publicly discusses since it involved her mother, but it adds a layer of complexity and bad bitchery to the South African beauty, who has always portrayed strong, complicated women with complex agendas.

4. Iggy Azalea

Iggy Azalea is my new favorite rapper.  When I first heard the song “Murda Bizness”, I didn’t realize that the soulful, sassy, trill-ful voice rapping was that of a beautiful 22-year-old Australian girl from Mullumbimby, New South Wales (until I saw the amazing video).  Iggy is quoted as saying that her rapping style was inspired by Lisa Left Eye Lopez (RIP), which is undeniably cool and iconic in and of itself.  Dropping out of high school, Iggy cleaned houses and hotels with her mother so she could save up enough money to visit America.  After visiting Miami, Iggy decided that America was her true home, and she decided not to return back to Australia with her mother, instead staying behind to pursue her dreams.  In her song “Work”, Iggy references this: “No money, no family, 16 in the middle of Miami.”  If that’s not a bad bitch right there, please revoke my future membership to the private, members-only bad bitch club.

5. Anderson Cooper 

Besides being my secret (dream) husband, Anderson Hays Cooper is also a secret bad bitch.  There are so many interesting things about Anderson Cooper that I really don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll just list off a few of the more noteworthy (hypothetically less known) facts about the man (from his Wikipedia obviously):

1. His mom is Gloria Vanderbilt, aka American Royalty.  When he was 21 years old, his brother Carter committed suicide, prompting him to really reflect on his life and push him towards a career in journalism.

2. He graduated from Yale, and when he didn’t get anywhere at his first (entry level) journalism job, he took matters into his own hands and created a fake press pass.  Traveling to Burma, AC interviewed students fighting the Burmese government.

3. Having recently come out, Anderson said that “being gay is a blessing”, and it don’t get much badder than that!

Image Sources in order: 2 Chainz, Bea Arthur, Fran Drescher, Charlize Theron, Iggy Azalea, and Anderson Cooper.

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As an O.G. HelloGiggles writer, it’s always fun to pay homage to brilliant, powerful, beautiful women shining bright like diamonds in the sky (or on television); and when those luminous diamonds bring you joy and laughter–all the better! Case in point: Whitney Cummings-star of Whitney and Love You, Mean It, my boss, and Molly McAleer, gifted television writer and HelloGiggles cofounder.

Tonight at 10:30pm on E!, both of these boss-ladies will come together for 30 minutes of giggles, girl talk, and sound-offs. To better show y’all what I’m talking about, allow me to take you behind the scenes and show you just how fun it is working for a comedy sniper (and postmodern queen) like Whitney Cummings.

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Leslie and I will be streaming live from…. the food courts at the Century City Mall!  Call it street art, call it guerilla artfare, call it “I don’t get what they’re doing,” or call it brilliant; we simply wanted to shake things up, and possibly get a Wetzel’s Pretzel in the process.

On tonight’s episode, we will be discussing the ugly, factional family friction (or fiction) of the Gorga-Giudice clan, as well as all the catty comments and emotional claw marks on the reunion of RHONYC.   But that’s not all!

Has anyone seen Couples Therapy?  American’s favorite hyper-sexualized Child bride Courtney Stodden gets asked if she was “molested,” and Alex and Simon (of former RHONYC Silex notoriety) are forced to deal with just how creepy they’re relationship really is.

And it doesn’t stop there.  Did we all catch RHOM?  Lea is throwing digs, but Alexia ain’t trying to hear them if Marysol isn’t there to deflect those digs herself.  And pleaes don’t think for one second that I’m not absolutely 100% up on all the drama on Basketball Wives L.A., and may I ask all of you something: exactly why is everyone so mean to Jackie Christie?

If you feel ramotions or have comments, please send those to info@hellogiggles.com, and Leslie and I will answer those tonight.  Also, please feel free to tweet at me or Leslie, because we love twitter and lady-tweets and social media bonding.

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“Its been a long time (long time), we shouldn’t of left you (left you),

Without a dope beat to step to (step to..step to..step to..step to)

(repeat)

I don’t like leaving you guys without a dope beat, or in this case-hot goss-to step to.

On tonight’s episode of That Hot Goss, we have a lot to discuss, but then again-when don’t we have a lot to discuss?

Fortunately, my dearest Miss Leslie Grossman is back, and we are both bursting with divergent opinions on the finale of RHONYC, the first part of RHONJ reunion, the ending of Gallery Girls, the scandalous RHOM, the return of Basketball Wives LA, and even the impending, glorious train wreck featuring a still-not-so-going-strong, SILEX- Couples Therapy. 

As you guys know, Leslie and I don’t limit our reality television obsessive-consumption to just Bravo.  We’ve been around the reality world, and we have a lot to say about it all, okay Honey Boo Boo child(s)?  Y’all best RecLeslie&EDcognize (that probably didn’t make any sense, but it was really fun to write).

If you have any questions or comments-please send to info@hellogiggles.com, or feel free to come correct and tweet directly at me or Leslie; and we’ll be sure to hollaback (girls and boys).

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So Leslie will not be joining me tonight (tear for all of us), but there is far too much goss to discuss, so the show must go on! From RHONJ to RHONY to RHOM- I’m on it and ready to verbally pop it. Actually, I don’t even know what that means, nor do I want to. Nonetheless, please send your comments or questions to info@hellogiggles.com and I will be sure to respond!

The post That Hot Housewives Goss with Edward Hansen & Leslie Grossman Tonight at 7PM PST/10PM EST appeared first on HelloGiggles.

Awoken from their long, arduous, boring slumber-The Real Housewives of New York have (finally) snapped out of whatever anti-climactic mode they were in to  deliver some much needed drama.  Do we all think “quite frankly, you’re both white trash” was the diss heard around the island on St. Barth’s?

And how about life in Jersey?  How about Teresa and Joe?  Do we all really believe he was talking to someone from “work” when he called him or her “baby” and then proceeded to call his loyal wife some not very nice words of the c-nature?

I’m sure Caroline was loving every single minute of that footage, but for the rest of us-it seemed kind of disturbing, am I right?  On the real, I have no opinions about anything on Jersey until the Queen of Franklin Lakes-Miss Dina Manzo-returns triumphantly to set the record straight.

As always-quite frankly, there is a lot to discuss. And we’ve missed you guys immensely.  So please send us your questions or comments to info@hellogiggles.com with the subject line “hot goss” and we will totally respond.  Also, feel free to tweet at me or Leslie on twitter-we’re pretty fun on there too.

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So how about those Mob Wives in Chicago??  They’re all getting pretty slap-happy lately, wouldn’t you agree?  Or how about Hollywood Exes on Vh1?  Did we all watch Jessica Canseco suffer a bout of vegan angst, only to be called out in a very malicious way by Will Smith’s ex, Sheree?

On RHONYC, things are about par (boring-status)-the Countess and Ramona are feuding, and I don’t know about you guys-but I am extremely ready for Aviva to break it down for Ramona (cough-”you’re both white trash”).  Sonja soldiers on with her Miss Havisham routine, and I’m always extremely grateful for Sonja’s tearful revelations and advice on love and marriage.

If you guys have questions, feelings, or ramotions-please send those to info@hellogiggles.com with the subject line “that hot goss.”  We love hearing from you, and we hope to see all of you later tonight!

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