“Don’t worry ladies, the trail mix I just made is actually just a bowl of chocolate chips” – @jenniepie   “I’m not…

“If you ever want to be completely disgusted, put a large plate of nachos in front of me and set a timer.”…

“I have the nicest, sweetest, friendliest neighbors and privacy shrubs that aren’t growing nearly fast enough.” – @annabeloakes   “I just know…

“I avoid getting too close to people that would probably make me do a stupid intro dance at their wedding.” – @seriouslyemily…

“Does sunscreen have calories?” – @molls   “I only wear lip color to make a statement, like, ‘I am definitely not being…

“We had donuts and wine for dinner. Being an adult is literally everything I thought it would be when I was 11.”…

“Love that American Apparel caters to the modern, independent contortionist.” – @shelbyfero   “I either just walked in to family breakfast or…

“I live in one of America’s most dangerous cities but the only thing that terrifies me is popping open a tube of…