My yoga teacher is amazing. I am in awe of how strong her body is and how fluidly she moves into each pose. She also has supreme self-confidence in her own skin, knowing full well what her body can do. She is never in a bad mood and always seems totally at peace. I envy how grounded she is. However, she does not shave her armpits or legs. I get this is an “au natural” thing, but every time her arms reach up, my eyes lock on her armpit hair with a missile like intensity, as does everyone else’s eyes in the class. I would hate it if people constantly stared at my pits. It would give me a complex. She doesn’t believe in deodorant or hair brushes, either. She also drinks a mysterious liquid out of an old pickle jar that I assume is tea, but could, in actual fact be something with a high pee content, given the color.

Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon is adorable. She is America’s Sweetheart. People love her.  I wonder what it would be like to have everyone just assume I was this really nice person. No one thinks that about me. I know that I am too mouthy and opinionated to make that sort of impression. But as we’ve seen recently, it’s tough out there for a good girl. You have a couple drinks, say something stupid to a couple police officers and the whole world gasps. Not Reese!  So then she has to spend a bucket load of cash and hatch an entire strategic plan involving dozens of people to weather the storm of one stupid outburst. Let me just tell you, no one would have expected an apology on Good Morning America  from Angelina Jolie. It would be mind numbing to have to so be nice all the time.

A Random Supermodel

Supermodels are gorgeous. They have insane bodies. They are invited to all the best parties. They get access to the most amazing clothes in the world and they get to travel constantly. Generally, they are very glamorous ladies. But, man, they don’t get to eat, like, ever. They probably have to hop on a scale a dozen times a day. People assume they are dumb (because who wants to think someone can be beautiful and smart?) They have to live on airplanes and don’t actually get to see the countries they model in. Someone is always doing their hair or make up and futzing about with their face. Posing is hard. And once you get old, see you later. It’s the only job in the world where a 14-year-old can replace a grown woman. No thanks.

Childless People

Pretty self explanatory, I think.

Kate Middleton

Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, is super chic, super lovely and super skinny (even pregnant). She is about to give birth to a future king or queen and become part of history. Also, she is given the opportunity to a have a life dedicated to the service of others but still come home and actually be waited on hand and foot. Nice. But then again, it’s not as if it happened Cinderella style. It’s not as if he saw her and like a minute later they were married. She had to wait for years before she locked it down. You know that had to be torture. Everyone is always scrutinizing her and God forbid she make a mistake… like, sweariing or something under her breath – she would be lambasted. Also, I wonder how easy her in-laws are (if you know what I’m saying). Uhh… no.

The President Of The United States

Being President would be amazing. Imagine being to enact real change in the scope of human history. You are the leader of the free world. There are hundreds of people who would and are actually trained to, take a bullet for you. You travel all over the world in your massive plane and everyone, no matter what their politics would feel that spending even 10 seconds in your presence, was one of the most unforgettable moments of their lives. That said, talk about pressure. I mean, I freak out when I’m stuck in traffic and have to get home to make dinner. Being president is all pressure, all the time. You literally carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You might have great ideas, but there are literally thousands of people (the opposing party) dead set on not letting any of them see the light of day. Forget about ‘me’ time.  Your constituency bristles when you dare to take a vacation. There isn’t one moment of the day that isn’t planned or scheduled and you seem to age in dog years when you are actually in office. No one ever looks refreshed after leaving the presidency.

Ru Paul

Ru Paul is the most glamorous woman in the world. She has a fantastic figure and looks half her age. She has also managed to reinvent the modern day beauty pageant with her show Drag Race. She is wise and funny and the kind of person you would just really want to have as a friend. She is also a man. And black. And gay. Although she makes it look easy, I imagine that life has been incredibly difficult for her. She made some sweet ass lemonade of lemons. I’m pretty sure she’s almost 7 feet tall in her platforms which must come in handy, because I’m also sure she has to be the bigger person in a lot of situations. I suck at being the bigger person.

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Everyone gets annoyed. Everyone gets pee’d off and irritated and many times, those feelings are justified. As strange as it may seem, though, conflict is no bad thing. It is through conflict that we learn about diplomacy, selflessness and the value of someone else’s perspective. Fighting however, an honest to goodness, take off the gloves FIGHT is never good. Because when you fight, you come from a place of irrational anger. You do stupid things, you insult, you belittle and demean. Basically, you act like an a**hole.

Sometimes, most times actually, it just comes down to this: would you rather be happy? Or would you rather be right? The person that you are beefing with has their own point of view and there is every chance that it WILL NEVER change, no matter how persuasive your argument and no matter how right you believe you are. This, of course, is easier accepted than practiced. In the heat of the moment, when your blood is boiling, it’s important to remember that words, especially hateful ones, can never be taken back. Relationships run like fault lines and can move with a violent finality from one place to another based on words alone.

I suppose the question you need to ask yourself is: who do you want to be? Say something really terrible happens, your loved one cheats on you. Do you want to be the person that calls him every name in the book? Slanders everything he is or ever was? Or would you rather be the person that makes it clear how badly you’ve been hurt and then walks away? Why give him or her the satisfaction of your rage? Why ask questions that will never satisfy you? That kind of betrayal can never be explained through a Q & A. It runs too deep and leaves you too raw.

Maybe it’s a much less damaging issue in regards to your partner. Maybe he or she didn’t pay a bill they said they would or you felt like they said something mean-spirited and embarrassed you in front of your friends. Calling them names and screaming in their face is not going to strengthen your relationship. In fact, the best thing you could do is give yourself time and wait until your anger has subsided a bit before addressing it. At the end of the day, you are looking to resolve the conflict, right? Because if you are looking for a fight, if that turns you on, if you feel like you need that kind of interaction with your partner to prove how passionate the two of you are, then you are going to find one at every turn, every choice and at any given minute. And if that’s how you’re operating, then this is not the blog post for you.

There are many avenues to finding a peaceful way through conflict. The first is that you can’t bring up the past. You cannot hoard little upsets and indignities to throw like molotov cocktails later. Once you bring up an issue, once you state how that experience made you feel, you have to let it go. Not for their sake, but for yours.  It’s such a burden to carry around the dead weight of all the times you’ve been hurt. If you’ve been hurt that many times then maybe it’s time to end the relationship, whatever kind of relationship (including parental, I might add) it is. Life is hard enough.

Secondly, NO ONE should have the power to make you feel a certain way about yourself. In fact, what someone thinks of you is actually none of your business. Nobody’s perfect and there is always a way to suggest kindly that sometimes the approach someone is using could use a little fine tuning. In fact, even if it stings to hear it, if framed the right way, it may indeed help us grow. BUT if you walk away from a confrontation feeling like you are a bad person or ugly or fat or conceited, you have given up way too much of yourself to a person who probably doesn’t deserve it. YOU are responsible for figuring out who you are, all of you, the good the bad and the ugly. You can’t let anyone project their perspective on to you. It will always be skewed with baggage of their own.

Thirdly, listen up. You cannot hope to resolve a conflict if you have no idea where the other person is coming from. Maybe you think they are full of it, or lying or don’t deserve your attention. But if you feel this way, then why do you have any kind of relationship with that person to begin with? If you have so little respect for them that you aren’t even interested in what they have to say, then sever all ties. Chances are, though, that you do care. So, if you care about this person, in whatever capacity, then don’t let your anger get in the way of letting them speak their piece. Try to hear what they are saying. It may be hurtful, but if it isn’t mean, then there might be a chance for you to take some ownership in the conflict.

Also, there is no YOU in peace. “You’re this”, “You’re that”. This kind of goes back to my point before. You’re projecting way more than that one incident on the person you’re in conflict with. Pain runs deep, especially old hurts that we haven’t dealt with yet or had closure on. When you name call or accuse and finger point, it’s generally about so much more than what you think it is. It sounds New Age-y and mamby pamby but when you address a conflict only in the first person (I’m really feeling lonely, I’m really feeling like you don’t respect me in this situation) you are effectively shutting the anger down and letting out your pain, which in a healthy relationship, will make the other person involved much more likely to really hear you. Besides, you are so much better than the person that demeans and belittles with digs and insults. You .don’t want to be that person.

Finally, allow yourself to be vulnerable, but not too vulnerable.  For many years, I used to think it was weak to show people how badly something they said or did hurt me. I was a tough guy. I didn’t need or want anyone’s pity and there was no way that I was going to let on that I couldn’t take it, whatever it was, like the hard ass image I cultivated. Why was is so important for me to appear so invulnerable? Fear probably is the best (short) answer. I let a lot of relationships go in my life because I felt hurt and simply closed the door before I could get hurt more. It’s sad that I didn’t trust the other person enough to let them know that something they had done had caused me real pain. It’s sad I never gave them the benefit of the doubt to fix an issue they might not have even been aware of. I don’t do that anymore. I’m brave enough to show my vulnerabilities. I know there are worse things than addressing the uglier sides of my personality, like say, growing old with no friends or family who want to be around me. Alternately, you do have to have some boundaries around your heart. You can’t shove every emotion into someone’s lap and say “SEE!!! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME!!!” It’s okay to cry. It’s not okay to blackmail someone with your tears. It’s not okay to manipulate and guilt someone into admitting defeat. That’s not a real win anyhow. If that’s how you are dealing with a conflict, there’s a real chance the other person involved doesn’t really respect you as an equal. If there is no equality in your relationship, whatever kind it is, then there is very little chance it will survive the years.

Whew, this is heavy stuff! But important stuff, and the important stuff is rarely easy.

Peace out.

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I’ve certainly done this before – as much as anyone who has kids and husband and a job can do. For me, it was Lost. It was the ONLY thing I watched when I had any free time. It still took a while. I also experienced Friday Night Lights in this way (and if you haven’t seen it, you should, right now). Right up until the last season, that is, which began airing just as I finished the four seasons before. I had become gluttonous for FNL; the waiting every week was annoying.

I binged a little (two episodes max a day) on Netflix’s first foray into this type of media delivery, House of Cards.  It was gorgeous, dark, tightly directed (and created by) Fight Club‘s David Fincher with a stellar performances by the mesmerizing Kevin Spacey and the incredible Robin Wright. I loved it.

Netflix’s second entree into original content is Hemlock Grove. Now, I’m a gal who loves werewolves and vampires and witches. Can’t say the same about zombies, I don’t like the zombies. Anyhow, this should have been right up my alley.

Here’s the general plot line for the show: Hemlock Grove is a small sinister town in Pennsylvania. We are first introduced to Peter, a gypsy (we know this because he says he’s a gypsy straight off and he and his mom shoplift a lot – nice). Peter and his mom move into a trailer that’s just across the forest from the scions of Hemlock Grove, The Godfreys, headed up by the widowed and totally creepo Famke Janssen and her two children, spoiled brat Roman Godfrey and his disfigured seven foot tall sister Shelly (Frankenstein, anyone?), a gentle giant who sadly, has a squid eye.

Rumor has it that Peter is a werewolf. Well, actually we know he is one because they’ve released the clip of his gruesome turn on YouTube. Roman, meanwhile, has a fascination with blood and can make people do things by looking them in the eye and squinting. Is he a vampire? Not sure. When girls start to be mauled apart by a wild animal on each full moon, the two of them buddy up and decide to find the killer. I should say that it’s not all Turner and Hooch. There’s also the biotech company owned by the Godfrey family where strange experiments that hint at raising the dead might be going on. Did I also mention the cousin? who was impregnated by an angel?.

Here’s what I want to say about Hemlock Grove: It is horrible. I mean, it is cheeseball, gory, shlock with dialogue that could have been written by a 13-year-old boy who is hyper-excited about boobs and girl-on-girl action. Eli Roth is the creator and director of the show and he’s no amateur when it comes to horror, or so I’ve heard. I don’t actually watch movies like Hostel or Cabin in The Woods because I’m a scaredy cat.

It is hard to get past the writing. It’s hard to get past the swiss cheese of plot lines. Famke Janssen is…. tall and affects a strange British accent. Roman, played by Bill Skarsgard, is in fact Vampire Eric’s brother in real life. But sadly he has none of the swaggy sexiness of his big bro. Also, HIS Swedish accent is quite pronounced, with no explanation as to why that might be. (Writer’s note: since Famke is Dutch and Bill Swedish, couldn’t they have spent some formative years somewhere in Scandinavia to explain this?) Peter is labeled from the get-go as a werewolf because his index and middle finger are the same size. Yep, that’s all it takes, apparently. But sorry ladies, he’s no Alcide. They call him hirsute on the show, but apart from a little 5 o’clock shadow, he didn’t look all that hairy to me.

The show is silly (notVampire Diaries silly, which makes both Twilight and Hemlock Grove seem like Shakespeare.)And yet…and yet… I HAD TO WATCH ALL 13 EPISODES. I had to know who was who and who killed who and what the Order of The Dragon was. I certainly enjoyed last four episodes more than I did the first 4. However, there was never a time when I completely bought everything the show was selling. And yet.. Again, I watched it all. Had the show been on regular TV, I’m not sure I would have bothered. The weird continuities of the story development might have annoyed me too much between weeks and I may have given up.

So in this respect, the Netflix model certainly does work. It makes me wonder if perhaps this is the way of the future. I wonder how I feel about this future. I do like to binge once in a while. Binge might be too strong a word here; indulge might be better. I do like to indulge in Toll House cookies right out of the oven, super hot shoes, crazy expensive handbags, vodka and the entire season of a TV show. Sometimes, however, I like a slow jam. I like a meal that goes on for hours, a knitting project that takes me months to finish, a big huge book that makes my arm hurt when I hold it for too long. Sometimes it’s the anticipation that makes the thing itself so satisfying. I would certainly say that’s the case for me and Game of Thrones this season. Is TV binging yet another way we are indoctrinating our culture into the cult of entitlement? Or is it giving viewers the opportunity to see a show as its creators see it – as one long, long, movie – and thereby giving us a weird sort of patience to see it through to the end? Not sure yet. What do you think?

We are talking about having confidence this week at the Heatley Cliff. Something the creators of Hemlock Grove have in spades, I think.

Featured image from liveforfilms.com

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French women just “get it”, whatever it is, in a way that we buttoned up yet loud American gals can’t do so easily. So, after spending time in France and discussing this topic with a few of my French friends I feel I can provide some tips that certainly helped me – and might help you – draw out that inner French lady lurking inside.

• Learn how to tie a scarf properly. This is obvious – perhaps the most obvious. It is amazing what French women (FW for short) can do with a piece of cloth. There are many websites online with video tutorials. It’s not as if we can’t tie a scarf, but they do it with an effortlessness that deserves to be emulated.
• On the sartorial front, FW do not wear their PJs or sweatpants outside. Non! The French have lifted their ban on jeans, thank God, but you wouldn’t catch a FW walking out the door in something she would sleep in. Why? because she finds it offensive to present herself to the world in this way. Rude. And despite what people think of the French, they are not rude.
• Yes, FW are thinner than you. I know this seems impossible because they have such insanely good pastries, they all seem to smoke and drink and I don’t think I have ever seen a gym in France. There are three reasons for this. 1) They eat better, with smaller portions and their food has a quarter of the sugar added that ours do. 2) Everything in moderation. They have their vices, but those vices are accepted as being okay in small doses. This means that they don’t do something bad and then guiltily binge in a shame spiral afterwards. 3) They know how to wear clothes that are slimming and would not try to get into an outfit that would show off the dreaded muffin top because it’s “trendy”.
• FW expect that a man will compliment them and tell them they look beautiful and sexy. They do not think this is sexual harassment. They do not think the man is necessarily trying to get into their pants. They do not say, “No, I don’t!” or “Really? I don’t feel like I look all that great.” They simply smile demurely and nod their heads because they know that French men appreciate a well put-together woman.
• FW do not think it’s cute or quirky to be neurotic. You will not find them talking about how afraid they are to be dumped yet again or how they were teased about whatever as children. FW will make themselves vulnerable in other ways, but they do not self-deprecate.
• FW make an effort to learn about what is going on in the world. FW enjoy a healthy debate. Celebrity culture is acknowledged in the way that one acknowledges a child trying to get an adult’s attention, but it is rarely the foundation of a dinner party conversation.
• FW hold back. They don’t give up their life’s story as an offering of goodwill upon first meeting. Like a flower, the FW eventually unfurls her personality like petals one by one, over time and shared experience.
• I’ve met FW who were lied to, betrayed and cheated on. Universally, their response was to scream holy hell at the offender – tell him exactly what she thinks of him and then cut him out of her life. The FW does not stalk. She does not show up somewhere hoping he will be there. The FW does not cry or beg. She is not willing to do anything to get him back. He is now not worth what she scrapes off the bottom of her shoe and she treats him accordingly.
• Fidelity, however, is a much different notion in France than it is in America. Perhaps monogamy is a better word. A young FW will not share her boyfriend. An older FW, after 20 or 30 years of marriage, understands that her husband will most likely have a mistress. This seems to only be an issue if the FW suffers a shift in her lifestyle because of it. The French man can play around, but he cannot take things away from his wife to give to another woman. That is unacceptable.
  

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  ]]> http://hellogiggles.com/tips-on-bringing-out-your-inner-francaise-french-woman/feed 7 http://hellogiggles.com/school-suspends-5-year-old-for-having-mohwak-a-moms-perspective http://hellogiggles.com/school-suspends-5-year-old-for-having-mohwak-a-moms-perspective#comments Thu, 11 Apr 2013 15:00:23 +0000 Amy Foster http://hellogiggles.com/?p=148140 This week, I am taking a little break from my normal posts relating to the Heatley Cliff (although you can listen to...

  The post School Suspends 5-Year-Old For Having Mohwak: A Mom’s Perspective appeared first on HelloGiggles.

  ]]> This week, I am taking a little break from my normal posts relating to the Heatley Cliff (although you can listen to our fun-filled podcast on believing in magic by clicking play above) because this issue really got my back up and I had to blog about it.

  According to The Huffington Post, 5-year-old Ethan Clos was suspended from his Ohio elementary school because he had decided to style his hair into a mohawk.

  Now, I’m not talking a 1980s Sex Pistols type of mohawk that’s dyed purple or red, held up with crazy glue into spikes that are so high you can’t even get into a car – I’m talking about a cute, one inch little number that’s slicked up with a bit of his mom’s gel. The type of haircut that Gwen Stefani and Angelina Jolie give their kids. It’s cute and fun and also apparently super threatening to the school board.

  The superintendent’s office claimed that Ethan’s hair was a distraction and that it went against the school’s dress code policy. To this, I can only say in the wise and immortal words of Amy Poehler and Seth Myers: ...Really?

  Really school board? Really? Because I think you should be more concerned with the 26% of the students in your state that won’t graduate from high school. Or how about the fact that in 2010, you had 33,000 homeless children in your state and that number, according to the statistics, was on the rise? Or how about the fact that 22% of your kids live in poverty?

  Call me crazy, but I kind of think that might be something to focus on rather than Ethan’s hair.

  So the kindergarten kids were distracted by his mohawk. You know what else distracts 5-year-olds? Let’s see… dogs, cats, bubbles, The Fresh Beat Band, cars, Cars the movie, Disneyland, gum, chocolate, music, airplanes, Spongebob, farting, running water, sirens, the lights being turned on and off, computers, noise of any kind, running shoes with lights in them, pizza, blankets, monsters, Yo Gaba Gaba, dragons, dinosaurs, Cinderella, the weather, Mermaids, being outside, shiny things… I think you get the idea.

  It’s not like you don’t know what’s coming, educators. It’s not like you don’t know that in 9 or 10 years, Ethan, like all teenagers, will be on the dark side of the moon and unable to communicate with earth (aka any form of civilization, especially teachers and parents). It’s not like you don’t know that teens have to deal with a barrage of issues- drugs, sex, bullying, drinking, navigating their peer groups, etc. It can’t be that you don’t have any clue as to the fact that a parent gets to the point that if a mohawk is the way in which their child wants to rebel, they thank their lucky stars and tell their kids to have at it. Hair is nothing. Hair grows back. Driving drunk or getting pregnant – those issues can’t be solved in a hair salon.

  But no, really, it’s great that you set up this little adversarial relationship with Ethan at such a tender age so that he learns early on that school and teachers are out to get him. I mean, how can that go wrong?

  Let’s just hope that cool little Ethan Clos will rise above your petty fear of early onset individualism and become a kick ass young man despite your efforts to make him feel like an outsider or like he’s done something wrong because he likes what he sees in the mirror.

  Shame on you Reid Elementary School of Springfield, Ohio. Get your priorities straight.

  Featured image from kpopstarz..com

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  ]]> http://hellogiggles.com/school-suspends-5-year-old-for-having-mohwak-a-moms-perspective/feed 7 http://hellogiggles.com/how-to-travel-like-a-rock-star-on-an-indie-budget http://hellogiggles.com/how-to-travel-like-a-rock-star-on-an-indie-budget#comments Mon, 08 Apr 2013 13:00:07 +0000 Amy Foster http://hellogiggles.com/?p=146199 One of the great ironies in my life is that now, when I have the money to do all the traveling I...

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  ]]> One of the great ironies in my life is that now, when I have the money to do all the traveling I could ever wish for, I do not have the freedom to go anywhere since I have three kids.

  Of course we travel. We have a trailer. We go glamping. We just got back from Disney World last week. We go places as a family and it’s great. I could, in theory, take the whole tribe globetrotting. At the end of the day, though, the effort I would expend to maneuver a 2-year-old around the world would more than likely offset most of the joy of being where ever I was. Two-year-olds have a lot of requirements. In point of fact, traveling with a toddler is a bit like traveling with a rock star, given their demands.

  When I was 22, I traveled all over Italy and France on my own for two months. I didn’t have much money. I didn’t quite stay in hostels, but I never got a phone or even a bathroom of my own in any of the rooms I slept in. I ate cheaply, traveled frugally and had a great time. It’s a rite of passage, I suppose, to travel like that. But I do wish I could have splurged and experienced Rome or Paris “Beyoncé” style.. You know she does it large.

  Truthfully, there was no internet when I did my youthful adventuring. Yes, my dad is now a very wealthy and successful record producer, but he’s not a spoiler. My four sisters and I were never Daddy’s Little Princesses. He also wasn’t quite as wealthy and successful way back then, either. I should say, in fairness to him, that he did fund most of my traveling (I paid my fair share, too) but he deliberately kept the means very modest. Thank God. There are very few things more dangerous to a young person than a sense of entitlement and a credit card with no limits.

  Now that I am older and have money of my own and have done a bit of traveling with that cash, I can see how I might have translated my small budget into a few big time experiences. Here’s how:

  • First of all, before you go anywhere, you have to figure out what your priorities are. What is it that you most want to experience as you travel? Is it culture? Food? Shopping? Making new friends? Staying in a swanky place? There is no right answer. People might expect you to say museums or churches or whatever, but if that’s not your thing then you shouldn’t feel the pressure to do those things just because they are there. You have your whole life to do what’s deemed “appropriate.” 
  • Once you’ve established what it is that you want to focus on, then you kind of have to accept that it will take up the majority of your Rock Star equity. Traveling on an Indie budget means that you can’t have it all.
  • I’m always saying this, but doing your research is they key to getting a Rock Star advantage. You need to know where all the hot restaurants, bars, boutiques and hotels are.
  • Let’s say now that your priority (as mine would be) is shopping (NO JUDGEMENT!) and let’s say for a moment you are planning on going to France. Suss out the super hot boutiques (in Paris, I would say it’s Colette, Isabel Marrant and of course, Hermes). Just being in these stores will make you feel like a Rock Star. Don’t forget your sunglasses and walk in like you own the joint. Can’t afford a Birkin? Who can? But maybe you can splurge on a scarf or a funky shirt. They key is confidence and setting aside some funds in your budget to buy something luxurious. Whatever you buy, however small, is not the point. It’s a souvenir you can wear and will most likely last you years.
  • Is food your weakness? Again- do your research and find out the hottest and yummiest places to eat. Rock Stars might be able to walk in without a reservation and get seated. You probably won’t be able to do that, but don’t be discouraged! Make a reservation. If they can only take you at 10 p.m., so what? Hang out in the bar and people watch. If you are on a budget, chances are you will only be able to do this once during your trip, so make the most of it. Again, wear your sunglasses, walk in with confidence and be super nice to the host or hostess. A little kindness goes a long way. It’s a misnomer that stars treat people like crap. Generally, the big stars have a kind of benevolent magnanimity, so use that approach.
  • Do you long to stay in a five star hotel? Seem like an impossibility? Well, here’s a little trick I am going to share with you. Fancy Schmancy hotels always have a corporate rate for entertainment people. Call ahead and try to reserve a room under a Time Warner, Universal, Sony etc. rate. It might not work, but give it a try. With a bit of imagination and a chipper tone, you’d be amazed at what you can pull off with a reservation desk. If you aren’t brave enough to do this, then budget one night to experience this hotel during your travels. Yes, it will take a chunk out of your budget, but if it’s on your bucket list then go for it!
    

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    ]]> http://hellogiggles.com/how-to-travel-like-a-rock-star-on-an-indie-budget/feed 1 http://hellogiggles.com/on-gratitude-being-thankful-and-appreciating-what-you-have http://hellogiggles.com/on-gratitude-being-thankful-and-appreciating-what-you-have#comments Mon, 01 Apr 2013 12:00:46 +0000 Amy Foster http://hellogiggles.com/?p=143645 Dear Me, I felt I had to write to you (me) because lately, there’s been an abundance of eye rolling, a general...

    The post On Gratitude, Being Thankful And Appreciating What You Have appeared first on HelloGiggles.

    ]]> Dear Me,

    I felt I had to write to you (me) because lately, there’s been an abundance of eye rolling, a general abuse of the F Word, a decided lack of patience and entirely too much focus on all the things you feel aren’t going perfectly.

    Me, it really pisses me off when you don’t realize how lucky you are. I know you can’t stand the word luck, because it implies that everything you have simply fell into your lap, as if you didn’t have to work for it. You and I don’t have any secrets. I know how hard you have struggled.

    I know about the days you didn’t want to get out of bed. I know about the times you left a room because you could not hold back your tears. I know how often you’ve been rejected, professionally and personally. I’m well aware that your gender has been used against you. I know that you’ve felt smothered and trapped by the very responsibilities you are meant to love and the accomplishments anyone in their right mind would be proud of. I know that you have felt bored, petty and mean spirited. I realize that you wonder why in the hell you bother sometimes and secretly, in the dead of night when you lie awake in bed, you plan your great escape. You think about what it would be like to change your name, live in a different town where no one knows you. As great as your life is, you think about living an entirely different one. But, come on Me, we both know that you would never, ever leave.

    It is my job to remind you that while fugitive fantasies are all well and good, where you are right now is exactly where you are meant to be and considering the rest of the world’s population, that place is pretty damned sweet. Let us (because of your semantic prejudice) leave out the word luck and replace it then with the word grateful. It is time, Me, to count your blessings, because they are legion.

    You should feel grateful for the roof over your head. It may not be your dream home, but it does provide shelter and warmth. Look around you (if that is, you are home) – like a magpie, you have acquired treasures. They may not seem so to anyone else, but they mean so much to you. The framed picture of your grandmother, the painted box you bought as a souvenir (meant to be tacky in an ironic way but looks cool nonetheless). The DVD of your favorite movie that always makes you feel good, your first love letter, the cozy blanket you keep at the foot of your bed (so you can nap without feeling guilty because you haven’t actually gotten into bed), the perfume bottle on your dresser, your collection of rocks collected from beach trips and summer hikes. The very fact that you have a bed, and a couch and a way to watch movies and clean water from a tap and a fridge to go into when you are hungry, really are luxuries considering how many people in this country alone, are homeless. Think of the women on the run from abusive husbands or the children who will only get fed when they go to school. Think of all the people all over the world who would consider your home to be a palace.

    You should feel grateful for your health. People say that all the time, but really, it is a wonder to be able bodied. You have two arms, two legs. You can run, you can walk. You hate doing the dishes, but hey, you can do the dishes and the laundry. You can hold the people you love and you can tell them all the ways you do. You can dress yourself and you can walk out the front door (even if you only intend to go as far as the porch) when you need a break from it all. You can breathe clean air and you aren’t sick. Okay, so you’re afraid of dying. You’re afraid of leaving people behind and moving on before you’ve made a real mark. Guess what? So is most everybody else in the world. You are never going to know what the future holds, that’s why it’s so important to be grateful for every minute that you have.

    The post On Gratitude, Being Thankful And Appreciating What You Have appeared first on HelloGiggles.

    ]]> http://hellogiggles.com/on-gratitude-being-thankful-and-appreciating-what-you-have/feed 3 http://hellogiggles.com/so-you-want-to-be-a-published-writer-heres-how http://hellogiggles.com/so-you-want-to-be-a-published-writer-heres-how#comments Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:00:18 +0000 Amy Foster http://hellogiggles.com/?p=143115 When people ask me what I do and I reply that I am a writer, one of three things are generally said:...

    The post So You Want To Be A (Published) Writer: Here’s How appeared first on HelloGiggles.

    ]]> When people ask me what I do and I reply that I am a writer, one of three things are generally said:
    • “Wow, that’s cool.”
    • “OMG, I have the best idea for a story! You should totally turn what happened to me/my sister/brother/friend/mom/grandmother/dog/teacher/neighbor/ into a novel!”
    • “I’m a writer, too! How did you get published?”

    To this last question, I always say that getting published was and continues to be probably the hardest part of being a writer. So let’s just put that on the table now, shall we? You spend years writing your manuscript. You slave over it. You rewrite it a hundred times and you second guess every word. You are both proud to and totally humiliated over the notion of having a friend or loved one read it. You want them to love it. You are sure they will hate it. You think you are a pretty good writer and you are also pretty sure you might be crap. Sometimes you read a book and wonder how the hell someone actually managed to get it into a bookstore. Other times you read a book and it is so good you want to give up because you know you will never, ever come close to that kind of genius. Finally, your book is done. Get ready, because that was the easy part.

    There are many people who self-publish. There are even a select few who self-publish and make money. An example of this is the oh-so popular 50 Shades Of Grey series. I think it’s important to note, however, that Dominatrix What’s-Her-Name who wrote those books was part of a very large online community of fan fiction writers. She had a system of sorts to generate heat and buzz around her work, which helped her get noticed. She also may or may not have made a deal with the devil, but that remains to be seen.

    The reality is, if you want a chance to actually sell your book to both publishers and consumers, you need an agent. So how does one go about getting an agent? The answer is timing, luck and persistence. Some agents – most, actually – accept query letters. This is a letter which briefly introduces yourself and a synopsis of your book. If the agent is intrigued, then you may have the opportunity to send in 50 pages of your manuscript. Let me warn you, though – the chances of this happening are slim to none. It happens, sure, but in today’s shrinking literary economy, it happens less and less.

    The first thing you want to do is narrow down the agents to the ones you think might be into your work. Look at the ‘Acknowledgments’ section of 20 (contemporary) books you feel are similar in tone and vibe to your own work. The authors will always thank their agents. From here, you can garner a list of names to send your letters to and determine who might be receptive to your style. You also might want to email blast your favorite authors and beg them for an introduction. If you email the author, I would hope that you might have some of your work already available for them to read online or elsewhere.

    Having your own blog or writing for a well known blog (*author clears her throat*) is a great way to get this kind of presence established. It may be a question of submitting dozens of articles to multiple online sites, but at least you would have physical evidence that people are indeed liking and reading your work.

    There are a couple of other ways to get an agent. The first is going to as many writers conventions as you can. There are often agents milling about, trying to find new writers or looking after writers they represent who are trying to get some fan buzz. The second way is through hiring a freelance editor. Here is something you probably don’t know about getting published: it ain’t cheap.

    The post So You Want To Be A (Published) Writer: Here’s How appeared first on HelloGiggles.

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