My sister is currently pregnant. Very pregnant. And sure, it’s exciting that she’s going to be a first-time mother. But let’s remember what’s really importantly here: I’M GOING TO BE AN AUNT!
Now, I know there have been plenty of aunts that have come before me, and there will be plenty after. BUT… I am going to be the best aunt that ever was. That’s a fact. How do I know this, you ask? Well, for starters, because I said so. I’ve never been an aunt before, but I don’t need it to already be on my resume to know that I’m going to nail the job. I don’t normally have this kind of confidence when venturing into new realms. It took me years to acknowledge that I’m decent at knitting, even longer to perfect my cursive, and I still don’t think I’m a very good driver. But when this kid is born, if it knows one thing, it will be that her* aunt loves her.
Being an aunt means I get to do all the fun stuff, and none of the hard things that parents have to do. I get to read her stories, but not pay for tuition. I get to sing silly songs with her but not wake up at 4 am to put her back to bed. I get to take her to her first R rated movie, but don’t have to have the birds and the bees talk with her. Not that being the parent is bad of course, I’m sure it has its own perks. It’s just not as good as being an aunt.
Oh, and did I mention there will be lots of presents? These are not going to be just ordinary presents either. I will be known as the aunt who spoiled this child so rotten, that there’s no turning back. Who bought her that pony? I did. Who took her to Disneyland everyday in a row for three years? Me. She wants ice cream? I’ll buy her the store (that one would actually be for both of us). You might be thinking, “A good aunt will help her niece learn limits and know when to say no.” I say that’s what parents are for (please see previous paragraph for further explanation).
There is obviously more that goes into being the greatest aunt ever, but those are the things I’m most excited about. That and being the grown up she calls for advice when her parents are being unreasonable (she knows I’ll always side with her), me teaching her about all the things that I know (knitting, cursive, bad driving and everything in the world outside of her crib), her teaching me about all the stuff that she knows (Goodnight Moon, The Runaway Bunny, all of the important business she conducts when she’s pushed around in a stroller.)
I can’t be the only one out there who feels this way…if you have any great tips on how to be an awesome aunt, let’s hear ‘em! Anything like what’s the best age to show them Dirty Dancing for the first time? Or how many puppies is too many to give as a birthday present? And if you’re not an aunt, what are you most looking forward to when get called up? If you’re anything like me it will be showing anyone who will pay attention (and even those who won’t) pictures of this baby.
I am counting the days until this baby is born. I can’t wait to meet her for the first time, put a name to a face, and smother her with more love than she’ll know what to do with. Then, and only then can I finally accept my crown as queen of all aunts!
*They don’t know the sex of the baby yet, but it looks real dumb to write his/her and niece/nephew each time. So, for the sake of this piece, I have decided that my sister is having a girl, because that is what I hope it is. Everyone always says they don’t care, as long as it’s healthy, but I care. I want it to be a girl.**
**I don’t actually care if it’s a boy or a girl. I just want it to be healthy.***
***I’m such a hypocrite.
Photo by Deborah Tarica