We’ve been broke since long before broke became fashionable (see 2008, pre-economic fallout; see also ‘07, ‘06, ‘05…). Now that, given the imminent demise of Western civilization, everyone’s doing the whole fiscally-responsible thing (what do you mean I can’t buy a five-bedroom house for $200 down and $80/month?!?), we’ve decided to utilize our years of experience at living the high life on a dime by deeming ourselves ‘broke girl’ experts and creating an empire called Broke Girl’s Guide. So far, it’s just the two of us, a couple of nickels and good intentions.
‘But what is a broke girl?’ you ask, ‘and how do I know if I need your advice?’ Simply take our quick quiz below to find out.
1. A ‘splurge’ for you is –
a) 3 to 4 pairs of Louboutins
b) shrimp-flavored Ramen noodles
c) a Groupon pedicure at the sketchy place next to your laundromat
d) a ‘T’ by Alexander Wang top for 80% off via Outnet.com
2. An ‘old man’ offers to buy you a cocktail. You –
a) smugly raise your ring finger to show off the giant rock that’s ‘so big, it’s embarrassing!’
b) roll your eyes and walk away, then go home and cry about being single
c) smile, toss your hair and then blurt out ‘”Grey Goose, rocks, make it a double” (so you’ll have plenty to drink even after you’ve blown him off just seconds later)
d) politely decline — it’s happy hour and drinks are a manageable $4.50 (unless, of course, the old man is George Clooney, Mick Jagger or Warren Buffet)
3. For your boyfriend’s birthday, you
a) helicopter him and 20 of his friends to French Laundry for dinner
b) convince his guy friends to take him to a strip club, so you’re completely off the hook
c) book a table at his favorite restaurant. When the check comes, start rubbing his leg under the table so he’ll get ‘confused’ and pay
d) finagle amazing (and amazingly cheap) seats to his favorite band’s performance at the Hollywood Bowl and pack a picnic full of his favorite (homemade) foods
4. You need a new outfit for a big night out. You –
a) send your personal shopper to Barney’s
b) ‘borrow’ from your roommate
c) wear the same dress you wore (gasp) three weeks ago
d) pull from one of the adorable items you’ve stocked up on over the months by shopping via online flash sales and local sample sales
5. Your best friend is getting married and has asked you to throw her bachelorette. You
a) fly the entire bridal party to Vegas on a private jet
b) call the other bridesmaids and flatter them into taking over most of the responsibility (‘but, you’re just so good at this…!’)
c) purposely get into an altercation with the bride, say several horrible things you can never take back and ensure that no one will ask you to be in their bridal party ever again
d) bravely handle the entire production on your own, keeping costs below $200/person and your quips about the divorce rate to a minimum
If you answered anything but ‘a’, welcome to Broke Girl’s Guide (oh, and if you answered ‘a’, we hope you choke on your Black Amex… or become our new BFF — call us!). No matter what stage you’re at in your Broke Girl development (ramen = remedial; leg-rubbing = intermediate; T by Alexander Wang = advanced), we can help.
Sign up for the Broke Girl’s Guide free daily email and check back to Hello Giggles regularly for our tips and tricks on dining, travel, shopping, and just about anything else your little broke heart desires to do on a budget. One day, we’ll all be jet-setters and big spenders (we can’t wait to use ‘yacht’ as a verb), but for now we hope to show you that ‘broke’ ain’t so bad.
Live Large. Spend Small.
xo, Broke Girl’s Guide
PS – Whether you’re a broke girl or not, be sure to check out 2 Broke Girls every Monday at 8.30/7.30c on CBS!