From Our Readers

Pacey Witters of the World, Listen Up

I am so sorry about the recession, downloading and Netflix. It has all led to your demise. Due to this perfect storm, generations to come will not be able to grow up to be, or lust over, Pacey Witter.

Just to make sure everyone is on the same page, Pacey Witter is a fictional character in the much loved teen-drama, Dawson’s Creek (Which by all account’s should have been called Pacey’s Creek, we all knew who ran that ‘hood).

Pacey was armed with a know-it-all sass-a-ma-frass attitude and was loaded with more pop-culture axillary than Kevin Smith. One of the reason’s that Pacey was so knowledgeable and could charm the pants off of his high school English teacher, is because he worked part-time at Screen Play Video. I know all you Dawson-ites out there are like “But Dawson worked there too!” Technically Dawson “worked” there. But we all know that all Dawson did was mope there, just as he moped around Capeside High or Joey Potter’s property. “I’m Dawson, and I’m a sad unappreciated virgin and for some reason these girl’s that are out of my league keep throwing themselves at me, waah!”

But luckily for Dawson he had Pacey by his side to give him confidence ala sarcastic pop-culture banter. Even when good ol’ Pace was hit with a case of Molly Ringwald syndrome. “I thought you and Joey were going to draw out this ‘will they-won’t they’ drama for at least another couple of years. Sam and Diane didn’t get together for at least four seasons and Mulder and Scully…they haven’t even kissed! If you and Joey can get across this romantic checkmate thing you’ve been in for GOD knows how many years…anything is possible!” As well as a dude who tugged at my heart strings, he was a true-blue pal.

I don’t care what anyone says, boys who work at video stores are wittier than your average Joe. They are predominantly slackers, but they are not stupid. They would just rather use their brains to critique the latest floundering Spielberg film than do their English homework. And they are pure geeks –  but in not as much of an obvious way as their video-game geek counter-parts. I mean, look at Randy Meeks from the beloved Scream trilogy. No one but a boy working part time at a video store with an unnatural passion for horror flicks could lay out a list of rules to help his friends survive a horror movie-type massacre. Yes, the majority of them died. But Randy and heroine Sidney survived to tell the tale.

What I am trying to get across here is that boys who work in video stores are awesome. But as video chains like Blockbuster and many independents close up shop, there will no longer be Paceys and Randys in the world.

And yes, selfishly enough, it all comes back to me: what are geeky adolescent girls who loath community centre dances supposed to do with a Friday night. When I was 13 and 14 it was so simple. My awesome friends and I would walk down to the video store and spend at least an hour picking the perfect movie. Which was a moot point, because we usually ended up talking and giggling through said movie. And sometimes a Pacey would come over to help us with our selection or chastise our choice. It was a beautiful process. What was even better, is a movie shop by my house used to have really old horror films from the ’70s. And you could rent three VHS tapes for $5 dollars, so if we all pooled our funds together we could get 3 movies and sour patch kids. If it wasn’t for this, I wouldn’t have beauts such Puppet Master (1 through 4) and Demonic Toys in my repertoire. I know you all wished you were that cool.

I don’t understand what is happening to the world when we can cast such key characters in adolescent growth aside. I am sorry the world has failed you, young idealist Paceys. I’m sorry that I subscribed to Netflix and stopped going to the video store. But I moved and now it’s a really long walk and I had like $35 in late fees, so I feel this atrocity is partly my fault.

But I also realize you don’t stay movie-store Paceys forever.  Maybe some of you grew-up to be Stockbroker Pacey or whiney screen-writer Dawson. Or some Paceys grow up and star in sci-fi shows that don’t make sense and date Diane Krugar (*note, Deanne Kondrat has problems separating actors and the fictional characters they play).  It just makes me sad that this end of an era is closing way too quickly.  But maybe the Paceys of the world will emerge elsewhere.  The teenage girl inside of me can only hope.

I will always love you, Paceys.

By Deanne Kondrat

Feature image via.

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