Dear Dyson Airblade™ Hand Dryer,
I like to think if there were a God, and God invented Man, that God thought to himself “Let’s see what sort of crazy stuff this Man comes up with.” Then God waited for like 9,000 years (or was it, like, 3,000? I’m bad at math), to one day go to the bathroom in the airport and think, “This place is just teeming with germs. There is no way I am touching anything,” then, “Oh fiddle!” (God doesn’t swear you guys, duh) “How the eff (He probably uses slang every now and then, let’s be honest) am I going to dry my freshly washed germ-free hands without contaminating them before I jet off to Cabo? (as if God would vacation in Acapulco, gross).” But then, THEN, God turned around and there, before Him, was a Dyson Airblade™ Hand Dryer, something God thought looked a little bit like a robot or a primitive version of a Cylon (obviously God watched ‘Battlestar Galactica’, I mean He knows a thing or two about good TV obviously) and so God slowly dangled His wet hands into the high-powered air stream and didn’t touch anything and when He took His hands out, His Hands were not only germ-free but they were dry. Then God knew, He just like KNEW, you guys, that He did real good with this Man stuff.
So what I mean to say to you, the amazing Dyson Airblade™ Hand Dryer, is that you are, as they say, The Bomb.
Regards,
Stamos
Featured Image via ArchiExpo
These are all over Europe. I just finished backpacking through France, Belgium, and the Netherlands for three weeks and saw them in almost every train station and in half the restaurant bathrooms.
It’s amazing. I’ve only used and seen it in one place here in Michigan. More public places need them especially schools.
Dyson is just a fluid dynamics god.
I dream of a full body version for at home but you would have to close your eyes because, as Dana said above, it does very unpretty things to the skin.
But when will they design one for heads? Think of the thousands of man and woman-hours that would be saved?
I first came across this wondrous invention while traveling to Cancun at the San Francisco airport and was in such awe of is fantastic-ness I think I drooled a little and might have rinsed my hands in the sink several times just so I could do it all over again.
Okay, I totally agree that this insane hand dryer is great, but WHY does is it need to be called the “Airblade”?? I have this weird instinct to *not* want to stick my limbs into something that has “blade” right there in the name. JUST SAYIN’.
Actually, God probably would have seen the Mitsubishi Jet Towel (as they predate the Airblade by a good 12 years) or told James Dyson that God had already made waterfalls, but thanks for trying (do you the sides of those things?)
I want to put one in my bathroom.
These things ARE the best at drying hands, however I’m always disturbed to see how the loose skin on my hands looks midway through drying — like a septuagenarian being launched into space…
Yes, I’ve only ever seen these in one place, the Water Tower Place, but I love them.
There should be a public bathroom invented so that people don’t have to touch anything but toilet paper if they need it.
Oh, Annie. Your wit and humor never cease to amaze and inspire me. Best open letter yet.
I agreee, I love this thing <3