Open Letters

An Open Letter to Soup

 

Dear Soup,

Oh Soup. Soup, soup, soup. Whatever would I do without you? I am so glad the internet was invented so that I tell you how I really feel (that is what the internet is for, after all. That, and cat videos) . You see, Soup, you have been an old friend to me and I firmly believe you are unjustly underrated as far as liquefied food items are concerned (along with applesauce, chocolate pudding, and drinkable yogurt).

When I was but a small child I didn’t like you. Certainly not when you were a consommé that tasted like an overcooked beef jerky had been tossed in a blender with chicken broth and a rabbit’s foot. I mean, sure, the occasional letter-shaped noodle was fun and I ate you when I was sick, but did I like you? No, no I did not.

But then I met Tomato Soup. Ah Tomato Soup!  What a delight YOU are! I only regret that I did not discover the joys of dipping a grilled cheese sandwich into a bowl of tomato soup at a younger age – because that, my friend, well that is certainly one of the primo joys of life, right up there with the smell of freshly-cut grass, mocking Katherine Heigl’s teeth and the satisfaction of meeting an ex who has gained lots of weight.

And then came Chicken Noodle and Minestrone (low sodium versions too!). Both of which were true to form and, as they say, “yummy in my tummy.” (They being me).

I’ll never forget the time I visited my Jewish cousins in New York City and supped upon my first taste of Matzo Ball Soup. Oh, Sweet Jesus (literally! He was Jewish, you know), this stuff is good. Matzo Ball Soup is the gateway soup to the world of exotic soups. Soups like Cheddar Broccoli and Carrot Ginger (yes, those qualify as exotic in that they are served quite regularly at the Whole Foods salad bar). Then there is my favorite soup, the Soup of Soups – yes, you know what I am talking about: Potato Leek. Potato Leek Soup is what I imagine it might be like if you turned mashed potatoes into a well-blended substance you could guzzle up like Gatorade. In other words: delicious.

And do not even get me started on Gazpacho. Holy hotcakes, that stuff is wild. Do. Not. Even.

Do. Not.

But I don’t love soup simply because it is tasty. Oh no, for the modern working gal on a budget (aka, me or Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story) soup is the ideal food. It is easy to find, it has a long shelf-life, it is oftentimes portable, it is healthy (enough), it is filling, it can easily be used as a weapon when canned, and most importantly it is very inexpensive. That isn’t to say that the kings and queens and Ashton Kutcher’s step-children of the world should not be eating soup – in fact, some people suggest that to keep a slim figure, soup is the way to go! In this case, “some people” refers to the outdated Gourmet magazine I found in my doctor’s office last week. It was under a Reader’s Digest and on top of a Highlights. I know what you are thinking, and yes! My doctor’s office exists in 1992!

But I digress! The point is simple: Soup, you are great and that is that.

 

Warm Regards,

Stamos

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