Open Letters An Open Letter to LMFAO Annie Stamell

Dear LMFAO,

Oh man. You guys. You guys are crazy! What with your big hair and your ambiguous ethnicity and your hipster glasses that may or may not be prescription (are they? Do you really need those glasses? Are you nearsighted or farsighted?) and your rockstar party lifestyle and your almost-too-perfectly ripped jeans – I mean, I can’t even keep up with all that crazy! It’s so crazy that I am confused! For example, I may have read somewhere you are comprised of an uncle and a nephew. Is this true? If so, do you compete in any special Uncle-Nephew competitions? Because maybe you should consider doing some! You boast of your dancing skills so I imagine you’d be quite agile. I feel as though somewhere in Minnesota you could compete in an Uncle-Nephew Logrolling competition – look into that!

Now, regarding your band – what does LMFAO stand for? I mean, sure there’s the obvious “Laughing My F-ing Ass Off” but maybe it means “Ladies’ Men For All Occasions” or “Lovely Massages Free All October” or “Let My Fangs Assassinate Ostriches” or “Leave Me For Antarctica, Okay?” or “Libertines Make Fantastic American Orthodontists!” And is it just the two of you? Or are there somewhere in the range of six to twenty of you? Because this one time I was watching So You Think Think You Can Dance and you performed and I did not know who was an LMFAO, who was a dancer, who was the cranky British guy who hates Ryan Seacrest, who was Mary Murphy’s drug dealer, who was Cat Deeley’s legs or like if there is a chick in your band or if that was one of the girls from S Club 7? And what ever happened to S Club 7? And what’s with the robot?

And if we’re being totally honest with each other, I must let you know I think you made up this whole shuffling thing. Furthermore, I think that people who are especially prone to not picking up their feet when walking have a real advantage at this new dance move. Wait, is that why you invented this shuffling? Are you guys really prone to not picking up your feet when you walk? Perhaps you are not so agile after all. Let’s reconsider the logrolling competition, okay?

Well, anyway, you guys seem fun and just let me know if you can maybe answer some of my questions or if you want me to assist you in your partying like rockstars or shuffling or finding out what happened to S Club 7.

Fond Regards,

Stamos

Featured Image via rnbxbeatz.com

comments

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  1. brilliant! I love all of your posts!

  2. ps Jerk is my nickname and twitter handle. @Jenniferthejerk

  3. Dear Stamos,

    I adore your open letters. That is all.

    Warmest wishes,

    Jerk

  4. Omigosh, I LOVED S Club 7! It would be sick if the chick from S Club was in that group!

  5. Hahaha I loved this!! i was just gushing over LMFAO! it’s only the two of them, Stefen and Skyler Gordy. Son and grandson to Motown record label founder Barry Gordy (freakin awesome) however, i don’t know who that guy was on SYTYCD, the robot is from the video for “Party Rock Anthem” the girl singer was a featured artist Lauren Bennett who is an american singer formerly from the girl group Paradise Girls. she’s also done work with Will.I.Am on “I got it From My Mamma” she is also a model and you can see her in the Pussycat Dolls workout DVDs. And as far as Shuffling goes it was invented in Melbourne, Australia in the ’80s hence the name Melbourne Shuffle. The kids who did the shuffle were called rockers due to the popularity of doing the shuffle to rock music. it wasn’t until the late ’90s that it became popular in hip hop when gliding and the running man were incorporated into the dance.

  6. I saw that So You Think You Can Dance episode and many of these same questions came to mind! Of course, I wouldn’t have articulated them as humorously as you did. They are very confusing, but fun. Fun. Fun. Fun.

  7. Yeah, they didn’t invent shuffling. Shuffling has been around for a very long time. It’s actually an amazing dance when done right but they just make it look retarded.

  8. Hahah awesome! I would’ve thought they made up shuffling too but kids have been doing it for years! Youtube it!

  9. Because we definitely have log-rolling contests in Minnesota ALL THE TIME. Yeah…

  10. “I’m Sky Blue with the big-ass fro, never wear lenses in my glasses, yo.”
    Answers the glasses debacle for ya :)

  11. Ha! Love your letter…I asked Red Foo and Sky Blue who was the better shuffler…and that was a big mistake….What I got was a description of their man parts, and the challenges that ensues when one is well endowed. Apparently size matters when it comes to shufflin’ at high speeds. Uncle Foo explained that in his situation… It’s all about the growin’ – not the showin’. “…every day i’m shufflin’”

  12. Hahaha! I had no idea LMFAO could be short for so much..

  13. Please find out what happened to S Club 7! I’m starting to get worried.

  14. haha love this! I’m a Minnesotan, and though I have not yet seen or heard of any Uncle-Nephew Logrolling competitions in the area, I will keep an eye out for you.

  15. hahaha, love this <3

  16. I lol’d.

  17. This post was awesome!! The S Club 7 reference. Genius, my friend!

  18. Wow. S Club 7…. She really does look like one of the girls from it!

  19. I love S Club 7

  20. hahahahahah i love it!