From Our Readers

An Open Letter to Guys on OkCupid

Dear Guys on OKCupid,

While I (sort of) admire your persistent nature, sending me four messages in one day does not make you appear more attractive. It does, however, make you appear creepy.

Speaking of attractiveness, I accept your decision to have lots of tattoos/piercings/weird facial hair. I could possibly, maybe, be persuaded that they are appealing (even though I’m really more into the whole clean-cut thing). But, I have to tell you, those extreme close-up, blurry mirror photos that you took are, well, lets just say, they’re blurry mirror photos you took of yourself; with your phone.

Also, wearing a shirt would help your case. No man’s abs are nice enough to make up for the lack of clothing. Except maybe Matt Barr’s, and I doubt you’re him.

Oh, and I know this is incredibly hard to believe, but I do not want to have a threesome with you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever. The fact that you had your “significant other” send this message for you doesn’t help. Oh, and I don’t want/need to be dominated. But thank you (I guess?).

I’m not sure what about my bio makes me seem as though I am someone who wants to date guys who are holding swords and/or dressed up in weird costumes in every single one of their self-taken photos, but please let me know what it is. So that I can remove it.

Finally, a shocking piece of advice, maybe you’d like to read my profile before you message me? And, in response to your verbose message where you wrote, “have sex with me”: Ew, no!

Sincerely,

That Girl you messaged

P.S. Not to be a bitch, but there’s a difference between their/there/they’re. And “sexxxxy” is normally spelled with one “x” .

You can read more from Emma Thomas on her blog and follow her on Twitter.

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