Open Letters

An Open Letter to Ancient Aliens

Dear Ancient Aliens,

Sometimes I go hang out at my older brother’s house for arts-n-crafts nights and the other night we were painting pictures of birds and trees and desert landscapes, which got my brother’s girlfriend talking about some mysterious place in Mexico called the “Zone of Silence” and the next thing I know arts-n-crafts night is on hold and my brother is Netflix-ing this documentary on you guys (I’ll explain Netflix to you later, you aliens are so ancient I bet you don’t even know what a computer is!) and HOLY MOLY, YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY! Now, I know I say that to a lot of people that I write letters to but this time, I mean it!

Why, look at all the crazy stuff you ancient aliens did! You built pyramids and you traveled through wormholes through portals made of rock on mountainsides in Peru and were all like, “Hey people! We’re Gods. Suck it!” and dumped some other rocks to tell time in Stonehenge and you could even be our ancestors – like maybe, as one of the “historians” in the documentary said, you guys were the first humans and we were the new humans and you taught us stuff but maybe also some of you stuck around to make sure we did things right.  Which explains a lot about certain people (Tilda Swinton, Celine Dion, Giuliana Rancic, Prince) but also makes me wonder a few things about the originality of the storyline for Battlestar Galactica – and if you have not watched BSG then you need to Netflix it, ASAP. Netflix!

Netflix is this nifty system on the computer or streaming mobile device or gaming console where you just get someone else’s login and password and mess around with the movies they have set aside to watch until they get an e-mail asking how they enjoyed the “quality of Psych: Season 3” or something.

I hope you ancient aliens get what I’m trying to say here.  Truth be told, I find you a little bit scary to think of but mostly really cool and I’m also curious if you could pass along any info about unicorns and where they went and that kind of thing.

Sincere Regards,



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  • Brian Vratoric

    So true, I honestly think there’s maybe 5 real netflix accounts that get passed around lol, no one has their own netflix account.

  • Colleen McPhee Pinto

    Bahaha. I have Netflix, and just finished watching S1-4 of Psych and now have S5 coming in on DVD.

  • Katie Freeland

    LOL I actually have gotten that Psych S3 email because my family all shares a Netflix account. Fantastic.

  • Sheila Carrasco

    You are the voice of a new generation. If the Ancient Aliens ever write back- (how would they? Look out for the signs!), I want you to speak for us. Also ask them what we should do with all these plastic bags and bottles everywhere. Thank you Stamos.

  • Diana Zapata

    i was totally gonna make a BSG-related comment, I’m glad you beat me to it.

  • Nikki Prowse

    Ahahahahaha. This is like all we’ve been watching lately. That, and taboo. At first, I was like, this is sooooo nerdy. And then I came home and my husband was watching without me and I got super mad!!! Thems my true feelings aparently. This show is so crazy! I love the guy and always says, “some koind” with a weird accent.

  • Charles Constantine

    Think about the story line to the last Indiana Jones after watching Ancient Aliens.
    Besides the fencing/swinging through the trees crap. Oh and well just Shia in general.

  • Amanda Kosobucki

    Amazing……I’m currently obsessed with this series myself. Thanks for writing a letter for both of us.

  • Eugene Rodolfo

    amazing okey fine

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