Dear Lap Desk (and Bed),
Oh Lap Desk! You are my Lebowski Rug. You tie my life together. You cater to me, and to people like me. What kind of people is that, you ask? The kind of people who wake up and get out of bed in the morning and then go do whatever it is they do and spend most of the day thinking about how to get right back into bed. Those are my kind of people. In other words, if there was a way I could live in my bed then I would. I don’t mean this in like a gross, “I want to get obese and bedridden” kind of way but in the sense that my bed is so incredibly comfortable and delightful and happy that if I were able to run a country from my bed, don’t think I wouldn’t try (and probably fail), but the point here is that I want to do everything in my bed because it is the most comfortable place in the world.
So that’s where you come in, Lap Desk. And also, Other People Reading This. Now knowing the above , imagine how you changed my life. IMAGINE IT! AND THEN HOW IMAGINE HOW A LAP DESK CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
Okay, if you can’t imagine it, then I will provide you with a personal anecdote to explain why you should get into the Lap Desk game (get it? That’s how these letters work, you see):
My brother gave me a lap desk for my birthday a few years ago. My lap desk is a simple, black plastic clipboard on one side and a cushiony bean bag pillow on the other. I have put stickers on it and keep the lap desk just next to my nightstand. That is, when I am not using it to do work or paint my nails or write in a journal or read a magazine or to just like, think about the coolest invention ever a.k.a. the lap desk.
I use my lap desk every day. Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking “do you mean to say that you are in your bed every day? Like, during the day?” to which I would like to tell you YES that is it exactly! I am someone who can do my job entirely from my computer (WRITER) and therefore anywhere in the world. So where else in the world would I want to write besides my incredibly comfortable bed. NOWHERE!
Anyway. Other people should invest in lap desks. The lap desk is the primo indulgence for people who are both incredibly lazy and extraordinarily driven. People like this think things like: “I don’t want to get out of my bed but I have a lot of things to accomplish today” and “surely there is a way I can teach myself how to summon objects with my mind!” And for some of those people, a lap desk makes one of those things possible!
Yeah, yeah it’s just a lap desk and it’s not going to do my work for me, fine. But there’s something extraordinary about laying in bed, surrounded by comfortable pillows and bedding and candles and soft lighting and a Lucky Bamboo plant and some nice pictures of family members and friends and also maybe a box of Kleenex for my stuffy nose and definitely some chapstick and that makes it just so insanely comfortable and happy, and therefore any work you are doing in your bed is then, suddenly and obviously, a delight.
Maybe some people would worry about falling asleep, and to those people I say, yes sometimes that does happen but most of the time it doesn’t, especially when you drink an excessive amount of caffeine or have some sort of weird latent form of adult ADHD like me.
Anyway, I love you lap desk and bed and I have written you this letter from MY BED AND MY LAP DESK is that meta or what.
Lap desk on a bed photo by Annie Stamell