I Should Not Be Reviewing Movies

All Is Fair In Love And Bromances

Bromances rank high on my list of cute things, right in-between dogs cuddling with other dogs and love letters written by dead presidents. And I have to say, the best part of this week’s movie, This Means War, was the double scoop of BFFs. The first bestie duo is played by sex-kittens Chris Pine and Tom Hardy. Holy crap. These are two really good-looking men. It is worth the ticket money just to see Chris Pine’s gigantic face on the movie screen. Get real on how dreamy this guy is. These two guys play CIA agents or spies or something. Okay, I don’t really know, but I also don’t think it matters. The point is, they both fall in love with Reese Witherspoon. After realizing they are both chasing the same girl, they set some ground rules, namely that no girl will ever come between the two of them and their bromance. Cute, huh? I love me a man who loves another man! Wait a second…what I mean is, I like guys who have a best friend. That way when Oprah’s Master Class comes on they have somewhere to go.

What I like most about this story is that it is really relatable to me. If I had a dollar for every time two CIA agents were fighting over my love, I’d still be dead-ass broke. Believe it or not, that has never happened to me. In fact, the only people that have ever fought over me were my dogs when I was holding a cheeseburger. And I feel safe in saying that it’s not something that very many other women can relate to either.

There are a lot of bad things I could say about this movie. I might mention that the storyline is trite, been done a million times. I might mention that the action is contrived: money falling from the sky, people hanging off buildings, holster to head gunplay. There is even a scene where Reese dances around her apartment in an oversized shirt sans pants. But none of that really matters to me, because I straight up enjoyed every minute of this movie. I laughed from start to finish, hard. And there is a slow-mo scene of Chelsea Handler’s face that busted me up so bad I had to unbutton my pants. Actually, that might have been my Cheesecake Factory dinner. I can’t really be sure. However, I know that I would rather judge a movie by how funny it was than how many Oscars I think it will win. Which, for the record, zero. I predict this film will win zero Oscars.

As for Lady Handler and her lady-mance with Reese, it is equally cute and hilarious. Reese seems like that super-nice friend that you start a book club with and call when you get dumped. Chelsea seems like the kind of pal you invite over when you want to get drunk and prank call people or when you need to be bailed out of jail. Both seem like necessities in a best friend arsenal.

P.S. If you haven’t seen Chelsea’s interview on The Rosie Show, might I recommend catching a re-run. It’s kind of amazing.

 You should see this movie if: you feel like laughing and staring at good-looking people, duh.

Photos from and here

I wanna know: What did you think of This Means War? What kind of friends do you keep in your arsenal? And what movie should I see this weekend?

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