Am I the only one who thinks posting a selfie on social media is the vainest thing a person can do? Would you print out a photo of your face and pass it out to 100 of your friends just because? Oh no, you wouldn’t? Then do not use the internet to do so, either.
Let’s take a moment to break down the 10 different types of selfies we are all guilty of posting so that we may begin to take strides to make all of these extinct one day:
1. The “I’m Bored” Selfie. Whether you’re bored in your car, bored in a waiting room at your doctor’s office, or bored at home watching TV, please do not feel the need to take a photo of this and post it for all to see. Guess what? I’m really bored at the doctor’s office too, but that’s why they have Highlights Magazine stacked up in the waiting room.
2. The “I’m At an Event” Selfie. Oh, you’re at a Justin Timberlake concert? Guess what’s way more exciting for all of your Instagram followers to see? A photo of the concert! Some acceptable shots: the performer, the stage, the crowd, the lights, even the line for the ladies room during ‘Cry Me a River’.
3. The “Funny” Selfie. The culprit is most likely a self-proclaimed “comedian”. Stop trying to disguise the fact that you just posted a photo of your face online by making a weird or goofy expression. These will most likely be captioned with something like “I’m such a nerd!” or “just being silly”.
4. The “Hashtag” Selfie. These are the worst kind of selfie. Just because you put a pound sign in front of an adjective does not mean it’s any less vain. If you post a selfie and hashtag any of the following: #me #cute #pretty #beauty; you might as well just caption it “I’m so pretty, look at how pretty I am you guys!”
5. The “Bragging” Selfie. Does anyone understand the value of being humble these days? We seem to forget the difference between appreciating an accomplishment and gloating to the world. Can we all be a bit more #modest?
6. The “Mirror” Selfie. This is most likely taken in a bathroom of a bar or a messy bedroom. Guess what is not a flattering backdrop for your photo? Toilet stalls or your pile of dirty laundry and unmade bed.
7. The “I Have a Cool Job” Selfie. This type of selfie is posted so that the postee can hypothetically shout from the rooftops that they have a cooler job than you. These are easy to identify because the postee will usually include a hashtag to remind you that they do in fact have the coolest of jobs. Some examples: #productionlife #producer #producerlife #tv #setlife #onset #werk #thatsawrap
8. The “We Are SO in Love” Selfie. Having breakfast with your boyfriend on your couch on Wednesday morning is not proving to me how in love you are. Having a private life seems almost obsolete now that we function solely on social media. Make an effort to keep some photos to yourself. My parents have been married for 30 years and they somehow manage to survive each day without posting a photo of the two of them on Instagram.
9. The “My New…” Selfie. My new haircut, spray tan, eyebrow wax, you name it. The world does not need to see that your hairdresser cut off an inch.
10. The “I Never Post Selfies, But…” Selfie. This is not a disclaimer that makes posting a selfie acceptable because you chose to caption it with this statement.
Years from now you want to look back on your digital photo album and recall all of the memories and moments you had the chance to experience through-out your lifetime. So come on kids, be more creative. You have the ability to chronicle your life in photographs for thousands to see. Make that photo something worthwhile.
Sara lives and works in New York City. She loves lobster rolls and Law and Order SVU marathons. Her life goals include: maintaining a savings account, living in an apartment with a washer and dryer, and never having to pay more than $45 for blonde highlights. She has one child; a pug named Roxy. You can find her on Twitter @sarashae
Featured Image via Shutterstock.