I’ve been sitting on the sidelines patiently waiting for things to move in another direction, but Christina seems hell bent on treating you poorly. As an America citizen, inaction feels like the real crime. I’m ready to swoop in and help you but I need to know that you’ve done everything on your end to effect change. Am I victimizing the victim? I hope not.
Look, no one is denying that you deserve attention. You’re spectacular and mysterious and special. That’s why it hurts me to see this:
In the words of Billy Crystal, “It’s not funny, it’s not fun.”
And I’m going to say it, I think she’s taking advantage of you. Your work on Mad Men is extraordinary… Are you SAG? I’m not making a pun, I’m being really serious. Are you getting residuals? Because you should be and I have no problem going to bat for you on that front as well. I mean, look:
You’re doing exactly what you should be here. You’re upbeat, confident, stern, a little aggressive but with a warmth that whispers, “Top o’ the morning.”
Do you know how many boobies would give their left nipple to have that kind of emotional range?? And next thing I know, she’s got you out in public like this:
You don’t even have a chance to do what you do best because you’re being suffocated within an inch of your life.
And believe me, I think you should be celebrated. You don’t need to be cloaked in cloth and hidden but when you’re up so high it just feels like you can’t be your fully realized self. I mean….come on.
This next pic is where I have to bring your accountability into question.
This is perfection. You look present, sexy, self-assured and at ease. Now, the question I’m going to pose to you is: Did you let Christina know how you felt? At the end of the night, when the dress came off and you climbed into bed, moments before that eager husband of hers made his move, did you say thank you ? If you didn’t then I need you to ask yourself why.
The thing is, I think you’ve done your part in contributing to a healthier overall attitude towards beauty. We had a string of years where hipbones and collarbones were all the rage.
Now with likes of you and the Vergara Girls on the red carpet, real woman are celebrating their curves. Christina needs to know that this is a marathon not a sprint. WE SEE YOU. We can’t help but to.
I want you to know that I’m here. I’m on high alert and I’m ready. I’m going to give “C.H.” one more chance to get it right but if I see you like this one more time…
I’m stepping in. It’s enough already.