From Our Readers
A Year of Thinking Positively
by From Our Readers
A relative once told me that I was born old and depressed. I’m not sure how true this is, though I do know that my moods tend to shade towards the cynical. I also happen to be living proof of the fact that we are our own harshest critics. In fact, when asked for a word to describe my personality, one of my instructors chose “Eeyore-like.” While a certain amount of self-criticism is healthy, dip too deep into it and terrible stuff starts to happen. For me, criticism turns into loathing and then I turn into this vile, hatred-spewing troll of a person. It’s an ugly thing, but when it happened most recently, the spark was realizing that most of my friends are happily coupled and that I’m still not, something’s wrong, I must be a horrible person, you get the idea. I decided to nip it in the bud with positive thinking.
Well, I first gave the self-loathing to the main character in the novel that I wrote for National Novel Writing Month. Then I started searching for a more uplifting mindset and I came upon this one elemental truth: My life is not that bad. So why not go back over this year and identify one good thing that has happened in each month? It doesn’t have to be a life-changing event. It could even be something as small as a compliment or something that made me laugh. My goal is not to keep score. It’s simply about remembering good things so that when I start thinking that my life is awful, I have evidence to prove myself wrong.
I’m well aware that bad things happen. My brother killed himself eight years ago because of harassment at work. Almost three years ago my dad lost his job because one of his coworkers decided to fund their gambling problem by stealing from the company. Last year on Labor Day weekend my mom, who is in her fifties, was hospitalized for a stroke a week after having an emergency appendectomy and I almost lost someone who I love more than anything. I’m not asking for pity though, because there’s a good side to all of this. I’ve learned strength and compassion from my brother, two traits that serve me well as an enlisted leader in the military. My dad has his job back and my mom has made a complete recovery. Life for my family isn’t perfect but it has gotten better.
So, back to the list. Here’s a snapshot of my year of positive thinking…
January: Started a blog about one of my favorite topics (baseball). Not that many people read it, but it makes me happy.
April: Visited my cousin in St. Louis for the first time and found a totally awesome nerd-sister.
June: Watched U2 perform live in Baltimore. They were one of my brother’s favorite bands and their music always reminds me of him.
August: My choir sang the national anthem for the Orioles, right next to home plate at Camden Yards!
September: Took my dad to his first major league ballgame in Washington, DC. We watched the Nationals play the Dodgers and we got rained out, but I got to share one of my loves with my family.
November: Went to New Mexico and spent the week of Thanksgiving with my best friend. We went to the top of Sandia Peak and the beauty of what I saw still floors me.
I plan to end this year on a high note by treating three of my friends to a local comedy show. They make me smile when I need it most, so the best I can do is return some of that happiness. Can you think of something that made you smile in each month of this year? Try it. I’ll bet that you can come up with some great memories. Even better, why not keep it going into January and beyond? If a chronic mope like me can benefit from it, I know that you can too.
You can read more from Shelby Miksch on her blog.
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12.30.2011 |
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Reading this made me smile. Perfect timing, just in time for this year to end and a new one to start. Thanks for making me smile. I can relate to you in the sense that most people I know see me as a grumpy person. No one has yet got the nerves to tell me how I am but I do have a sister who openly tells me that my negativity drains everyone’s positive vibes, when they’re around me
You’re welcome! Glad that I could bring a smile. As for me, it’s a mixed blessing that I am surrounded by well-intentioned but merciless friends, family and coworkers who will tell me when I am being too much of a schmoe.
So glad you wrote this Shelby. It really struck a chord with me… I made a conscious decision to think positively four years ago after becoming too “Eeeyore-like”. I also decided to cut any negative or draining people from my life, and the results have been great. I wish you well for 2012 x
Thank you, Leah! It’s taken me a lot of work to get to this point but I finally figured out that the only person who could stop my bad attitude was me. Now that I have a different focus I can breathe a little easier. I wish you the best in the New Year also!
Good for you. I like to post “what I’m thankful for” posts on FB almost daily.
I’ve seen folks do that, and if it works, cool! I think that a lot of people could use a breath of fresh air to remember that we do have a lot to be grateful for.
This is a great article and what I really needed to read this morning – I try your approach of thinking positively too, but I am also a negative grump by nature, and every so often I need to be reminded to be positive. Really great piece though, I’m sure I’ll be rereading it in future weeks.
Thank you, Sara! I’m glad that you enjoyed this article. It’s been hard for me to tackle this new approach and to make it stick, but I know that if I just keep at it I can make my corner of the world a little bit brighter.
Great job Shelby. I remember the ‘schmoo’ from Lil’ Abner (cartoon strip a long time ago…back when all they were meant to do was entertain instead of being preachy about social values and the like)…he was eeyore personified! Poor guy (looked like a smurf actually) always had a rain cloud over his head. The amazing thing about rain though is that it clears the air and helps things grow. If you can work with that then 2012 will be a good one for you. Here’s to you my little chickadee, fantastic writer and strong spirited ginger. I love you lots, Mom
Thanks, Mom! You’ve set a great example for me and given me a lot for which I am truly grateful. One thing I’ve learned from you is that negative things do happen, but how we deal with it and how well we bounce back is ultimately up to us. Thank you for being a strong, creative inspiration.