A Word About Cupcakes

Hello, my fellow females. Hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to take a moment to sit down with you and talk about those tiny cakes we commonly refer to as cupcakes. The ones they sell at those stores with names like “Sweet Relief” or “Sugar Kisses” or “Diabetes”. The ones that Sex & The City apparently made famous. The ones that incur screeching and clapping from grown-ass ladies. The ones that come decorated with adorable designs that make me think I might be eating children’s wrapping paper rather than food. Those cakes.

Listen, I took some women’s studies classes. I learned a thing a two about how great we are. But I’ll tell you what takes us back a few steps in the boss-lady movement, and that’s going all-out bats**t crazy over these things. I’m not saying you shouldn’t eat them, make them or appreciate them, but I don’t know when it became a thing where women react to cupcakes as though they’re living in a third world village that just got a shipment of fresh drinking water. I mean, I’ve been to a bakery or two (or twelve, or forty) where I’ve seen women literally trample each other to get to the last red velvet cupcake – I’ve witnessed actual arguments stem from an announcement that ‘the buttercream frosting’ is sold out. You guys are aware that we still get paid less than men, right?

I’m all for enthusiasm about desserts. I love a treat as much as the next person. But this phenomenon has gotten out of hand. It’s time to take a step back and put these baby cakes in their rightful place, like say, your mouth. Just make sure you don’t have a toddler-sized freak out every time you do so.

Feature image via Natalie Dee

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