See, it all started this week with my supersonic sniffer and its keen discerning of good fragrances from bad. I was sitting on the couch in my living room the other night with my husband, watching Insidious. Totally creepy movie. I’m still not sleeping right but I digress.
Halfway through the movie, we paused it and I got up to pee and refuel my popcorn with white cheddar shake-seasoning. Have you guys ever used that on your popcorn? Seriously? It’s like, the devil in disguise. It’s so deliciously delectable and really, really gives you the experience of being in the movie theater in your very own home but the next day it’s like you’ve been sucking on a six-inch salt lick. Do you know how obvious fine facial lines are after ingesting something like that? Not pretty.
Anyway, I came back into the living room after dumping a half-pound of the garbage over my popcorn and sat on the floor for a change of scenery and softness. The minute I sat down, I sniffed the air and said, “What the hell is that smell?” My husband smiled at me guiltily to which I responded, “No, not that smell – I heard that out in the kitchen. That … mildewy dog smell?”
The movie remained on pause while I investigated the source of the stink. After a few minutes and a few impatient “huh”s from my husband, I proudly declared the source of the smell: THE CARPET. See, we live in an old, renovated farm house and some of the areas are still the original work, I swear. Not, you know, the carpet – that’d mean the thing’s a century old and (despite the smell) that’s just not true, but we live in a relatively humid area of the country and the house sits on a crawlspace due to the dense moisture content of the ground. In short? In the summer, the (already old) carpet begins to smell like the great outdoors, which is not always a good thing. My husband said, “Great. Now we know. The carpet stinks. Can we put the movie back on now, please?” We did, but not before I made my passionate declaration that we’d be heading to Lowe’s in the morning to pick out a brand new carpet, complete with premium, rubber-backed carpet pad.
To shorten an agonizing, whole-day-long selection process into a few words, the installer is coming today and for that, I am thankful. I am also thankful for the other bright spot in the week that not only has my morning sickness completely subsided but also that my energy level has returned to an almost-normal level. I can do stuff now! I can clean the entire house in one fell swoop, attend my daughter’s friends’ birthday parties without dozing off halfway through AND spend the day at the beach without becoming increasingly irritable at the heat (the heat at the beach in the middle of summer … crazy, I know). A few more weeks and I might actually be able to head back to my Zumba classes. If this sedentary lifestyle of eating ranch Pringles and raspberry lemon bars hasn’t gotten to me first, anyway. I suppose we’ll just have to see how it plays out after I see the doctor in a few days, and who knows – maybe I’ll “luck out” and not have to go to a single exercise class for the remaining six months of my pregnancy and have a valid excuse. It could happen, you know?