Say Anything
Life could use a healthy dose of 1980′s romantic comedy. You know, a good “pretty cry” scene, a break-up chase in the rain and a finale with a monologue so emotionally riveting that it stops someone dead in their tracks. Who knows, maybe even a laughing-for-no-reason ride into the sunset where a perfectly good hat gets tossed into the air. Perhaps it’s the universality of hipsterism (thanks Forever) or a cultural reaction to technology, but we could all use a little more time outside the coolness zone. Everything about us is summed up in our Hipstamatic photo galleries and broadcast to everyone we’ve ever met so it’s hard to let go of what other people think. Amazingly, it’s okay to be yourself to the Nth degree on a subway in New York, but for some reason it’s considered totally weird anywhere else. I, for one, celebrate large jewelry-encrusted acrylic nails, throw-back hair-dos, PDA, and more dudes winning your heart with nothing but an over-sized boom-box. ‘Cause even if a girl doesn’t love you, she sure as hell love that someone felt that way about her. In fact, she’ll probably retell it fondly for the rest of her life.
John Cusack having a deep convo in the rain
There was something pure and innocent about the ideology of the ’80s romantic comedy. The characters was pure of heart and the stories elevated the will of humanity. There were dorks, preppies, jocks, stoners and popular girls, but the underdogs were always the bravest; maybe even more so than Harry Potter. Even a popular lead would have their eyes set on a seemingly impossible dream. By the time the music crescendoed and the end monologue was delivered, an intoxicating level of romance was built up almost inducing an adrenaline rush.
Evil people hate baseball
Now every movie character is super-powered, ripped, and also happens to be a vampire. It’s the perfect people with blonde hair vs. the perfect people with black hair, and everyone already knows how to do everything awesomely. The never-losing-your-cool attitude only works if there’s a whole population of people that are diverse and extroverted, and you’re the mysterious drifter from another town. The truth ain’t so bad. I’d like to see more of the dorks pursuing the popular girl with a secret heart of gold. The people that don’t know how to dance, dancing. The tone-deaf singing Whitney Houston at karaoke. We should all have a monologue about loving someone since you were 5 years old.
Sweet innocent Ducky from "Pretty in Pink"
Aside from all the romance, there’s a great reason for letting go and running towards your dream heart-first. Trying for something with all your might and letting go of the outcome is a wonderful feeling. It gives you permission to forgive yourself when things don’t come out the way you wanted them to. One of my favorite sayings is “If I got to decide my life, I’d always get short-handed.” Because sometimes that thing you want is not what’s best for you and something much better is in store, you just had to learn a little lesson first.
Best. Scene. Ever. "Sixteen Candles"
A curse of the over-achiever, self-blame is a painful habit and nothing more than a waste of valuable energy. If you blame yourself for not getting a job, not being loved by peers, not winning a game or not winning a guy, let go of it. It’s got nothing to do with you or your worth. It only has to do with it not being right. If you try your hardest, that’s all you can ever do, and if they don’t get you, then they are not worth you. What is most valuable is the honesty of your intentions, and if you know that, that’s all you ever need to love yourself. If you continue to try your hardest with all your heart, you’ll find a worthy recipient for you and your values. It’s just the way life works. (This does not pertain to anything that would cause injury to another person, or is illegal in any way, just FYI.)
Sally being melted by Harry's epic monologue
What do you want for yourself? Write it down or cut out a picture of it and post it on a wall. Or, do what I did and make a “vision board” -a collage of symbolic images and phrases cut out from all over the place, affixed to a board (So crafty, I know). Keep your eye on it whatever it is, remind yourself of it often, and slowly you will begin to take action. Action is the most important part, because if you never put it out there, you’re never really in the game. For every time you feel like you failed, take comfort in knowing that your intentions were true and good and let it go. You might be surprised at how often you are rewarded for your bravery. It brings about an accessibility that is welcoming and attractive to people. You become more able to see beauty around you and more comes back to you in return: more experience, more friends, more knowledge that you might have previously assumed you already had.
A scene from "Synecdoche, New York", a movie that totally frickin went for it. So impressive and original.
Openness is like anti-aging, life-enhancing elixir. It allows for changes in perspective that most people are incapable of achieving. Like a hardened muscle or a sprain that never heals right, so many people hold onto an impression or a fear and solidify it into a thick window that obscures their view. With fresh perspective and the ability to be open to new insights and experiences you will retain a peace that only comes from understanding. To surrender to the current and to let go of fault, blame and remorse, what you are left with is self-love and limitless potential.
Daniel-san going for it
In my 80′s movie scene that I enacted as a five-year-old, I was the princess from The Never Ending Story, and I was in my crumbing kingdom calling out to the horse (not the little boy) to come save me. The music would get louder, and the wind would blow, (I would be standing in the top of a tree). As soon as I was given a name (movie plot point), I would have the best galloping horseback ride ever across the universe of my backyard. It was epic.
The lovely princess from The Never Ending Story
As always please share any stories of your experiences. I am committed to going for it more in my life and so far it’s been amazing and truly rewarding. I hope you find it is too! xox, Sarah
this is one of those perfect little things in life that pops up when things look bland and it just gives you a little shove in the right direction. thank you, this is a blessing to read. and it’s a little push toward following my dreams again
YAY! That’s rad Julianne!
Nice article bee head. You inspire me every day with your outlook, your openness and your spirit.
XOXO
and harry’s monologue @ the end IS epic. best. line. ever: “i came here tonight b/c when you realize you wanna spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start right away.” so honest.
you’re right–movies today are too perfect; missing a healthy dose of cynicism and flaws. and that only makes us want that fantasy world and have unrealistic expectations of those around us and of ourselves.
I cannot express how much I needed this pep talk! I’ve been royally stuck, and this article is helping to motivate me to do what desperately needs to be done. Thank you so much!!! I love the Vision Board project!
I have to give a shout out to Buffy who, granted, had super powers, but she also was a big spaz often enough. And of course her friends were all about dealing with unpopularity, embracing their geekiness, and being unafraid to take huge chances, despite overwhelming fear. So at least there’s one example from the 90s!
I’m in the middle of a *huge* going for it plan, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen as quickly as it does in the movies. My partner once asked me if I’d be okay if he took a job with a pay cut, in order to do something he really loves. Of course I’m completely behind him, with the qualification that we be able to pay our bills and the cats can come with us wherever we go. (I’m in Austin, Texas right now.)
He accepted a job in Germany, and we have been through the ringer over and over again for an entire year, trying to get the money together to move the cats and me over there. (We ran through our moving allowance quickly, because of the pay cut & maintaining two households.) After 8 years together, having been apart no longer than 4 days in the past…being on different sides of the pond has been *sooo* hard!!
I always think of Jospeh Campbell’s expression, “Follow your bliss.” with regard to situations like this. An ex of mine told me people were wildly misinterpreting the expression, using it as an excuse to do whatever the heck they wanted, all willy-nilly, damn the consequences. However there’s a very important aspect in Campbell’s true meaning of the phrase, and that is, that you should commit and work yourself to the bone to do what you really love. It’s not instant gratification, but true devotion to what you love.
I hope someone finds this interesting — my point that “going for it” can be grueling, but absolutely, totally worth it. My Vision Board will have photos of my Love, as well as the gorgeous places we’ll visit in Germany and all its awesome neighbors. And I *will* get this place cleaned and packed all by myself, as impossible as it seems to me.
Eyes on the prize!!
Love it! Hoping u get your prize!!
I adore it, I live in the Eighties in my mind
Meee toooooo
Having just separated from my husband of ten years (honest I was about 3 when I married) I promised myself that I was going to live my own romantic comedy. Unfortunately – I am feeling as though this movie has a long drawn out set up and that half the characters may leave before the movie really gets going. Time to re-write the story line I think. This one needs a go-getting heroine – not a Prince Charming. Time to revamp the vision board.
New story line involving a montage with lots of new outfits and cleaning out of closet/mind I hope.
The prince charming motif is done to death anyhoo. xo
aaaahhhh, bethany!! i am such a similar situation. new story line and characters definately necessary…. btw 9 years so i was 11 when i was married
Thanks for such a great post! Very inspiring and triple points for 80′s references!!
Thank u !!
I went for it this past fridaywith this guy i am interested in, and i have been having little hiccups of embarrassment and uncertaintythis whole weekend …i needed this. thank you!
So glad it helped – and hope the dude knows what’s good for him
Easy A was a great call back to the ever-endearing 80′s movies. Got to love her quote about chivalry. But it’s true. If life were an 80′s movie, the underdog would win because of their heart. And that, my friends, is a life worth while.
Here here!
This was brilliant. I took it to heart and I WILL live by what you said more often! So many times I ask myself what I did wrong when I feel like my friends don’t like me the way I think they should, what a bummer I can be!
I hope to show this to my kids someday too When they’re teenagers and times get rough. I know that I could have use this back then
Thank you very very much :]
I know man, and half the time it’s nothing – just a weird inner voice that’s talking you into a fear. I sometimes tell myself in the mirror, “Dude, let it go.” and most of the time I do.
I made a dream-board/collage last week, and I think John Cusack is the Bee’s Knees. Everything else about this article is lovely, as well. But those little bits really made my mouth turn up at both corners!
Yay for smiling! Thanks Jessica
Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80′s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80′s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.
Oh, I’m so sorry…I’m new to this, and can barely see the buttons on the page… I wanted to *applaud* your reference to “Easy A”, and I immediately thought of it myself, when reading this article! Why can’t I undo my downward arrow and click the heart??
I guess you can think of it as an, “I’m down with that!” *embarrassed grin*
Me too girl – and hey maybe it will happen – if only the universe had surround sound theme music!
I guess it all depends on how you define chivalry.
Part of the problem is the ever changing swirl of confusing conflicting messages
sent out to the men of the world. You can’t berate a man for being masculine and
bemoan his lack of masculinity at the same time.
Don’t ask for a nice guy, but only sleep with /date a-holes.
Don’t complain about guys not approaching you at work, but file sexual harassment complaints against those that do.
Don’t wear something showing cleavage and yell at the guys that look.
The truth is, guys love to do things for their ladies, it gives them purpose.
If you teach a man that the only way to succeed with a lady is not treat
her like one, you get this result. Yes, it is indeed the fault of you and your
“sisters”.
If you want a world that produces good men, give out clear signals about
your actual wants/needs/desires. And then walk the walk.
The plain simple truth is, men are no where near as complex as you make them
out to be, just don’t confuse simple with being stupid/boring. Men do not exist to
be your entertainment center, fix-it project, or ATM.
Be happy if you find a good man, cherish him and raise your boys to be good men and train your daughters to appreciate them.
Sally being melted by Harry’s epic monologue
I love this film
Thank you guys ! So happy to read all these comments. I have a smile |______________| this wide. xoxo!!!!!
I think it’s awesome that you have an “image board”. I have a tiny, locker-sized dry erase board attached to my front door. I write inspirational quotes (mostly song lyrics, lol) and draw little doodles on it every few days. I also save all my fortune cookie fortunes and stick them on there too. My phrase for the past few days has been a lyric from the Katy Perry song “Firework” which, I have also adopted as my theme song, lol! That’s right internet, I have a theme song.
I like it! It’s definitely going into rotation. I have dance parties too…in my car on the way to and from work. I refer to them as my “Janet Reno Dance Parties”, haha! Oh, that Will Ferrell!
LOVE the theme song! I think mine is definitely : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVpir5vSA78
I blast this at my one-girl dance parties in my socks.
Thanks, love this article
Self blame is a hard thing to get over, especially when it comes to love. I recently “went for it”, and was disappointed in a very cruel way. Thank you for reminding me why I choose to be honest and open with people, despite those that will not be able to return the courtesy.
Lovely article, thank you again.
Mimi, girl, I’m with you. We all have one of those stories and you’re the one with the bright shiny soul, that’s all I gotta say. x
OBSESSED is an understatement when it comes to my feelings about When Harry Met Sally. I love that movie! I started watching it at a time filled with bad relationship mojo, and it actually ended up helping me in the end. In a relationship where I had given everything, I took a cue from Sally and stepped back from the situation. In the end, it worked out wonderfully (kinda like with Harry and Sally), which was a huge blessing because I know that doesn’t happen for a lot of people. Thanks for writing this article and THANKS AWESOME 80s MOVIES!
We ALL deserve a monologue like that!! Thanks for the comment
I’ve been feeling melancholy lately about things, and this article was the perfect read at the perfect time. It’s scary to put yourself out there, but I do know how worth it is in the end. I like the idea of the ‘vision board’. So great, Sarah!
And, now, I really want to watch The Never Ending Story and Say Anything.
So glad Liz!! Disclaimer: The Never Ending Story might be only good to a five year old in the 80′s – it didn’t age well. But might be worth a laugh. Thanks for reading! x