Are You There Blog? It's Me CaraghA New Year's Resolution List I Can Stick ToCaragh Poh

If you’re anything like me, your New Year’s Resolutions list include the same failed items every year

  • Lose weight
  • Keep my personal space clean
  • Keep up with shaving my legs so as to avoid the lengthy process of the deforestation of my shins when I let things go hippie-style for a couple weeks.
  • Be more confident

Well, this year I’m not trying so hard. Last year my sole goal was to be “The Boss Bitch of 2k11″ and I believe I halfway succeeded. Am I, in fact, the Boss Bitch of 2k11? Not quite — but the goal is vague enough that I can list my accomplishments for the year and designate them as proper Boss Bitch realized dreams.

This year, my New Year’s Resolution List is shaping up to be infallible. I will not only succeed at every goal, I will surpass it. In roughly 366 days, on our next New Year’s Eve celebration, I will feel so much better about myself for completing these depressingly easy goals than actually working towards a better me:

  • Pet at least 1 new dog a month.
  • Watch 5 hours of Netflix Instant every three weeks.
  • Keep up with the Kardashians
  • Run so late for work that I have to put my mascara on while driving.
  • Don’t get pulled over while putting on my mascara while driving.
  • Paint my nails at least once a week. Ignore the older women who look at my glitter and solid color combo nails with disdain while remarking that my fingernail polish is, “…interesting”. It’s not their fault that they’re old and don’t understand that nail art is how young women express themselves now.
  • Sleep in past noon at least once a month. During those days, ensure I do not change out of my pajamas until well after sunset. At which point I will promptly put on new, clean pajamas.
  • Wear my sunglasses that are embellished with the images of $100 bills on the frames (The Money Stunners) more often. When the inevitable compliments roll in, neglect to mention that I got them from an arcade.
  • Buy vitamins with the intentions of taking them.
  • Do not get angry at self when I do not take the vitamins.
  • Be the Boss Bitch of 2k12

New Year’s resolution pic via ShutterStock

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  1. [...] you read my post last week, you’re well aware that my only goal for 2011 was to be a Boss Bitch. I don’t think [...]

  2. I love the Nail Polish one; I totally got one of those “interesting” replies earlier today!
    Mine are:
    1. To see the Grand Canyon (was born in Arizona and travel there a lot, but have yet to see this natural wonder.
    2. Walk my dog more :(
    3. Stop saying “I’m sorry” just to say it, because for some reason I feel massive guilt for something that is beyond my control and I have become an “I’m sorry” robot.
    4. Go to Boston and NYC
    5. Wear more hats
    6. Kontinue to not Keep up with the Kardashians
    7. Be more dedicated to a blog I started and work on my writing projects
    8. Do more Yoga and meditation
    9. To find a mister, that I think is JUST RIGHT!

  3. Great list Caragh! Here’s mine:
    1. WHEN I fall off my diet, which I WILL lol, I change my saying of “Blasted damnation! I’m done for!” to “Whoopsiedaisy! :-)” and continue on happily dieting the next day.
    2. To kick some serious booty with my hubby is some sort of 2 player xbox coop.
    3. To actually take pity on my roomba when I hear “Open roomba’s brush cage and clean brushes” and to possibly actually clean the brushes. lol
    4. To create an awesome playlist for when I clean the house and be totally ok with it if I “accidentally” turn the cleanfest into just a dancefest instead.
    5. Buy at least 1 new OPI nail polish every month (darn :-P)
    6. Save eating chocolate for a special occasion.
    7. Have at least one special occasion celebration every day!
    8. Completely laugh the entire day after the 2012 scare is finally over! (You heard me silly people!)
    9. Kiss the hubby more. :-)
    10. Read HelloGiggles every day/night/moment. Yay!