A Love Letter to My Bestie and How to Recognize a Bestie When You Have One Becca Sands

I haven’t always had a bestie. I always had friends, but never a real bestie. I nearly had one back in elementary school but once middle school hit, she became evil and I was still perfectly amazing, so that caused a bit of tension. Even when we were close, she wasn’t all that supportive or nice, so I’m not sure why I thought she was ever good for me. Maybe our huge falling out is the reason I avoided having a bestie for so long. All through high school I had friends in this group and that group, but while girls teamed up with their besties for group work and such, I realized that while I was friends with them, I wasn’t their best friend forever. That realization at the age of 16 can kind of throw a person for loop and not a good kind of loop, like a fruit loop, but more like a track loop that you have to run for gym class. A really crappy loop.

College opened me up not only to academic horizons but social ones as well. For the first time since I was 12, I had a bestie. My roommate, Shannon, became my go-to friend. When I first moved in, I had my doubts about her because she was a soccer player and I was hardcore missing my marching band, but we bonded over her Friends DVDs and Chinese food. That was our Saturday routine and it was fabulous.

Of course, she ended up abandoning me for a semester in Mexico, then she transferred schools and moved to Mexico permanently, then moved to San Francisco and she’s now teaching English in South Korea. I’m super proud of her, but I miss her oodles and sort of hate her for ditching me for this amazing life she has now. We still keep in touch, though, and she’s happy, so that’s all that matters to me.

After Shannon, there were a few here and there: new roommate Katie was wonderful and Darah remained my music major buddy for the remainder of college, but after Shannon, no one stepped up as bestie until my senior year roommate, Cassie.

Cassie, Katie and I lived together in my first grown-up apartment: an adorable townhouse a few blocks from the college. We got along well from the beginning; we had shared a class once, although we didn’t know we were destined to be besties at the time. She and Katie were friends and when Katie made the suggestion that Cassie be our third, I figured, “Why not?” and everything was lovely. I needed a place to stay that first week of school before we could move in to our apartment (I lived four hours away), so Cassie offered up her parents house and the whole family, complete strangers, took me in like I was one of their own.

Since then, Cassie has become a “Super Bestie Of All Time and Ever” type of bestie. For some reason, we became even closer when she moved out almost a year ago. I feel silly now for thinking that she and I might lose touch. So here’s my bestie love letter to Miss Cassie, because a girl should never let her bestie forget why she’s bestie material.

Dear Princess Cassie,

Hi, honey! I hope you feel better. You sounded pretty nasty last night. Don’t worry, you didn’t keep me up, I super-duper promise! Also, that koala was really comfy, so let your friend know that she did a nice job making him. :)

I’m really excited for Friday! We are going to have so much fun. I mean, we need to have a lot of fun, because that’s next week’s article for me, so we need to have a huge adventure, or else it’s going to be reeeallllyyyy dull for the HelloGiggles readers.

Very seriously though, thanks for being my bestie. And for calling me out on my crap. And for being so excited for the most mundane things in my life. Remember that time you hugged me for forever last year when my dad was in the hospital and my mom found out she had cancer? That was so bestie of you. And remember when you offered to go with me to a She & Him concert even though you don’t listen to their music, but you didn’t want me to miss out on seeing them? So bestie of you.

You’ve bought me Red Robin food and wine and given me your goldfish. How much more bestie can you get?!

Anyway, this was my public proclamation that you’re my bestie and I love you. See you tomorrow, princess!

love love love!

Bex

Guys, I wasn’t even lying when I said she’s bought me Red Robin and wine. This girl is one in a million, seriously. I am now going to teach you how to recognize a bestie so that you don’t let one go, or worse, settle for someone who doesn’t deserve the title.

  • Besties should be able to watch Keeping up with the Kardashians with you and not judge you, but instead, immediately be able to make fun of Kourtney’s voice.
  • Besties should love your boyfriend as much as you do (just not in the same way as you do).
  • Besties should let you know when you’re acting like a jerk, but never hold it against you. After they tell you, they should stick with you while you cry your eyes out and then pick yourself up. Also, they should show up at your work the night after your breakdown with your favorite Starbucks drink to cheer you up and remind you that you’re not a bad person, you’re just still learning and that’s okay.
  • Besties should get super excited about your new jobs and opportunities and support you 100%. They should read your articles and congratulate your promotions.
  • Besties should always watch New Girl with you and laugh a lot (although she might just do that because she knows what’s good for her).
  • Besties should always share their goldfish, pretzels, Skinny Cow ice cream bars and Red Robin french fries with you.
  • Besties should know your favorite kind of wine and then purposely not buy it so you’re not tempted.
  • Besties should always tell you look hot in that dress, but you’ll look even hotter in the one that doesn’t make you look like a bison.
  • Besties had better use their retail discounts for you.
  • Besties should politely pretend you’re not weirdly obsessed with Harry Potter and love you anyway.
  • Besties should go halvies with you on the complete Sex and the City DVD collection. She can also watch the series and go, “Oh my gosh, Charlotte is so you,” without even knowing that Charlotte is your absolute favorite. She’s also so happy when you say, “And you’re Samantha, you ho.”
  • Besties should be there, no matter what, in any crisis, and are willing to drive across states or fly across the country if it means helping you. You, as a fellow bestie, should probably demand they not do that, because you know they need to work and they need to save their money. You won’t be hurt if they really don’t show up, but if they do, I hope you have tissues with you.

It’s nice to finally have a bestie. Don’t feel bad if you don’t have one, because you will find one, eventually. Besties are a type of soul mate. I might still be jaded when it comes to true love, but not when it comes to true best friends.

PS: Mariska Hargitay, if you’re reading this, I’m so serious about how much I love my bestie, so please get in contact with me on how I can get her to visit your set. You are her hero and I would love to see her so so happy. Your people can call my people.

featured image from www.allmoviephoto.com

comments

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  1. I just agree with so many of those things!!!

  2. Wow, this takes me back! I too grew up in the philly ‘burbs! life was hard at 12, what would i have done without my BESTIE to take me all the way through middle school, high school, college, and all major life transitions!

    I am so grateful for bestie (since 5th GRADE!) LOVE YOU D!!!!!

    -S.Billings

  3. all I love this. I’m so honored to have two in my life and that’s not including my sisters. Good friends are hard to come by so when you find one hold on to them. :)

    Anonymous | 10/04/2011 12:10 pm
  4. I like this post! I don’t really have a bestie right now, but I’m looking for one (if anyone’s interested, I’m accepting applications now! haha). I like the letter you wrote to your bestie and the things a bestie should do; I’ll keep them in mind!

  5. basically, you described my friend group. we all read the article and loved it. particularly because we get together every tuesday night to watch the new girl and eat junk food together, and because two of us are named katie and cassie. :) anyways, totally accurate and adorable.

    • YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! That makes me so happy!!! Katies and Cassies are pretty great. Beccas, too ;)

      Becca Sands | 10/26/2011 04:10 pm
  6. my bestie always offers brownie bites and beer-wine after a break up. that trumps red robin fries in my book. besties rule!

    • We clearly have very different qualities of Red Robin fries at our respective chains, LOL!

      Becca Sands | 10/26/2011 04:10 pm
  7. That just made me miss my bestie like crazy! She moved to another state beginning of this year & we keep in touch heaps, but still I’d kill to see her right now… I too went through the journey of friends to finding a real bestie, when you find the right one it’s totally worth it!

    • Oh gosh, I can’t imagine having a bestie so far :( I hope you and your bestie will be reunited soon <3 Don't let the distance hurt the friendship!

      Becca Sands | 10/26/2011 04:10 pm
  8. Besties should be just as weirdly obsessed with Harry Potter as you are and love you all the more for it.

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