A Darker Shade Of PinkA Little Too Much Coffee TalkStephanie Sparer

I have this thing where older men like to talk to me. It’s like I’m Justin Beiber and they’re a teenage girl. They just can’t get enough of me and I am too polite to just ignore them.

Today was no exception. While sitting by myself – happily, I might add – at a coffee shop, an older gentleman (think the age Don Draper would be today) came over and sat down next to me. He nodded and I nodded back. “You’re a pretty girl,” he says to me. “That means you’ll make some guy a pretty wife.”

Okay, fine. He’s being nice. I say thank you and get back to my book thinking that’s it. That’s the end of this conversation. But no, he didn’t think so. He begins to ask me if I’m in school, if people tell me I look young for being a college student and if I have ‘a steady’. He’s being pleasant enough, if not invading my comfort zone and my ‘me’ time but I don’t want to be rude, so I go ahead and answer.

“I do have a boyfriend, yes,” I say, taking a sip of my latte.
“Do you know how to cook, then?” He gives a big grin, “A pretty girl like you oughtta know how to cook – even if you are going to school! Being a man’s wife is going to be your most important job.”

I don’t really know what the look on my face must have said to him but this guy skedaddled mighty quickly after that.

Look, I love being girlie. I wear vintage dresses like most girls wear sweat pants but starting at a really young age, I was always told by my mother that the most important thing to do in life is to make something of yourself first and not to focus on trying to find a husband. Like, if someone asked me if I had a meditation mantra, it’d probably be “make something of yourself” because that’s how often my mom says it to me. While there’s is nothing wrong with wanting to be someone’s wife (excuse me, but what lady out there hasn’t seen Say Yes to the Dress?), just make sure you know that you can make it on your own, too.

So yeah, you should know how to cook, but for you. Because you want to. Because chances are, your husband is gonna love you for being a smart, sassy, independent woman (I think I stole that line from either Oprah or Cosmo?) and he’d be totally fine with yesterday’s microwaved pizza instead, especially if it’s the kind with cheese-y crust.

Featured image courtesy of Robert S. Donovan.

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  1. Hahaha! I dont think that there will ever under many circumstances be a situation where I will legit be able to actually cook a decent meal. I think when I buy my own house, microwaves will be on my favourites list on ebay. Or my shopping basket until I get round to exposing my credit card details. – With my busy busy life..

  2. The best thing to say in a situation where a guy hits and you and you WOULDN’T tap that is:

    “Sorry, but I’m in middle school.”

  3. I think I want to be that guy when I grow up. I will constantly change the theme of my offensiveness (one day sexist, one day racist). I think it will be a constructive way to inspire the next generation.

    That said, my lady can’t cook. All of the meals in our house are both delicious and prepared by me. Of course, I have to cook in the nude so I can continually look down to affirm my masculinity.

  4. This happens to me ALL the time. Seriously. Old dudes are constantly talking to me. I feel badly because I think they’re just being nice, but also, I feel uncomfortable. Invariably these experiences lead to me feeling either a. creeped out or b. bad because I am judging a nice old man who is just trying to make conversation. A lot of old men tell me that I remind them of people, too?

  5. I remember my grandfather always asking me if I was watching my mom when she cooked because it was going to be super important one day. Well, I do cook. I am a GREAT cook. And, one day I’d love to cook for someone. I love cooking for people, but it doesn’t have to be a husband. I’d also like someone to cook for me! I think it’s important for things like that to go both ways. And, I’m a single girl, so I cook what I want, when I want it. And, if I ever get a husband, he’ll be lucky if he gets to try my baked salmon. I know I love it!

  6. wow, just wow. i have had similar experiences too. some people think that if you are alone you must want some company and then feel they have the right to drill you about your personal life. i have learned a new mantra though. its ok to be rude back. in fact its not even rudeness i dont think. if someone is sitting down uninvited and starts asking you personal questions, they are being rude and it is perfectly acceptable to either tell them so or just ignore them. They are being rude, not you.

  7. Woah, I’m still shocked that you had a similar experience to what happened to me while I was leaving Starbucks and that guy was asking if I was married or had kids.
    I really don’t like it when total strangers get all up in someone’s business to that degree. It’s rude, plain and simple.

    I’m pretty sure that you ARE going to make a wonderful wife, but that isn’t anyone’s business but yours. Ech.

    PS I still don’t know what to make of myself.