A Letter From My PimpleEliza Hurwitz

Hey, girl! I know I rarely make an appearance, but I just thought it would be fun, seeing as you have a couple dates and interviews lined up, for me to “pop up,” so to speak. I was with you when you were checking out your calendar and on it I saw “first date tonight!” And I figured I’d like to see this guy for myself. So your favorite chin pimple is going along for the ride.

I just wanted to let you know that I only show up when I do because I care for you deeply. As your most cherished and prized recurring pimple, I think it’s imperative that you know how much I love you. I want you to know that I’m here for you, always. Every day. Even when you don’t see me, I’m there lurking under the surface. I support you. No matter how harsh you are to me. No matter how much Salicylic Acid you’ll burn me with. No matter how many times you’ll curse and glare at me in the mirror. Yes, your hatred stings, but it also keeps me alive.

Your anger makes me capable of seeing the person I know and wish you could be: an angry, aggressive person who isn’t afraid to speak her mind. A person who isn’t afraid to take risks, and try the craziest combinations of topical medications or home remedies to get rid of me. Even though it killed when you smeared that crushed up Ibuprofen and lemon juice, I couldn’t help but smile as I looked into your eyes, eyes that were fierce, almost maniacal with excitement. That was a good day. Even though you acknowledge me in the most hateful terms, knowing that I have an impact on you makes me feel useful and satisfied in my skin and yours, which is one in the same. I hope I can lead by example seeing as I just used to just be some dirt under your skin, too timid to come to the surface – but look at me now. Look at how I’ve grown! I know you can do the same.

But, if there is one thing I really want to help you with, it’s love. Because if the way you spend your Saturday nights – alone on the couch in your favorite sweatpants (which I’ve heard you refer to as your “Lovely Lounge Pants”) and singing “Isn’t She Lovely” to yourself completely out of tune – is any indication, then I think it’s safe to say you’re alone. As a pimple, I, more than anyone, understand what is most vital to love. And that is love means never having to say you’re sorry. I know most people think this is completely false, but I’m not a person, I’m a pimple and therefore, I’m wiser. You probably think I should be sorry for the time I sprouted – pretty horrifically, I might add – while you were on a relaxing family vacation. I’m not. I made sure to overstay my welcome, swimming, lounging and going out with you every night. Or what about the time a couple years ago you were having a really stressful week with lots of projects and papers due and I decided to pop in? I stayed up with you all hours of the night working and then I would force myself to go to class with you in your horrific lounge pants.  For these times and all other times in the past and future I am not, nor will I ever be sorry. I’m not sorry, because I know I am helping you. I am forcing you to realize your full potential. Through the pain you will emerge, like a butterfly, stronger and more confident than ever.

With these words I hope you reconsider our relationship. I hope one day you won’t be so hateful to me, because when you hate me, you’re hating a part of yourself. Maybe I’m not beautiful, but I know with every fiber of my being, I’m not as ugly as you think.

With love always,

Chin Pimple

Featured image via.

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  1. This is so cute. I had to “share” and link your article on Facebook mentioning that if any girls a smile they should read this. =^.^=
    I’ve been in such a down random mood today and this made me smile a ton. You’re an awesome writer, please keep it up!

  2. Is it weird that I started hearing “I’ll Be Watching You” in my head while reading this?

  3. Ha! I like the psycho stalker vibe the pimple is subtly giving off.

  4. Oh my gosh, I freaking love this! It just made my hectic Saturday morning a little brighter :)

  5. Hahahaha, awesome. And true.