The Pregnant Lady's Perspective A Few Weeks of Preparation, Waiting for My Period to Arrive and Playing With my Daughter Sarah Spangenberg

OH MY GOD. Do you know how close my due date is? No? Probably not. But I do. It’s twenty-five days away. You know what that means – it means that I could feasibly ‘go’ at any time now. I’m freaking out. But in a good way, mostly. I’m nesting like all holy hell (do you actually know the kind of stuff that can accumulate behind a washer and dryer? I could die), finishing the baby’s room (which is complete, with the exception of THAT BABY) and stocking up on breast pads and sanitary pads and whatever other pads you might need to block the many leaking orifices that’ll be on the way soon.

Before you ask, no, I will not be breast-feeding. I KNOW. I know. I’m the worst mother to ever walk the earth and there’s going to be psychological damage along with the myriad health problems that my kids are going to encounter in their lifetime because they weren’t breastfed and right, yes, all of that. You don’t need to tell me. I’ve heard it all before. But guys? I think that the whole how-you’re-going-to-feed-your-children thing is a decision unique to mothers everywhere, and unlike *some* people I’ve encountered over the past few weeks (and months), I’m not going to judge them because they choose to do something differently than I would. It’s just not in me to do that, I guess, and I’m far too excitedly anticipatory to really bother with bellyaching over whether or not people think I’m making The Ultimate Parenting Decision to End All Parenting Decisions in Life Forever and Ever Amen.

The only thing that seems to be putting a damper on my excitement, however, is the fact that my ‘alone time’ with my daughter is quickly coming to a close. Boo hoo, right? If that’s the worst of my problems, I should count myself lucky and I do. I fully realize that nothing unmanageable is going to change, and my little girl is going to be here when I get home from the hospital and, God willing, for the rest of our lives, but I also know that there’s going to be a slightly different dynamic than the one that’s present right now. So what do I do with all of my free time? “How are you spending it, Sarah?” is probably right on the tip of your tongue, isn’t it? Don’t worry: I’ll take the words right out of your mouth and give you an answer back in return.

In between managing the other sites I write for and doing that whole bill-paying thing and cooking and cleaning and doing the wife thing like a complete maniac, I take long, luxurious two-hour afternoon naps with my cuddly, warm, maple-smelling daughter on the couch. Sometimes? We even go up to mommy and daddy’s bed and take them up there, and that, my friends, has been one of the most glorious parts of the pregnancy. I know I shouldn’t act like something’s coming to an end, but realistically speaking, it is, and it’s going to be a transition for everyone in some way, shape or form. It’s going to be good – hell, it’s going to be wonderful – but it’s going to be different, and different is something that I’ve not been accustomed to in a long, long time. Guess I better dust off the old poor-me glove and pat myself on the back with it a few times before the baby gets here, right?

So of course, naturally, things have been completely crazy. I’ve been tying up all sorts of loose ends before I go off the grid for awhile, at least, and have begun the process of prioritizing the things that I need to do after Jack does arrive. It’s going to be a change, and I’m excited about it. I’ve got so much love to heap upon these two kids that it’s going to be almost stomach-churning. For others. But it’s true, and every time I look at my daughter, I see both her and my still-unborn son. And I am happy, my friends.

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  1. I too, can not stand the Breast Feeding Militant! It’s not for everyone. Should I have let me babies starve because I am unable to get my supply up, or force feed my lactose intolerant son until his tummy hurt? And although those are valid reason’s to not breastfeed, some people still made me feel bad that I wasn’t. If your baby is happy and healthy and full, that is all that matters. I wasn’t breastfed and I don’t seem to be falling apart at the seems;)

  2. I think that one of the biggest reasons why hubby and I haven’t wrapped our brain around having a second child is the fear of losing what we have with our completely awesome, beautiful four year old son. It’s just so scary :( Even with the baby fever I’m suffering- I just can’t fathom what our lives would (will) be like with another.

    • I felt exactly the same way before we got pregnant with Baby Jack, but I knew (hoped, lol) that things would be even better, so we just went ahead and did it (pun intended).

    • If you even have a thought that you what to expand your family, believe me, once your new bundle of joy has arrived, you won’t be able to imagine life w/out them! I was the same way. Our daughter is three and we just welcomed a baby boy, and it is just amazing! I was so scared to lose that special bond w/ my daughter.. there really are no words to explain the way you feel about them! And her first two years I thought no way could I love another kid like I do her, and want to share her w/ another kid. But wow! I got a little bit of baby fever last January that coinceded w/ me getting my IUD out.. badda bing.. baby was conveived! My daughter is so wonderful w/ her baby brother.. I think it is such a perfect age difference! Any hoo.. don’t let fear of the unknown stop you two.. each child is different and so amazing in their own special way.. I can’t wait to have another.. but my hubby wants to wait.. maybe another year?!

  3. Love this article! I just had my son in October (and he came a whole THREE weeks early.. so be ready!). I also have a daughter who turned three years old in October (their bdays are 6 days apart.. next year will be fun!), I was nervous before ever getting pregnant again how that would change my relationship with my daughter, because.. well, I just love her so friggin much and how on earth could any one love a child as much as I do mine (right?!) .. but the truth is, my heart just grow two fold and I love my son soooo friggin much! I can’t get enough cuddles w/ him.. and my daughter! And oh my, she is the BEST big sister ever.. it amazes me how much she just loves him, and how much he loves watching her! Motherhood is simply the best. And so are baby cuddles and naps :)

  4. Good for you for being so vocal on your choice not to breast feed! I am due in 8 weeks and feel the same way!

  5. I am a huge supporter of breast feeding but to me part of that is not pressuring a woman to do it. You know what is best for you and your little one. Happy mommy=happy family. Best wishes on your impending arrival!

  6. My sister was born when I was 9 years old, and I’ll never forget those afternoon naps I took with my mom in my mom and dad’s bed the summer before she was born. They were the best! What a great way to spend time and bliss out with my mom. I knew everything was going to change, but 15 years later I’m so glad to have my sister and my mom in my life. And, this may sound weird, but some Sunday afternoons when I go over to my parent’s house to visit and do laundry, we still end up taking a nap together on the couch or in her bed (with less cuddling, because somehow spooning with your mom when you’re 25 seems a little bit weird).

  7. I had the same concern when having my youngest!! My oldest daughter was in school, so my son and I had all this time together. And we would take naps too!! I cried hysterically one day thinking that he was no longer going to be my “baby” and all that jazz. But now, I just try to make sure there’s some sort of time with him! And get my cuddles when I can. Bedtime is usually the best cause little sis is already in bed herself, so we can read and cuddle and catch up with each other. :) P.S. I didn’t breastfeed any of my 3 children and they are all amazing. But I know what you’re saying..I’ve heard it for almost 10 years now. Let it roll.