9 Signs You're A Night Owl Andrea Greb

I am not a morning person.  I am the person you probably shouldn’t talk to until I’ve had at least two cups of coffee.  Over the years I’ve tried to turn myself into one time and time again, but it’s never really stuck, and research now says there might be a genetic reason why.  The realities of adulthood mean I’ll have to stick with getting up at a reasonable hour, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.  Do you also wish the world would just adapt to you’re preferred 2am-10am sleep schedule?  Here are some other signs you might be a night owl:

1. “Go to bed!” was a common reprimand during your childhood.  I completely believe this genetic night owl thing, as I have been this way as long as I can remember.  I lived for the summer, when bedtime was a nonexistent thing and I could stay up as late I wanted (provided my parents didn’t notice my light was still on at 3am).

2. Mornings are the worst thing in the world.  You’ve heard there are people who jump out of bed before their alarm goes off, ready to take on the day, but you are not one of them.  You hit snooze approximately 1000 times until you finally look at the clock, realize you’re already late, at which point you start to debate whether or not you can get away with not showering.  Again.

3. You freak out whenever you hear an alarm clock adjacent noise.  You know how on your phone, all the ringtones double as alarm noises?  There is nothing worse than when someone’s using your alarm noise as their ringtone, because you hear it and immediately just start feeling all the panicked feelings of it being the morning and time to get up.

4. You know the best TV starts at 11pm.  When I was a kid, I was obsessed with staying up to watch Letterman do the Top 10 list.  My new favorite thing is @Midnight, but you’ve also got Fallon, Stewart, Colbert...how can you go to sleep when hilarity is happening?

5. Coffee is an anytime beverage.  I know tons of people that cannot handle caffeine after noon because they won’t be able to sleep.  We the night owls don’t fear this situation.  We’ll be up anyway, why not be a little perkier?

6. 10pm plans are perfect, 10am plans are a thing you won’t make it to.  You long for the days of college, when parties started at 11pm and classes never began before 9am.  Notions of “reasonable bedtimes” and “6am spin class” are just not things you’re interested in.

7. Closing times annoy you.  Stores close by 9, the gym closes at 11, even the grocery store closes by midnight.  You’re up at 2am, must your only option for a place to buy things be the drug store?

8. Everything just seems better after 9pm.  If you’re anything like me, you know this routine all too well – the alarm goes off, it’s early, you’re grumpy, you vow to your sleepy self that tonight will be the night you go to bed earlier.  You slog through the day, and as soon as it reaches the time when you should be thinking about going to sleep early like you said you would, you suddenly have all the energy in the world.   You should be sleeping, but now seems like a great time to watch TV or clean your room or read a book or do pretty much anything besides sleep, and suddenly it’s really late and you have to be up in four hours.  And so the cycle continues.

9. You have giant eyes and you like to eat mice.  No, wait, that’s a sign you’re an actual owl.  Nevermind.

Image via Surviving the World

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  1. Just as a side note, that image originally comes from a webcomic called Surviving the World, by Dante Shepherd. It is typically seen as poor form to repost such works without attribution, although it appears that “Innovatively Organized” is the main group at fault here…

    http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson964.html

  2. “‘Morning people’ – those high-functioning, grinning morons, who skip out their beds and pounce at the dawn as eagerly and energetically as a young puppy greets a hanging shoelace.

    My mornings are dark and sombre affairs, spent grieving the sleep of which I’ve been robbed; morning is when blades of daylight hack viciously at the dreams that have kept you company through the night.” – Jon Richardson, aka my soulmate and champion of night owls everywhere

  3. I have felt so alone in this world until this list! What is it about a 9pm second or third wind? Like I could possibly go to bed at 11, even midnight?!

    Thank you.

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