8 Reasons Why Heels Are the Worst Karen Belz

If there’s anything that I’ve learned about heels, it’s that there’s a certain amount of class and power behind them. Whenever there’s a wedding, heels are typically appropriate. Have a big job interview? Break out the heels! Going out on the town with your besties? Heels! But, let’s think about it. Why do we want to celebrate our main events with foot sprains and blisters? Don’t we really want to be at our best, feeling our best?

Now keep in mind, I’m 5’10″ and pretty much a human Muppet. So, my real “need” to conquer the heel was something I felt like I should eventually do, and not something I truly needed to do. If anything, I’d be wearing a shoe that took height away from me.

However, I know for a fact that the hatred of heels can come from girls of all shapes and sizes. I’m here to help back up that hatred. Ladies, here are 8 reasons why we should just ditch these uncomfortable, pointy foot monsters that we lump in the shoe category.

1. Dancing is difficult.

Next time you’re at a wedding, see how quickly the bride changes her beautiful heels for a pair of comfortable flats – or even sneakers! Some brides would rather rock out to Bon Jovi while barefoot instead of in those uncomfortable pumps.

Danielle from America's Next Top Model? I salute you. You survived the worst challenge ever.

Danielle from America’s Next Top Model? I salute you. You survived the worst challenge ever.

2. While having her glass slipper fly off on a stair greatly benefited Cinderella, no other woman has ever had amazing things happen to her after this common shoe snafu.

Not only can you totally fall down a flight of stairs, but you can also totally ruin your shoe. And hey – shoes are expensive.

3. You’ll shorten the fibers in your calf muscles.

The Journal of Applied Physiology posted a study saying that women who mostly wear heels put greater strain on their muscles. Women who typically went without stretched their tendons more while walking. Since tendons are more effective springs than muscles, heel wearers walked less efficiently.

4. Heels slow you down.

You are a woman on a mission. And if you’re walking gingerly, you’ll never reach that mission. Just think about the many reasons why it’s not advisable to wear high heels on a treadmill.

5. Foot pain.

Oh, the pain! According to a study from the College of Podiatry, 20 percent of women claim they start to feel pain within only 10 minutes of wearing high heels. Don’t even get me started on pointy toed heels. Your toes weren’t meant to be mushed into a triangle.

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Ever wear a pair of heels and realize that they’ve imprinted lines around your foot the second you take them off? Shoes are meant to protect your foot. When your shoe turns against you, they turn into your biggest frenemy. Et tu, stiletto?

6. If you’re at least of average height, you risk towering over your date.

While I hold no prejudice over a tall girl dating a shorter guy, the guy might feel a bit intimidated. It depends on the guy, really. But there’s a good chance it’ll be a topic of discussion at some point. And if you have the capability of not looking like Billy Crystal and that other guy from My Giant, why not take it?

7. Heels are a nightmare for outdoor weddings.

If you’re invited to an outdoor wedding this year, be prepared to sink in the ground and cover up that beautiful lawn with holes.

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8. Heels make driving pretty difficult.

A story hit local news recently from the next town over – a clown got into a car accident when he drove in his clown shoes. Nobody was hurt, so you can laugh about this. I did – for quite some time. But the truth of the matter is, that clown could have really hurt someone based on not wearing proper shoes to drive in. If your heels make breaking a hassle, don’t even consider getting behind the wheel with them.

So, there you have it. Heels can be a total nightmare. Sure, they might be cute. They might be downright adorable. But to me, the pain greatly outweighs the pleasure.

Image Credits: Featured, Pain, Driving, ANTM

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  1. The only one of these problems I’ve ever had is sinking into the ground. But maybe that’s because I work out a lot and do gymnastics, so I have killer calves. I can walk just as efficiently while wearing heels and often pass people wearing tennis shoes. I think heels are only a good choice for people who have the muscles to be able to pull it off.

  2. Hey, PAIN should be number 1!! I work in fashion and am really short (1,50 m and, if google’s correct, 4’11”), but honestly I just cannot deal with the pain… How can I enjoy what I’m doing or even focus on it when all I can think about is what goes on below my ankles?

  3. I don’t wear heels often BUT I am a better dance in heels. When I don’t wear heels I tend to get on my toes anyway, something about the constant contraction of my calf muscles….

  4. My early 20s heels phase led to a sprained ankle that developed Compex Regional Pain Syndrome and now I’m disabled….so yeah, evil things. On the upside, I did have damn sexy legs on that last day that I was healthy… (So not worth it)

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