8 Problems You're Sure To Have When You're Always The Shortest Girl In the Room

In my 22 years of always being the smallest in the room and ending my growth journey at a whopping 4 foot 11.5 inches (yes, I’ll be counting that last half an inch with my last dying breath), I’ve almost figured out how to navigate the world and deal with the pesky problem that come with being like Thumbelina.

The odd problems I’ve encountered are as follows:

1. The Average Sized Pet Vs. Crotch

When walking up to the average sized dog, there is one place their nose is as direct level with: your crotch. Not only is it quite embarrassing having a dog’s nose sniffing your lady bits, but also it’s just plain inconvenient! Shuffle to the left, dog is there. Shuffle to the right, dog is there. Try and do a 180 spin. Dog’s nose is now in another inconvenient/embarrassing place. Golden retrievers, labs, all your mid sized and popular dogs cause this problem.

2. Assuring Potential Suitors That I’m Not 15

Sitting in a booth at a bar is not a problem. When a guy comes over, you start chatting, things are going nicely. Then you stand up and their face sinks. They are feeling like a pedophile. You have to read their face and assure them: I’m 22… not 15.

3. The Nickname

I WANT THAT ADORABLE NICKNAME DAMMIT! In elementary school I was not-so-lovingly called “shrimp”. Not the cute one I strive for. Minnie, peanut, anything is better than shrimp! I think I deserve it. I’ve handled my shortcoming with such grace.

4. No, I Don’t Have A Handicapped Pass

No, I can’t park in the handicapped space. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been asked if I qualify as a LP (little person). Through my research, I’ve learned that there isn’t the much believed “height limit”. And I am certainly not, as I was referred to by a drunk girl at a party in high-school, “Primordial Dwarf”.

5. You Must Be This Tall To Ride

Not that I ever really wanted to go on an amusement park ride, but a silly looking sign telling me I wasn’t tall enough? That hit a soft spot. Especially since I’m 22 and I’m assuming have still not reached the height limit… not that I’ve been to a place that has the signs since I was a child.

6. Running To Keep Up

While walking with friends, they are casually strolling down the street; I am at a light to medium jog to just barely keep up. Why am I only friends with amazons?

7. You Really Wonder Why I Hate Going To Clubs?

Not joking, it smells terrible at my level… armpit level. My nose is perfectly in line with the crowd’s armpits. USE SOME DEODORANT, PEOPLE! Also, getting trampled isn’t such a fun night. Remember in Superstar how Mary Katherine Gallagher’s parents died? Trampled to death in a dance competition? That is a 100% realistic fear of mine.

8. Wind

Totally unrealistic, but could a strong enough breeze literally carry me away? I mean a particularly gusty Santa Ana wind. This is also something I fear, though I think the dance thing is possibly more likely to happen.

Then again, after griping about the negatives, there are a few plusses… I haven’t HAD to buy shoes since middle school. I still fit into the flats I wore to my 8th grade graduation I recently found buried in my closet. I do look kinda adorable standing next to my Amazon friends. People at the market do offer to get things off shelves for me… usually. And is they don’t, they’ve got an evil stare coming their way. Big time.

And we cant forget the Randy Neman song ‘Short People’. That’s a good one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=590765620 Ruth Lomax

    I’m 21 and also 4ft 11″ and have been since I was about 11! I haven’t had to deal with the same issues exactly (like dog-sniffing-crotch) but often people want to pick me up, or if I want to wear flats on a night out (which I’m intitled to, just cause I’m short doesn’t mean I HAVE to wear heels) my friends complain they will ‘tower’ over me, but I’m quite comfortable with my height!
    Another thing is actually having to go on ‘tippy toe’ to get served at the bar = being constantly checked for I,D!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=505926761 Neha Modi

    I’m 4′ 10″ and have the same exact issues. What’s sad is when I wear heels I’m still only around 5″. Needless to say, I spend a lot of my time on my tip-toes. But it has its benefits, like having an excuse to ask attractive taller men to get stuff down from you at stores etc. 😉

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1264680031 Catrina Terese

    I pwn you all, I’m 4’7″ and 24 years old! 😀

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=510191835 Jennifer Herd

    9) Concerts. Nothing like a 6 foot tall person who butts in front of you, destroying your chances of seeing anything other than the back of a T-shirt.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001342406634 Corrie Purcell

    I barely scrape 5 feet–I totally get this!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1671660204 Hannah Marie Seeger

    I am 5ft even and 21yrs old (so happy once I hit the 5foot mark at the end of high school). Though I beat some of you by only an inch, I always tend to be the shortest one in the group. Yes I am the same issues, I went to buy some alcohol the other day. The guy totally did not believe me that I was 21 even though it clearly says my bday on my license, what else do you want from me?! Haha….never had that crotch issue though. Oh and concert mobs, bad, bad idea lol.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=31403956 Angie Friedman

    I’m 4’4″ and I get frustrated all the time! I constantly am trying to look my age (26) and I rarely get people offering to help me reach things on the top shelves at the grocery store! This article speaks to me in every way. Thank you for writing this! :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1190010712 Rachel Hradisky

    27 and 4ft 10in and proud, and married to my 6Ft tall husband!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=741355129 Katy Pendris

    I am 4. 11.5 to and deal with the same problems. I enjoyed your post I certainly can relate to all this issues power to the short ladies!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=656865631 Brittany Perro

    Oh my gosh, you summarized my whole life.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1683661612 Charity S Wagner

    I am so there with you!! One of my nicknames in highschool was Fraggle (as in that 80’s childrens show “Fraggle Rock”). Yeaaah. Oh, and I also have been afraid that if I opened my umbrella on a particularly windy, rainy day I might just get swept away, Lol.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=7904712 Bitia Buenrostro

    After reading some of these comments I feel like a giant! But teaching high school and being 5’1″ is NOT easy! And #2….oh #2….that’s the excuse I give my mom when she whines that she wants grand-kids!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514463848 Angie Boyce

      I’m 5’0″ and teach high school too! It’s pretty interesting for sure!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208194589 Valentina Tagle Lorca

    And don’t even mention concerts. My first concert I had all my friends worried about the posibilities of my diying smashed by the crowd. But i did my best to handle it with dignity…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=594567793 Courtney Tomasu

      Ah yes, concerts!!! that’s a good one to add to the list. But for me, it’s more like I can’t see the performers when it’s a standing crowd kind of venue. It sucks cuz I can hear them, but I paid money so I could SEE them, too. My husband offers to carry me or let me sit on his shoulders, but depending on the crowd, I get yelled at for doing that. So 95% of the concert, I’m just staring at people’s backs :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1170616322 Kristine Snyder

    Man I’m in the same boat as you. I’m almost 23 and I’m 4’10. And I have a serious case of baby face. On more than one occasion teenage boys will come and talk to me and I have to tell them that I’m 5 years older than they think. Do you still get carded for rated R movies?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1268777050 Mara Sandroff

    I love this post! I’m 19-years-old and 5’0″, and I still get asked if I want a kids’ menu sometimes by hostesses who are the same age as I am. And I happen to love ballet flats, so if that makes our friends uncomfortable in their tallness, so be it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=556955084 Christine Minnie Dutaut

    Yes! So many short sisters. I’m 4ft 9.5, 23 years old and have been called Minnie for the last 10 years – guess I got lucky there! Love the comments below – ‘people often want to pick me up’ – right, if that’s an acceptable thing to do?! If I had a pound for every guy or gal that had asked me if I was dwarf, I’d have enough money to buy a step ladder to look them in the eye and tell them to their faces that they’re all idiots :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=41116014 Toni Curella

    This article IS my life. I’m 4’11” as many of you are.

    Being offered a kids menu until you’re in your late teens is never fun. My name is Toni, so you can imagine how many nicknames that conjured (mostly beginning with “teeny” or “tiny”). Other cons: total strangers asking you how tall you are (thanks for the confidence boost, people), being told I look like Snooki when I have a tan – not a compliment IMO. I always proudly tell those individuals that Snooki is a whopping 2 inches shorter than me.

    Luckily, I’m almost 25 and have FINALLY figured out how to do my hair and makeup to assure almost everyone I am an adult. Other Pros: being able to navigate crowds with ease, finding the smallest shoes on clearance racks, never having a problem finding a boyfriend taller than I am.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=706695126 Audrey Pelsor

    I definitely hear you on #6. I am 5’4 which is average, but my legs are SHORT and my friends are TALL so I’m constantly struggling to keep up with their natural stride.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=703356516 Coleen Byrnes

    I’m 30 and only 4’9″…. the comments I get as a mother is just awful. I get asked everything from “Are you their older sister?” to “What’s it like being a nanny?” yeaahhh. Then the looks I get when I correct them and let them know I’m the mother, not a sister or nanny are awful. I’ve even had people flat out tell me I don’t look old enough to have a 6 year old.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003377204820 Ashley Padilla

    I feel like the tallest person here lol 5’3″ gonna be 24. I’ve got all the same issues although I dont go clubing I still have to deal with all the same issues

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