Any time a new social media avenue comes along, we must ask ourselves the question: What kind of Facebook/Vine/Twitter/Tumblr/Pinterest/Kik user will we be? Will we be the person who updates ten billion times per day, announcing every step we take from our front door and back again? Or will we be the too-cool-for-school kid, the one that only posts from their super hipster hangouts and then deletes their account before it falls out of fashion?
There is perhaps nowhere on the social media landscape that lends itself to obnoxious behavior as much as Instagram. Who doesn’t love photos of babies, kittens, sunsets, lens-flared trees, groups of friends posing in front of a restaurant, oceans, outfits of the day, and did I mention kittens? Filters, as we all know, just make everything that much more exciting. Oh, Instagram, you hold so much potential for greatness. But with that potential comes…responsibility.
Have you heard of richkidsofinstagram? Perhaps you’ve seen this kid. These are egregious examples of the worst breed of Instagrammer. But there are more mundane offenses happening every day, right on your social media feeds. Presented here, in no particular order, are some of the most obnoxious trends that are happening on Instagram.
While we really appreciate that you are super fit and outdoorsy and enjoy hiking on the weekends, please spare us the photo of your leg, torn in three places and flayed open in another, after you had a bad scare with a rockslide. Or the pic of when you cut yourself cutting onions and you can see the bone inside your hand. Or that gruesome view of your not-yet-healed stitches. Please. Save those moments for posterity if you must, but don’t expose us to it in our feeds. Speaking of exposing…
You’d think this would go without saying, right? But no. Somehow, people get past the spam filters and reporting and every once in awhile, BAM, we’re treated to a close-up of some very private parts. Listen, I know that there are some who consider their Instagrams to be “art,” but I’m fairly certain that nude reflections in a bathroom mirror doesn’t make the cut. The only time nudity is ever allowable on Instagram? When it’s on a baby. It’s just a fact that babies in bathtubs make for the cutest photo-ops ever. Can’t be argued with–it’s science.
While we’re on the subject of bathrooms… I appreciate the good mirror selfie just as much as any other red-blooded, 20-something female, but there’s nothing more distasteful than seeing an open toilet in the bottom corner of the photo. Also, you would not believe how many times I’ve had to unfollow someone because they regularly posted photos of what was IN their toilet. Just no. Just. No.
No, I’m not anti-selfie. I enjoy taking them, and I like it when my friends post theirs. Usually my thought process is something like, “Oh man, I look so good today. Better post this good hair moment so that people will understand I’m cute sometimes.” As if this will stave off their reaction the next time they see me in public when I’ve pulled an allnighter and don’t look so hot. But the problem with selfies can be twofold: when the only thing you ever, ever post, is selfies, or when you are committing the crime of unironic use of duckface/pout/scoliosis pose (in case you missed it: the scoliosis pose is when girls arch their back and contort their bodies into a position that honestly makes me worried for the health of their spine). And if every single photo posted is a selfie AND those selfies are all duckface grainy mirror shots with an open toilet in the background? Yes, you can imagine the horror.
There’s a fine line between cutesy-couple photos and uncomfortable-overshare photos, and we’d like to ask that people abide by these guidelines when posting kissing pics on Instagram. Is there any tongue on display? Is one or more members of this kiss staring directly into the camera? Is anything happening that could even remotely be described as “hot-n-heavy?” If the answer to any of these is yes…then please, for everyone’s sake, refrain from posting.
6. Kelvin filter.
The moments in which the Kelvin filter can unironically be used are virtually non-existent. Tread carefully.
Like, some of us have a phobia of those things, and even those of us who don’t certainly do not desire to see the guts of the grasshopper you squished onto the concrete plastered into our Instagram feeds.
If the food is gross (horse meat, frog legs, greasy pools of unidentifiable substances), it’s no fun to glimpse in an Instagram browsing sesh. And there is perhaps no greater tragedy than what you know is a great meal being photographed in weird lighting and processed through a filter that makes it look entirely unappetizing. Food photos: proceed with caution.
What about you, Gigglers? Any obnoxious Instagram trends you see in your feeds?
Featured image via ShutterStock