Nicholas Sparks has done it again. He’s made another romantic movie that will make you cry. A movie that will make you want to do crazy things like ask the guy you’re kind of seeing questions such as, “Why don’t YOU ever kiss ME in the rain?” or “If I had amnesia, would you remind me of our love story every day, like Noah did for Allie in The Notebook?”
As I’m watching the trailer for the latest Sparks’ adaption, The Best of Me, I feel like I’ve seen this movie before. Then I realize no, I have not. I’ve just seen all of the other Nicholas Sparks’ movies.
Turns out Nicholas Sparks’ films appear to have a checklist or formula. Here are seven things that happen in almost every Nicolas Sparks’ movie:
1. It Takes Place In A Small Town Near A Body of Water
Our couple is always surrounded by nature. Is there cell service out here? Unclear. Water is also a big theme. To really story maximize a story’s romantic potential, there needs to be an ocean, a lake, a bay, who cares!?! Anything that provides for the inevitable scene where our hot leading man takes off his shirt — revealing his perfectly chiseled six pack — will do.
2. There Will Be Kissing In Water
Who knew the water could be so romantic?! Our lovers will kiss in the rain a la The Notebook and Dear John, or in the shower like in The Lucky One. I don’t recommend kissing in water in real life, because the water goes up your nose and you can’t breathe.
3.) The Movie Poster Will Most Likely Have This Pose
Because nothing says, “this is a movie about love,” like an almost kiss pose.” SPOILER ALERT: THEY KISS IN THE MOVIE.
4.) There Will Be A Pick-up Truck
It’s the ultimate Sparks set piece. Nothing is more quintessential small town than a pick-up truck. The Notebook, Safe Haven and The Lucky One all feature one.
5. There Will Be a Father Figure Who Doesn’t Approve
Mandy’s dad in A Walk to Remember, Paul Newman in Message in A Bottle. (You read that right: Paul. Newman.) Allie’s dad in The Notebook, Miley’s dad in The Last Song, the dad in The Best of Me. None of Sparks’ dads approve. You can blame that on another Sparkian device: bad boys. Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, Shane West in A Walk to Remember. If there’s one thing over-protective fathers can’t stand and daughters love, it’s bad boys.
6. The Movie Title Sounds Like A Song Title
And sometimes it is a song title! The Last Song, featured NEW MUSIC BY MILEY CYRUS (pre-twerking), Message In A Bottle is also the name of a song by The Police (AKA Sting’s band). Meanwhile, his new movie, The Best of Me, is the name of Bryan Adams, Michael Buble AND Tyrese songs. Also, there is always that theme song in his movies that really plays on your heartstrings, gives you goose bumps and makes you cry. It’s the kind of theme song that makes you contemplate buying the soundtrack. (Never buy the soundtrack).
7. Someone Died or Is Going to Die Soon
And sometimes we don’t even meet that character. In Safe Haven it was Josh Duhamel’s wife and I don’t want to spoil the others for you, but it just feels like someone is going to die in all of his stories (hence the crying). In other words: THERE WILL BE TEARS.
Other fun things that are in some but not all of Sparks’ movies:
• A Carnival
• Love Letters
• White People
• Someone at war
• A kiss where the guy holds the girl up
• A love triangle